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Showing posts with label Ashish Nehra. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ashish Nehra. Show all posts
When did we learn to laugh with Ashish Nehra and not at him?
Ashish
Nehra is a peep into our lives, what we were two decades back, what we became -
as he faltered, as he rose again, as he fell, as he rose again, as he laughed,
how we mocked, how we refused to forgive, how we forgot about him, how we
laughed when he returned, how we were amazed when he bowled well.
We are all
complicit. We all Tweeted. Even before Twitter.
Ashish
Nehra, much like a younger Anil Kumble, is the reason we rag in colleges. Why
we react to a person’s physical attributes. Call him names, much, much before
an old, cool friend of his adds a “Ji” to his name. And the networks pick it up
and parrot it. And we, we for a few days, nay, a few hours, forget about those
memories, and forgive ourselves conveniently, and show him some respect.
But Ashish
Nehra is a funny guy. He refuses to forgive himself. Or at least it would seem
so. He hasn’t become someone else. He has remained Nehra. He is still that AHSH-EEESH.
That gawky, funny guy, who refused to fit in.
He’s way
cooler than us. He’s way funnier than us. He refuses to be part of any club
that will have him. He is, in a warped, funny way, a legend, without really
being a cricket legend. He is a life legend. A survival kit. A guy you can almost
expect to sing the parody, “Like a surgeon” to mock his 12 surgeries. Our own
guy from the early Tim Burton films when they were funny, original,
disrespectful and weird.
Nobody does
weird better in Indian cricket than Ashish Nehra. Possibly because nobody who
does weird survives – look what happened to Kambli and Sreesanth. Life mocked
them, we mocked them, hell, they even mocked themselves. One was snubbed by
life, the other slapped.
As for
Ashish Nehra, he doesn’t whine, so while his 12 surgeries and Jimmy
Amarnath-like comebacks are part of folklore, they didn’t define him. Unlike
his more famous buddy, Sehwag, who was unable to choose his farewell from
cricket, Nehra did.
He
announced one fine day, that the Delhi T20 against New Zealand will be his last
cricket match. No, not just international, but last match. No IPL for him,
unlike so many greats before him. Did Nehra just kick a few million bucks in
the ass? Who does that?
Ashish
Nehra does. Nehra does what you cannot even fathom. Ask for the ball. Ask for
the ball to bowl the last over in a chase that has sneaked up so close,
Pakistan can taste the korma, and are dancing in aisles of Sharjah. Never mind
that there may not have been any such chase in Sharjah, the Nehra story is
nothing without embellishment.
We
embellish it. He embellishes it. With sauces, words, hyperbole. And when it is
cooked, hot to be served, we collectively draw our knives and carve both Nehra
and his story out.
We start to
laugh at his teeth. Oh, how we love to
laugh at his teeth. And how he lost us that last match by screwing up the last
over and went into hiding after that. We make cartoons of him, mocking him. I
made a cartoon too. When I would draw. Draw knives at Nehra. Not remember him
as the coolest thing that happened to India cricket, even if it was just for
one night.
 |
|
“hehe...you got the wrong guy...I'm not this Nehra guy you keep calling me” |
My
favourite Nehra memory for a long time was him ripping into a leg of chicken in
the dressing room – the prying cameras caught him in the act. You will never
see Sachin or Dravid eat, maybe sip water or walk on it, but never rip into a
bone. Nehra, a long, long time back, was privileged to be caught in the act of
food porn on television.
But either
side of that leg of chicken, I was forever amazed that an Indian bowler could
bowl that beautiful length – that perfect short-of-a-length length. That length
that pitched where a ball must pitch, and pull the batsman up like a puppet,
ball after ball.
And it was
like a stick-figure was bowling it. There, I couldn’t help myself, even in
praise, I had to make a cartoonish comparison.
I haven’t
seen Ashish Nehra for a long time. I’m told he’s been training where I train,
in Siri Fort. But have I even seen it? With Nehra you never know. Your memories
are either much more or much less than they really are. Your Nehra stories will
soon become your own extractions. Whether he won or lost that match is entirely
up to you.
On 1st
November, 2017, Ashish Nehra was a match winner, with both the ball and his
mouth. While with ball, it was short of length, with the mouth, it was anything
but that.
When wished
a happy retirement by the much ridiculed Manjrekar, Nehra snapped, “I’m always
happy”.
For once,
there were no Nehra-teeth jokes. The goalpost had long shifted to Sanjay Manjrekar.
First published here
First published here
When Star Sports reduced Dhoni to a hashtag
First, it was in the build-up – the match was being hyped-up as the last match that MS Dhoni was captain – come again, captain of what, Team India? This was not the Indian team, this was India A. And this was not an international match, this was an inconsequential practice match. The type of matches where batsmen retire out (euphemism for declare their innings, so someone else can have a go).
Which is what happened when Ambati Rayudu declared his innings at 100 in the 41st over so those that had come to see Dhoni could see Dhoni.
All this is great, and there is a strong sense that we might be seeing the last of Dhoni, not just skippering the team in blue, but for the last time in blue on Indian soil – at least for a long, long time. Who knows if there will be a next time after this series.
You can sense some of Star Sports’ keenness in milking MSD’s captaincy for all its worth. But to do so all in one game, with their panel of commentators rambling from start-to-finish about all their incoherent, same-old, yes, those very, heard it a thousand time before memories, was an assault on the ears.
It was as if the broadcasters’ brief to the commentators was: “Remember how you used to shamelessly plug sponsors in the IPL, replace the sponsors with MSD – yeah, just like you would go right over the top with the Yes Bank Maximums, you go at it about Dhoni…build MS Dhoni up like you would build the Martui Vitara Brezza last season… make it sound like the greatest thing ever, think you can do that? Good. And don’t shy away from repetition, that you never have LS, why would you now?”
By doing all this, the commentators and the broadcasters have done MSD a huge disservice. The crowds had packed in, they’d made it to a practice match that few, if any, turn up for. The action, Dhoni’s presence, when he walked out to bat, all spoke for itself.
All eyes were on Dhoni. It brought back memories, more of his mannerisms, more of how, each one of us remember him, each in our own unique way. Not tutored by Star Sports’ propaganda mouthpieces to tell us about 2007, 2011, Champions Trophy, Joginder Sharma, Kenya, again and again, and again.
We were there too. By rambling on and on about MSD, from the start of the match, they compelled us to switch off – to disconnect with not just the match but with MSD, and what could have been something special in its own way, even if was just a practice match.
But they did not relent. They rambled. If there were pauses, it was only when Saqlain Mushtaq or Ashish Nehra were interviewed. While Saqlain spoke of his respect for MSD, rating him amongst his top three captains, after Imran Khan and Wasim Akram, he also talked about how it seemed like it was an India-Pakistan match because of the atmosphere.
After Saqlain’s breather, the mute option had to be applied again.
Then Ashish Nehra, when compelled to mention his favourite MSD moment (or something like that) was nonchalantly dismissive as only he can be – in the few bytes he gave Star Sports, he pretty much rubbished everything that everyone had been going on and on about Dhoni.
For Nehra, it wasn’t the 2007 or 2011 or Champions Trophy memories. For, as Nehra admitted, he knew Dhoni differently – they had both played for India, and it was obvious there was something more private, something more personal, that Nehra held close about Dhoni. He, however, did not reveal what it was.
At that time, a much younger Nehra abusing Dhoni behind the stumps, flashed in front of my eyes. Nehra didn’t mention what it was, his memory wasn’t part of Star Sports #CaptainsLegacy or #CaptainCool package.
It was his. Just like yours and mine - both have our favourite Dhoni memories, or for that matter, many memories. Not everything is a hashtag.
Star Sports, more than others, have had their wits about them. They can take a leaf out of Dhoni’s cap, hold back a bit. It’s way classier. And leaves an impression.
First published here
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