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Ballad of the Belligerent Non-Retiree

by Bored Guest

Oh, I feel a sniggerin’ chuckle comin' up, a guffaw burstin' out
Ain't over for me at least darlin’, while you may twist n' shout
Givin’ up ain't so simple asshole, it's been my ass and life
Oh so you think I'll cut my balls off, just coz' the team's in strife?

<chorus >

Heidi-heidi-heidi-hi, Heidi-heidi-heidi-ho
So you think the time is nigh? So it's time for me to blow?

I am your precious national monument baby, I tend to last for life
Just gaze upon my pretty ass, lose thoughts of weildin' that knife
I am primo T-bone steak yo, I be the whipped cream on the top
Relishin’ is all your lazy ass gotto do, yet you moan for me to stop?


Heidi-heidi-heidi-hi, Heidi-heidi-heidi-ho
You think I dunno when to stop? Dunno when I friggin’ gotto go?

 This been just a lil' stutter honey, ain't worth a hue and cry
When we play back in our backyard, everyone's ass is bheja-fry
Overseas results are just a wee glitch, our glory be at home
When we nail their butts up sky high, and their mouths begin to foam


Heidi-heidi-heidi-hi, Heidi-heidi-heidi-ho
I can feel them home wins comin’, my badass game begin to flow

 Don’t ya know livelihood's a f**kin’ pain? Just makin' it itself a bitch?
Do you even have a job? Have ya ever felt the naggin' itch?
Why dontcha try n' make it big ya loser? Climb up the treacherous hill
Just unclench your rigid ass man, for f**k's sake swallow a chill pill?


Heidi-heidi-heidi-hi, Heidi-heidi-heidi-ho
Just watch me pout n' preen, just watch my golden ass glow

Now, I ain’t prone to abdication you imbecile, I've never been a quitter
I got a constitution of lead, not like your sorry chicken liver
Just coz you ain’t got no patience, ain’t packin a rigid spine
I am gonna fly the coop? So loooong before my time?


Heidi-heidi-heidi-hi, Heidi-heidi-heidi-ho
Just calm the f**k down, try suckin’  on your own big toe

I'm a smooth cat on steroids baby, and this be my life No. 9
Stop pokin’ your nose in my business, and it'll all be spit n' shine
I ain’t scrapin’ at the bottom, I got reserves built in my ass
Just wake me up, hand me my teeth and don't forget my balls of brass


Heidi-heidi-heidi-hi, Heidi-heidi-heidi-ho
Glory be to me, ya sorry a** sucker, just welcome me back to the show

By Sriram Dayanand
who blogs at Boundary Conditions and protects his tweets @sdayanand

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