World Cup XV - why wait till tomorrow?

The World Cup might be weeks away with plenty of ODIs in the intl calendar still to be finished, but the ICC in their infinite wisdom wants the teams to announce their final XV next week. Clearly having worked their magic with the bungled FUDRS, ensured that all grounds will have patented designer roads instead of pitches, and designed a format that lasts longer than the IPL (we might have made that last bit up), the final squads need some special attention.

This edition more than anything else will be remembered as the WC where batsmen went medieval on bowlers. While in the past, a Lanka run through a Kandy shop was an exception, par scores of 325 and teams chasing down 350+ (goodbye England!) more than once will be the norm. India don’t have much a choice but select a lineup that is loaded on batsmen and viagra.

Openers: There are no ifs and butts…the baap-beta combo of Sachin and Sehwag gives India the edge. Given his recent form, Sehwag needs to chill. Sachin meanwhile has the license to milk.

Teesra: India have tried Irfan, Raina, Nohit, Uthappa and even Dhoni as a floater at the 3 spot but the only one that is not a Joker is Gotham City. Depending on the match situation (and whether Sachin is still around) his role will be equal measures carefree Bruce Wayne and clinical Batman.

Middlemen: This is where India have can shuffle the deck and each time land a trump card. Virat has the runs and temperament to cement a spot. Yuvi is the Oxford definition of a flat track bully and with Raina will use the crowd for target practice. Pathan is the probably the biggest hitter in the team and will enjoy the shorter grounds and slower wickets. Nohit needs more runs than shots of JD. More importantly he needs to prepare for IPLchar (Go Mumbai Indians!).

Keeper: If the selectors waste a spot on a backup keeper, call in the Mossad hit squad. Or get them to face Dale Steyn without protection.

Slow Arm Filth: India has the most spinners this side of Cricket Australia. There is value in Yuvi’s pie chucking and Raina, Pathan and Viru can be handy as well. They will also get us more wkts than Twatajhan. Don’t think there is much room for another specialist spinner here but if needed Ojha should get the nod over Ashwin. Both are complete muppets with the bat and playing either at the expense of Pathan seems a waste.

Medium Fast Bowlers: Every option in our pop gun attack is a liability: Zak with his anytime, anywhere injuries, PK Dubey with his slow yorkers and even slower bouncers, Ishant and his hair (only ever works for Pak cricketers) and Sreesanth…well…being Sreesanth. India really can’t get go much wrong (or right) with any combination but Nehra should get a look in.

Final XV: Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir, Virat, Yuvi, Raina, Pathan, Dhoni ©, Harbhajan, Zak, Sreesanth, Nehra, PK, Ojha, Nohit.

X factor: A chanceless knock from Yusuf Pathan will be the gamechanger for India. But has he wasted that innings already on NZ?

Cup Ka Mujrim: IPL?

by Sunny
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