Bored Members - Guests | Media | White Bored | Interview | Bored Anthem - Songs | Boredwaani | Cartoons | Facebook | Twitter | Login

Why India playing Sri Lanka on a loop is someone's idea of a sick joke

by Gaurav Sethi

An India versus Sri Lanka series is not scheduled. It doesn’t belong to a predetermined itinerary. It’s conjured out of thick air reeking with miscellaneous pollutants by a sundry bunch of Indian cricket babus. And when it takes place, as it does now, it packs an otherwise lean period and gives a channel some more ad spots to sell.
To sell these fatigued spots, especially that of the Test series, is possibly the greatest challenge that any India-Sri Lanka series knows.
As for the cricket, few watch it. The few that do would still know very few names in the Sri Lankan playing eleven. Perhaps, a good game within the game would be to catch random cricket fans on the street and ask them to name five players in the Sri Lankan playing eleven. Ok, four. Three?
There can be few better ways to promote India-Sri Lankan cricket than taking the mickey out of it - start by rebranding it - "the series nobody wants to watch". Just that will create more interest than the long-drawn out name which has sponsors stuck both ways. What is it called? Naturally I don’t remember. But surely someone on Twitter does. Apparently not.
Does Google? “India-based ITW Consulting, sports management company in association with Sri Lanka Cricket and Sony Pictures Networks India Private Limited, has announced Seagrams Royal Stag Cricket Gear and Servo Lubricants as the Title and Powered by on-ground partners of the India Tour of Sri Lanka Cricket Test Series 2017.”
But what is it called? (h/t @Dilliwasi) All in all, it reads as Seagram’s Royal Stag Mega Cricket Cup Powered by Servo.
Why isn’t it named after cricketers like the India-Australia series is called the Border Gavaskar trophy? Possibly because no cricketer in his right mind wants his name to be dragged into a charade of a series. Otherwise, this would’ve been a great opportunity to make it the Murali-Kumble series.
Also, it’s thanks to so much "spin" that these series continue to happen. Perhaps the most enduring memory from India-Sri Lanka matches is of Vinod Kambli in tears during that 1996 World Cup semi-finals, how about Kambli-Kaluwitharana series? So while the name can be prefixed and suffixed with all the sponsors, in between can be a swift KK?
But if they want to beef up the names, who better than India’s greatest tormentor - Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas. It would be befitting to call it the Seagram’s Royal Stag Mega Cricket WPUJ Chaminda Vaas Cup Powered by Servo.
As if this series wasn’t rough enough, there’s more – the return favour Test series in India this winter. Batting first and beating a battered Sri Lankan side wasn’t enough in less than three days, so let’s have them over, bat first and beat a battered homesick Sri Lankan side in less than two days.
As for away tours in testing conditions, they can wait, be abridged, and in no way challenge the juggernaut. The world’s No. 1 Test team must stay so, and for that to happen, the batsmen must score centuries, the bowlers must scalp five-fors, and for that to happen, they will do what they must do at all costs – play Sri Lanka, play Sri Lanka, play Sri Lanka, and play Bangladesh for relief. Yes, Australia and England and South Africa too, but only if we can host them.
But an India-Sri Lanka series isn’t all bad. It can be a holiday for some. Like discarded Test opener, Shikhar Dhawan, who was on holiday in Hong Kong, and continued to vacation in Galle and Kandy. 190 and 119, man of the series, that too without his moustache, what does that tell you? That next time India plays Sri Lanka, they might challenge themselves and all play clean shaven.
Then there was Hardik Pandya. So supremely Mad Max and a bolt out of the blue, you’d be forgiven if you missed his straight sixes. But if you preserved and watched this series, tied to a whipping post, salvation was at hand. Pandya video-gamed his way through a hapless bunch of zombies. So special was his innings, it belonged to another series. That he played it in Sri Lanka, against Sri Lanka, should not be held against him. He batted. He bowled. He even breezed his way to a distant ball to make it look easy like Sunday mornings.
India’s days of rest appeared to be many. They weren’t. They were a team on the ascent, just as Sri Lanka was on the decline.
It will be our misfortune to see these teams play each other again. But then the sponsors can’t put a gun to your head, so in all probability, you’ll give that return Test series a miss. 
Who knows, maybe you’ll only tune in when Hardik Pandya comes in to bat? Or join Shikhar Dhawan for another holiday in the middle?
Until then, it’ll be just another Test series nobody will watch.
And then they wonder why everyone keeps saying, “Test cricket is dying”. Guess you can take some of the people for a ride, some of the time, but you can’t take all the people for a ride, all of the time.
More so, when the ride makes them sick. I’m assuming people don’t want to hop on to a ride that makes them throw up.
Another branding idea, how about just calling it pu..

First published here

4 comments:

Quba Khan said...

Here we go with the Latest Govt jobs 2017 -2018 ( 3,18,200 Sarkari Naukri jobs openings. Government Jobs 2017-18: Get notification of all Government Jobs, Sarkari Naukri recruitment, bank jobs, State Govt jobs including SSSB, SSC, PSC, UPSC etc. Latest 10th 12th Pass Govt Jobs 2017 – 2018(62000 Sarkari) records.
Lest talk the latest 10th 12th Pass Govt Jobs 2017 – 2018(62000 Sarkari Vacancies Opening .... Latest Govt jobs 2017 -2018 ( 3,18,200 Sarkari Naukri jobs openings ). Sarkari Naukri 2017, सरकारी नौकरी, Government Jobs. Sarkari Naukri provide employment news of sarkari naukri 2017 for government jobs. Sarkari Naukri update latest job news for govt sector companies - 2017. Sarkari Naukri: Latest Govt Jobs, Sarkari Job, सरकारी ... - Amar Ujala Translate this pageबुधवार, 22 नवंबर 2017; +. सतीश धवन स्पेस सेंटर में टेक्नीशियन/ ड्राफ्ट्समैन के पद पर वैकेंसी • पॉलीटेक्निक के 89 स्टूडेंट्स. Sarkari Naukri in India 2017 | सरकारी नौकरी भारत में
Looking to get Sarkari Naukri? Check सरकारी नौकरी in India. Latest updates on 10000+ vacancies opportunity. You can apply online or offline. Upcoming Government Jobs 2018 ( 2,77000 Sarkari Naukri Opening). Jump to Jharkhand Staff Selection Commission recruitment 2017 - HP Police Recruitment 2017 – 1073 ... Govt Jobs (Sarkari Naukri 2018). Sarkari Naukri in Rajasthan Govt Jobs in Rajasthan Vacancy 2017. Latest Government Jobs in Rajasthan 2017 For Sarkari Naukri in Rajasthan and Current Vacancy in Jaipur, Udaipur, Jodhpur, Bikaner. Sarkari Naukri 2018 सरकारी नौकरी Sarkari Jobs Naukari. Sarkari Naukri Daily is Top Sarkari Job Portal and sarkari naukri 2017 for Banking, Railway Naukari, Public Sector, Research Sarkari Naukri 2018 in India. ... Top Current Affairs For Sarkari Naukri Preparation 22 November 2017 • Latest Government Jobs 2018-2019 | THE SARKARI NAUKRI. Oct 18, 2016 - We have listed here the latest Sarkari Naukri / Government Jobs with Number ... BPSC, Assistant Engineer, 1345 posts, 06.12.2017, Click Here. Police Jobs 2018 | THE SARKARI NAUKRI. Chhattisgarh Police Recruitment 2017 – 2976 posts of Constable (GD) and ... Here we have listed Jobs / Sarkari Naukri in Police Department of various Indian

sarkari job said...

Awesome post share I say thanks to share this impressive post.Keep it.
sarkari result
sarkari job

sarkari job said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sarkarijob said...

It is very helpful blog thanks for share
sarkarijob
sarkari job