Dirty Desi Jokes via Virat and Rohit.

Is that the glue that binds them?

As I snuck into the lane that led to the Eastern entry of the Kotla, two ‘brothers in arms’ caught my eye: Virat and Rohit. Numbers 18 and 45. They jostled their way, with an elephant sway. My mind drifted to all that’s been presumed about Virat-Rohit.

Later that day, in the India-Afghanistan match, after Ishan Kishan was dismissed, Kohli walked in, to the usual delirium. In the centre, he congratulated Rohit on his century. It was noticed and documented. 

Elsewhere, I sat with school friends of 13 years. Three of them, another three years in college. This was our first cricket match together. 

Earlier KV had reached out, asking if I had tickets for the Afghanistan match. He did. We found ourselves sitting amongst the inappropriate columns of the Arun Jaitley stadium – eyesores that obscure the ground from a full view. 

While I wasn’t keen to be at the Kotla that day, the pull of watching with school mates clinched it. Ajay, who I hadn’t seen in decades, was going to be there. I had a distinct memory that he laughed at my dirty jokes in school. 

Did Rohit and Virat laugh at each other’s dirty jokes? Sometimes, the fact that you can share a dirty joke with someone can be a deep form of bonding. 

Having watched Virat and Rohit, for years, they do both have this way with language – and the joke. Their humour may not be similar but it seems rather obvious that they both like to let rip. And don’t hold back when letting the youngsters know what they feel. 

Rohit asking Pujara to run has been well documented. As has Virat giving it to all and sundry. Virat it appears is a compulsive prankster; with his ‘Dilli tadka’. 

Delhi and Mumbai. The other narrative with Virat and Rohit. One that slides in often. That did when the captaincy changed hands. 

All this can go straight out of the window if you’re focused to win matches. Mark Taylor and Shane Warne. Did they share dirty jokes? Taylor’s nickname Tubby, is another school friend. He and I spent years talking ‘dirty cricket’, often impersonating Saba Karim and Maninder Singh’s commentary stints – that started with, “Kehna padega Saba” and went where I cannot say. The glue was shared joy for cricket and talking about it in a no-holds barred way. Tubby was prone to impersonating Imran Khan, talking about his then wife Jemima. 

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After two relatively easy wins in two matches, the demands of an India-Pak encounter round the corner, the hosts will need plenty of humour to keep them going. 

Quite a few are playing their first World Cup - SA on song, Kiwis on the kill, await them. 

To lighten up the mood, to keep it real, Virat and Rohit may need to draw on their stash of dirty jokes. 

 

Who knows, maybe coach Dravid too could pitch in with some of his impersonations. It’s a once-in-a-4-year World Cup – the real deal. At home. It’s been 12 years since the last win. Nobody needs reminding but there will be. This team needs all the levity from experienced hands. 

By now we all know, cricket has become a desi sport. And right now, they don’t get more desi than Virat and Rohit – both are well understood by their mates, who are quite desi themselves. India vs Pakistan. Let the desi games begin. In good desi humour, obviously. Everyone will understand. 

However plausible this may sound, some of it is a work of fiction. Some of it however, is not. 

World Cup dirty jokes at the Kotla – when exiting the entry gates of the ground, the ticket reader must read your ticket again to allow you to exit. The ticket readers do not work. To exit, you have to jump over the exit gate, like a horse.