Bored Members - Guests | Media | White Bored | Interview | Bored Anthem - Songs | Boredwaani | Cartoons | Facebook | Twitter | Login

Where is match-fixing when you need it

by Gaurav Sethi

Today, India lost its second consecutive 2-day game. The last one wasn’t telecast, and we were called Indians and not India. They were not called England, instead, something long and wiry like Northamptonshire. It sounded like a fair and fun. You lose two day games, they are meant to be lost, especially if you want to shove four innings in, and go on the basis of first innings’ lead.

That sort of thing happens in the Ranji, and nobody gives a fuck for that. Also, India, no, the Indians went past 300 in that match. India’s opener for the first two tests, with no IPL or marketing future scored a hundred (113/160, 18 4s) at one down. He was made to retire hurt.

This player is not playing in the third test.

A few weeks before this series started, on a whim, I was overcome with this brazen fucking desire to get my ass over at the Oval. As I didn’t push too hard for accreditation or a corporate box, that eventually fell through. In my delirious state, at that moment, I was sucked by my desire to see the trophy being lifted. For me, it was going to be another Mohali-vs-Aus indulgence. Only this would’ve meant pricey air tickets, and worse, putting up with the pompous Poms at close range. I would’ve shacked with my cousin who’s shacked with a Pathan from Yorkshire.

I would be spreading like our batting.

Here I am in Delhi, with whiskey, scorn, writing, purging, working at feeling better.

And the boys are out there, in a foreign place, far from ghar ka khanna, far from their mummies.

Oh look, I pressed Ctrl Z, and it deleted some, and some more, about Mummies, and joint families, and I was going to keep Ctrl Zing but I didn’t. That would be like match fixing?

And I could just finish there, start-finish with the match fixing shit, be as thoughtless as this series, but it would also be lazy, again, like our thinking for this series.

Why not? Should you watch? Are you into S&M?

No comments: