Fake One down Player

Breaking news: Jatman is on his way back

BCC! is privy to a press statement the “Fake One down Player” will read out (alone) tomorrow morning.

This is what we have for you…

“I am sure the irresponsible Indian media will write and show nonsense tomorrow. And it will keep repeating it again and again.

What else do they know?

They will say I put so much of responsibility on a senior player’s shoulder that it gave up.

What should I say??

It was an old shoulder, a bald shoulder. Let it go and I will still win the cup…

I neither want to rehearse another speech (my friends would write for me) nor do I want to lead another procession down the press room (bunch of jokers they).

I am sure the Indian cricket fan is supporting me and would do so till I bring the cup back home.

Jatman is (was) a valuable asset to the team, his loss is irreplaceable unless it is a wicketkeeper who replaces him (luckily it is and I can be a captain, a captain alone!!).

The only problem I had with Jatman was that he got out too soon, which meant too many dot balls for me to play. I am sure he will shoulder more responsibility when he gets his shoulder back and occupies the crease for at least 9 overs. That would also give me enough opportunities to remain not out and attain a higher average.

PS: Dilliwalon, never say “Teri Maki (1), Jatman ko (2) vaapas bej diya”. I would put an “and” between the two (I have marked those two for your reference) and get you guys into trouble. Mind it !! ”