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At Salman Butt’s Ice Cream Parlour

by Gaurav Sethi

In the finest tradition of the no-balls there is an ice cream that isn’t an ice cream – want a scoop, just ask for “no scoop”. Want a double scoop, simple, say no, no scoop. You will get two cones or cups, but no scoops.

Asif’s flavours – Fix your own sundae, Opium of the masses (Vanilla), Coke Shoke, Droopy eyed decadence. All available in no scoop and customs.

Aamer’s flavours– Innocent Eye Candy, Glider Godiva, I don’t know what I did last summer (all-in-one), and on popular demand, Swinging Strawberry, and the acquired taste of Swings more ways than one (Shakes). All available in no scoop.

Mazhar Majeed's flavours– Things that make you go MM, I have 3 players (triple sundae), I have more players (ice cream buffet). All available in no scoop. For MM’s offerings, you are filmed on a sofa.

News of the world's flavours – In bad taste (vomit flavor), Hidden pleasures (surprise flavours), NOTW Darling (sleazy adult offering). All available in no scoop.

Salman Butt's flavours – English speaking (talking ice cream), Salman Pink Fishy Strawberry, ‘X’ Captain’s unknown flavours. All available in no scoop

Ijaz Butt's flavours – Mischief Mango, Senile Strawberry, Leech Lychee. All available in no scoop

Kamran Akmal's flavours – Whatever falls on the floor.

Shahid Bhai's Flavours - Uncertain availabilty

MoYo's flavours: Discontinued after traces of facial hair were found.

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