Bored Members - Guests | Media | White Bored | Interview | Bored Anthem - Songs | Boredwaani | Cartoons | Facebook | Twitter | Login

Rahul Dravid's unnatural innings.

by Naked Cricket

When Dravid was about to walk in at the fall of Gambhir’s wicket, he was aloof, still brooding, understandably, about being dropped from the one day side.

He put aside the Encyclopaedia Cricketanica, all 10 volumes, and wearily started to walk down the aisle like a jaded bride. At exactly that point, Sachin, bless him, said the magic words, “Rahul, I forgive you for declaring on me”

A weight, all ten volumes, were removed. Dravid ran down the aisle like a horny bride. He had runs, loads of sexy runs on his mind. And thoughts of a 400 something partnership with his darling, Jatman.

Today was the day. But Jatman didn’t shake a leg, and he was left all alone. At exactly that point, Sachin, bless him, said the magic words, “Rahul, I forgive you for GC”

The skies cleared, and the sun shone on Dravid’s helmet. But when within six balls both Sachin and Laxman deserted him, and the upstart Yuvraj joined him, it was all over.

He knew, now Yuvraj would crack dirty Punjabi jokes about Jammy – like “yeh bat Jammy nahin” and laugh wildly and shove his fists up his, nevermind. But instead, Yuvi came with some urgent news, “Just play your unnatural game, and you will make the 2011 World Cup”

And then you saw what happened. Dravid was just not himself. He was a man on someone else’s mission. He scored so fast, even the electronic scoreboard, that takes it easy when RD appears, was jerked out of limbo.

But then Yuvi went. And Dravid’s heart sank. It’s bad enough standing next to him at slip, and now to bat with him.

At 157/5 India was still not out of Red Riding Hood’s woods. There was a wolf gang waiting, and Dravid had to play Amadeus.

Enter a masterstroke. MS with RD in mid pitch conference –“ Rahul, Gary and I have discussed with Cheeka and the selectors, and we are in total agreement that your form picks you for the twenty20 World Cup next year. Just continue to play your unnatural game”

Dravid finished the day at 177. If he progresses further, you can put it down to an apology from an uncertain Dilip Vengsarkar.


Also on Dravid: Not that funny

31 comments:

Sujan Rao (sanath189) said...

ha ha ! Fantastic writing NC.

Looks like you're in tremendous form like Jammy.

Jamey Raho :)

Rohit said...

'There was a wolf gang waiting, and Dravid had to play Amadeus' Champagne stuff!! Needed wiki to get it though!
However if Samaraweera gets a hundred as well, this knock will be devalued...

Anonymous said...

An "unnatural" post.When every two-bit blogger (psuedo-journo) writes condescendingly on Dravid....

Megha said...

So NC, was it really SRT et al forgiving RD for all that stuff or was it you actually, with every 4 he hit?

Nathan said...

Amazing stuff yesterday; Dravid just crushed the hopes of Sri Lankans everywhere I think ;)

Its a scary batting lineup when you get cylinders firing at both ends!

Sujan Rao (sanath189) said...

@Rohit, Im sure my Lions wont be the same old Lions who visited India 4 yrs back, sure we're gonna give a fight !

But sad the way Murali's fading.He has lost some power in his wrist. He is wearing out and considering his workload in the past you cant be too surprised.

Nathan said...

Very true, Sujan. Regrettably, I think he's peaked, and it is now a question of how far he wants to let it go before he pulls the pin.

Mahek said...

His elbow is also giving in I guess.

Sujan Rao (sanath189) said...

He's got another test series to play vs West Indies at home. That'll be the last.

Sad end to the career of the Greatest ever spinner cricket has ever seen.

KishyCool said...

I don't know why you people give Sachin "The f***ker" such importance. Sachin is an useless player, never scores against quality bowling, and makes a lot of sqeaking when he scores on batting feather beds against weak attacks. In the last two decades, it is Dravid and Laxman who saved INdia every time in crisis. Who the f***ker is Sachin to forgive Dravid ? It is the selfish f***king Sachin who made a lot of noise on declaring. He proved that he is truly selfish and does not think about team.

Nathan said...

Well, shit...

Not the sort of start Dravid was looking for? Awesome innings yesterday though

pRAFs said...

Kishy,
if you're just trying to prove you're cool... get the fuck lost.

if you dislike sachin its your POV, but call him useless and i'll hunt your ass down and make sure it gets a good whoopin.

Do you even understand cricket?

pRAFs said...

and yeah
all hail RD.
WC 2011 beckons sir.

straight point said...

cracket writing again nc...

tho i second megha... that more than sachin you let the ghost out of your chest... :)

Mahek said...

People talking big on the internet. That's original. Goes for both Kishy and Prafs :)

Nathan said...

They're bowling 13x kph, sigh. I know slowing up for more control is a good thing (cf. Brett Lee) but come on, 140s at least?

NISHANT NISCHAL said...

To all the Sachin blogger fans-

Who can forget the 1999 World Cup, when he played even though his father passed away midway through the tournament? He took a break to attend the funeral and returned quickly to score a century, then looked up to the skies to seek his father's blessings. It was a very touching and emotional moment for every Indian. The poignancy of that moment has stayed in the minds of all who watched that knock. I am no exception.


Stand up and cheer for the little master as World celebrates 20 years of his International career.

Visit the following links----->


http://nishantnischal.blogspot.com/2009/11/sachin-tendulkars-20-years-in.html

http://nischal.co.nr

Love- Nishant Nischal.

Naked Cricket said...

Thanks a ton Sujan. Looks like I won't add to my tally today.

Naked Cricket said...

Rohit, yeah, that's quite a twister.

The game could be called either way before Samaraweera - Dilshan will be the key.

Naked Cricket said...

Take that as a complement, thanks Anon.

Naked Cricket said...

Megha, me, no way. And don't get all serious about Dravid, where's yr sense of humour?

Naked Cricket said...

Hi Nathan, he did yesterday. But adding another 50 min would have sealed it.

Sujan, he'll come around. Give him a 4th-5th day pitch, some runs, it'll be under pressure.

Naked Cricket said...

Hi Kishycool, in a strange way, you too swear by Sachin.

Som said...

NC, cracker of a post! People in Sivakasi could put it in a packet and sell it next Diwali. Best RD piece in a long time.

Naked Cricket said...

SP, Som, thanks guys.

Nathan, 130s quick, what I saw was mid 120s.

pRAFs said...

mahek,
don't mind me man, i'm a nut.
it was just infuriating to see something like that written about sachin.
you tube seems to have gotten to me :)

Nathan said...

NC,

Sigh...

Megha said...

Jeez NC, seems like I'm getting quite a reputation for bashing Dravid-bashers..First Leela, now you. Gotta start using a lot more smileys and winks and just lay down low for a while, methinks!

Naked Cricket said...

Megha, Not a basher, I've been backing him even before he started playing.

Megha said...

uhmm...and my first comment was meant to be in good humour :) ..with generous amounts of ;-) and :P

Anonymous said...

sorry to write this. but i didn't enjoyed it much. it seem you are trying to make fun of dravid like he can't bat faster.