Reasons why Viru won't play Holi.

It’s still unclear why Viru hasn’t been picked for the Asia Cup. While both the Board and Viru agree on injury and rest, their versions are poles apart.

Now it’s come to pass that Viru will not play Holi with the team. Why, what now?  While the first explanation from the selectors was that he’s been rested from the game of Holi, word doing the rounds is that he has indeed been dropped.  

While BCCI claims that Sehwag's balloon throwing arm is not 100%. Sehwag says he's allergic to colours.

Already Uthappa has been picked to play Holi instead of Sehwag. Sachin Tendulkar chose to play Holi with his family in Mumbai, so in all likelihood Uthappa’s pichkari partner will be Gambhir.

Gambhir himself is quite miffed, as the coveted job of filling pichkaris has been handed to Kohli.

Some conspiracy theorists claim there’s no need to look any further than the IPL next month. Delhi Daredevils have a new jingle, Viru will need at least four weeks to get one of his two left feet moving.  

Yet another crass explanation was he doesn't want to be a damp squib and play with MS, Raina, Ashwin, Jadeja and the CSK boys.

Viru’s friends say - He keeps laughing after Bhang. He keeps crying after Bhang. He keeps contradicting MS after Bhang.  He keeps running away with Gauti after Bhang.

Manoj Tiwary has decided against joining the team, even though there’s a seat on the bus reserved for him. Tiwary is staying back in Bengal, and will play Holi under Dada’s watchful eye.

In his preparation to play Holi with the team next year, Bhajji has started juggling balloons and pichkaris and fast colours simultaneously – some say his balloons can hurt when there aim is true as he inserts pebbles into them.  

Bhajji said as he has played Holi internationally, his fellow revellers try and stay out of his way, which is why, he rarely gets to hit anybody.

A word from MS – “I don’t know whether I’ll be playing Holi with the team in 2013, especially the longer version where we get Bhanged all day and hurl random strangers into swimming pools and feel each other with more lust than love”