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Nobody calls me Kaifu anymore

by Gaurav Sethi

There was a time I used to finish games. Now I just finish them. Never before have I spoken in italics, but that’s my embarrassing IPL form. The umpires make it worse – if I’m lucky, they give me out the first time. But the arthritis, what can I say – my legs are all over in a heap, they feel like wood – and mostly I mistake my left leg for my bat, I place front foot forward instead of bat. I wish I was batting with two bats and one right leg.

Now that I have been dropped, it can’t get worse – they can’t send me back to India. But I’m open to being sent back to South Africa. Hear me talk, I sound like a leech. Sucking free money of my heart broken franchise owners – Zinta had high hopes on me, but what can you say, she had high hopes on Yuvi.

After all this, my bank manager is quite happy – he says, I should target the trading period and work on my net form and ask opposition coaches to review me there. That is not easy. I have made some videos and am circulating them – one of them landed in the wrong hands, Moody’s – he kept asking me, whose batting body I had morphed my head into. One of the crude Punjabi players joked that our games should be played in the nets, then both Yuvi and I will fire. Now, looks like they will fire us.

Loss of form makes me repeat, makes me repeat…next time I want to play for a franchise whose home ground will be Lord’s. It will also help if we are set a target, 326 will be a good one to chase. I’m saying this because coaches have always told me, think positive, think about the good times.


Unknown said...

Aw, come on, he's been in great form in domestic cricket - T20 just isn't his game!

Shridhar Jaju said...

Kaif is not a No. 7 player - the way he was used for India.

If you give him time on the crease, he can construct a good ODI - or - Test innings. T20s, as Rishabh said, is not his cup of tea!

Gaurav Sethi said...

Rishabh, you know that doesn't count for much - look at Che, he doesn't even play all KKR games, who's gonna remember him after this IPL?

Unknown said...

Well yeah, what I meant by "T20 just isn't his game" is that he shouldn't even be here! Pujara too, though it's great to see Manoj Tiwary doing well.

Sujan Rao said...

Agree with Rishab, He never looked like a T20 material. I still wished he could've made it somehow to ODI team. He was a great fielder those days and he still is..

Anil Singh said...

Right said NC, he vanished out of the boundary faster than a ball hit for a six.