Sakshi Dhoni in disguise

With my instructor, Ravi Dhoni

After a two day sabbatical from the gym I return buoyed by a win last night. I’m upbeat enough to wear that sexy black-red Delhi Daredevils T circa 250 B.C.  Moving in with a Viv Richards’ groove, I meet my late morning instructor, Ravi – he is perceptive enough to ask me, “Aap Delhi Daredevils ko support kartein hain?” (You back DD?) My snide side is put on hold, replaced by a nod.

Ravi goes on to declare his love for CSK. Ravi and I pose for a photograph. I inform him of a possible piece on his love for CSK. Previously Ravi led me to write on Che Pujara.

I now know if I’m to write more on cricket, I have to train more with Ravi. His shallow insights into cricket stir my somewhat even shallower ones.

Today is chest-day. I’m on the butterfly gig now. Ravi has reduced my efforts on the first two sets by pitching in on the weights. On the third set which is by far the toughest, I’m unaided – Ravi takes flight on an MS Dhoni-ramble. “Mai Dhoni ko bahut like karta hoon…Dhoni jo hai….Dhoni ki ek baat…”

Could he be Sakshi Dhoni in disguise?

Ravi hasn’t been to the Kotla this IPL. There just aren’t so many free tickets floating around this season. Two came my way for Delhi’s game against Mumbai.

Too young for commitment

After a lunch-for-champions, 12 year old Vasu and I, many years’ old, were dropped just shy of the Kotla. Vasu, resplendent in a cap, only he and the Mad Hatter could pull off, stood in a queue that snaked across the Great Wall of China. I felt good about dressing down – if you can’t dress like an Arab for day IPL games, dress like me (shorts, loose sleeveless T below a loose shirt), as for the ladies, check out Sakshi Dhoni’s wardrobe for the IPL games.

The girls behind us talked so much serious cricket I wanted to chat them up. But I was with Vasu, and settled on a more stoic Uncle demeanour instead. As for Vasu, he was minding his queues – and spotted an Aunty and her beti slide into the line. This bothered him and the girls, generalisations of Delhi-attitude were hurled. More intrusions, more generalisations.  Mother of a kid who resembled a bandaged Kumble craved leniency. “If you’re fit to watch an IPL game..” one of the righteous girls snapped.

It took an hour to make it to the thoughtlessly designed North West Stands – 2000 bucks to romance a pillar?

By the time Sehwag came on, I vacated my crummy seat to stand with the uncensored ground in view. Sehwag scored and scored and scored. I barely moved a heel, soaking in as much of Sehwag’s batting as I could in an IPL game. Going by most informed voices, Sehwag’s international career is over.  What do they know that they’re not telling us? Why can’t Sehwag make a comeback? I can’t help but think that Sehwag’s end, if indeed it is that, has more to do with reasons other than his lack of batting form. How else do you explain the finality?

And with this belief, I stood and stared at Sehwag, each run, each move. Who knows if there will be a next time? 

Who ripped into my Viru?

While Sachin returning to his mark at fine leg led to a wave of Sachin! Sachin! hysterics, it took coaxing from the DJ to nudge the crowd into a short spurt of Viru! Viru! Think I joined in. At least I hope I did. Did Aarti Sehwag join in? What am I driving at – am I Aarti Sehwag in disguise? Ha, guess all fans have this recurring moment when they believe they love that one player more than anybody else. 

I know this girl on twitter, @Dravidoholic (Foram), and I’m quite sure she’d like to think of herself as Mrs Dravid. She had this dream: she’s dying and her last wish was to die in Dravid’s arms, which she does -

“I speak, "I knew you would come to me. You havealways been mine and I have always been your follower. Today, when I see you, Iwant to tell how much I love you. You mean the world to me and nothing elsematters. I have realized that this love is the probably the most genuine kind.”

I can’t say if Instructor Ravi has been dreaming of Dhoni but Sehwag hasn’t visited my bedside yet. A stray thought: what will become of us if we guys get serious about women’s cricket? 

Foram with her Lord and Master

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In an IPL Commentator's bedroom-

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Saving Public Sreesanth

Am I the only one backing Sreesanth for his twitter outburst? And what's with social media and the IPL? A chat on NDTV.

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We didn't get no IPL contracts

IPL 6: like it or lump it - 3 cricket bloggers chat, somewhat bitterly, obviously they got no IPL contracts.

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Jesse Ryder's on the storm

It took an attack on Jesse Ryder for me to figure out how much I love the man's rock 'n roll ways and his cricket. Here's to you, Jesse, cheers boss!

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Beats talking about India's cricket problems

What's with the Aussies? Are the Indians getting to them - are they getting to themselves? Watch Bored Member Gaurav Sethi talk Naked Cricket with Kashish and Nishant Joshi. 

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Shane Watson's Future

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Poor Mickey Arthur

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Che Pujara is the new Che Pujara

My gym instructor, Ravi, makes small cricket talk. Today, out of nowhere he got on to match fixing. I got on to Zulqarain Haider. His tangent took to naming big names in Indian cricket – surely these guys don’t fix? According to him only chota players fix.

I was unbothered, getting a reverse-grip on my triceps pushdown. Then he took Pujara’s name. Along with Dravid’s. Called them alike, slow players. I had just finished my set. I barked at him. No, he had not watched Pujara’s double. He got a mouthful from me – on how fast Che scores, his scoring areas, his strokes. Ravi was unfazed.

I think he believes what he’s been made to believe – that Cheteshwar Pujara is the new Rahul Dravid. And because he only checks facebook on his phone there’s very little likelihood that he will watch that Che double.

This one generalisation has done Che more harm than good. If you’re a Dravid-fanboy then this is heresy. If you’re a Dravid-baiter then Che is a slowpoke. If you’re too much of a realist, then it’s always, “let’s see how he plays overseas”.

If you are like me, something of a Dravid-Che fan boy, their uniqueness and sameness both meet with a tight embrace.

Must admit I’ve found the comparison, however flawed, not without basis. Both are No. 3 Test batsmen – and I reckon, no matter what Che does from here, he will always be remembered as just that. And because he was Dravid’s successor, and so far a more than able one at that, the lazy comparison will continue.

Both are studious in play, thoughtful in comment, model sportspersons it seems. Both appear to have always been married. Both are January born. Both have played for RCB. Yeah, yeah, this can go on and on.

Both will never get their due. Both will have to contend with far glossier cricketers. In spite of everything both will never be remembered as limited overs’ players.

But you can’t cut the commentary of an archived Dravid innings and paste it on Che’s batting. They both love the onside but play their shots in your mind’s eye and you know they’re acutely different. For Dravid it was that scoop over midwicket, for Che it’s played down, from middle or even off sometimes, into the ground, squarer.

Very early days for Che, but going by his past few innings, his strike rate will be on the up. In his last double he was striking at 60, in his first he was at 53, his career strike rate is 50.59 from 11 Tests, 18 innings. Dravid’s was 42.51. Do you know what Kohli’s is – 45.96 from 16 Tests, 27 innings. Even IPL wonder-boy Murali Vijay’s is at 48.17.

But how we love to typecast our players. Just because Che is not an IPL poster-boy he’s not a quick gun like Vijay. The misconceptions seep through cracks in dementia ridden commentary. They’re said again and again till Ravi-instructor is convinced Che is a slowpoke like Dravid.

If Ravi listens to them long enough he will be convinced that he has limited shot options – never mind he is one of the few Indian Test bats who can slap a six over square leg. He may have occasionally died by the pull but how many know he breathes life into that shot?

Leave ball after ball after ball, yet another limitation, as is using your feet to the spinners, square cutting latitudes, full faced longitudes, and the equatorial swat – this man is geographic in his short-play, but it will take a foreigner yet again for us Indians to take notice.

Are we deliberately naive or myopic out of neglect? It took a while for the masters in the box to realise Umesh Yadav’s worth and going by experience, they’re working meticulously on Che too.

This man has a beard. Which disappears for the presentation. He speaks in double entendre without knowing it. Straight faced and smiling, here’s a treasure, committed to cricket, like Sunny once was when he was out of the box.

I just check the twitter feed for Pujara and here’s what I read:  Last few matches have proved that #pujara is todays #dravid #formmeirehnabhai

I prefer this tweet by @paperstargirl

Cheteshwar Pujara is the new Cheteshwar Pujara.
— Nicole S. (@paperstargirl) November 16, 2012

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What’s Vijay got that Rahane doesn’t?

Once I’m done with the first ball of the Test, the following days’ play meander into a maze of random starts. 

The second day’s play in Hyderabad was a Saturday. I crashed somewhere between the middle of Friday and Saturday setting my phone on the scorecard.

Once up, I stirred my phone awake: India was 26/1. I hoped it wasn’t Sehwag. It was Sehwag.

Over four years’ back when Murali Vijay made his Test debut he wasn’t a beard-buff but still very adept at flattery. 30s, 40s, a double digit score with the tease of a triple, that’s how much promise there was. His workstation was the V; till nature rushed him back with a bedwetter of a shot. It was like Mozart building up to a crescendo by Milli Vanilli

I can’t say if Vijay gave up on himself but I recall a home ODI series against New Zealand where he hung around waiting for the midnight bus. Vijay appeared to be low on Bhajji-confidence.

Nearly two years’ later Murali Vijay returns to the Test side, picked to play and open instead of Ajinkya Rahane (the next big thing in warming benches after Manoj Tiwary)

Rahane and Vijay have played a similar number of first class games – the difference between their batting averages is 14. Rahane has 22 100s compared to Vijay’s 12. There’s more than four years between the two.

Vijay has now played 14 Tests to none by Rahane. Rahane has played 22 ODIs to Vijay’s 16, neither player has made a mark, averages of 25 and 18, strike rates of 73 and 62. 

Throughout this Test I was made to believe Murali Vijay had cramped down on his natural explosive style. 

His T20 International strike rate is less than a 100. So I’m guessing they’re going by his two 100s in the IPL, and this is not the Border Gavaskar series but yet another local tournament. 

I’m convinced Vijay will return to both the ODI and T20 squads. I fear for Rahane as I once did for Tiwary.

What gives certain players in Indian cricket the entitlement to stroll from one format to the other while less privileged ones are eased out from the team, and then somewhat nonchalantly off the bench?

Murali Vijay reaches his 100. Appointed Head Peon, India Cements. #IndvsAus
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) March 3, 2013

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