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Scoop: The Cricket Budget Revealed

by Bored Member

Slowdown, what slowdown? Here’s the CRICKET Budget – and NOT the whole SPORTS Budget. This is yet again an insiders’ job, and as is often the case, we cannot name the source.
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Sachin Tendulkar Rehabilitation Program (up to 2011 World Cup): Rs. 1013.24 cr.
(is liable to be increased if deemed necessary, or as and when the player breaks down, undergoes unforeseen surgery, or travel to another country for the same. This does not include allowances to the player when on medical duties. This also does not include other Miscellaneous expenses in the SRT budget for misc. expenses)

Miscellaneous expenses towards SRT: Rs.823.11 cr.
(Public Relations, goodwill maintenance, interview therapy, Elite model programme)

Thank You Sachin Initiative Rs. 475.17 cr.
(A new provision in the budget, towards third party (players) content creation and inventions - separate allocation for SRT’s presence at key sessions. Includes spontaneous media interaction simulation, face your fears German-Bindra package includes high altitude training.)

Voluntary Retirement Scheme (VRS) Rs. 578.97 cr.
(subject to changes as per negotiations; targets key group, icon players. allocation varies as per market value of player)

Appearance Elevator Scheme Rs. 763.09 cr.
(styling, haircuts, misc. physical appearance driven initiatives+cerebral)

New Talent Development Rs. 4.06 cr.
(may be discontinued as research reveals that Talent is inborn and cannot be developed)

Lalit Modi LitigationFund Rs. 768.08cr.
(aka LL or Lalit’s Law, reserved for litigation - misc legal cases, unlawful procedures undertaken against the good name of Mr. Modi)

Modi ‘Rambagh Palace’ Hotel Allowance
(determined at the end of the financial year)

IPL
(aka International Promotion League – cannot and will not be determined, is not for public scrutiny, only for the Auditors of PwC)

VIP Protocol Fund
(a paltry amount, for the unkeep of VIP boxes, misc facilities, entertainment allowance, more a service to the people that serve our nation. Not determined)

E&OE
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by straight point+naked cricket

5 comments:

Unknown said...

the budget should also have a thank you sachin tax to raise resources for the bcci, each time someone thanks sachin they should be taxed

straight point said...

mohit...our insiders say that considerable time was devoted to the tax thing but players revolted...

instead they were asking to be payed...hence the need of fund... :)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! :D
But what about the allocation to commentators like Gavaskar, Shastri, Arun Lal and LS who will sing Modi's praises during the IPL? The costs to the tailor and people who convinced Sharad Pawar to don a tux? And most importantly, the amount put aside to destroy Kapil Dev's legacy?
P.S: Does any of this affect BCC!'s contribution/allowances to/from BCCI?

sraghuna said...

Required - a seperate head for upkeep of stray canines & streakers on the pitch as well as upkeep of stray canines & streakers for Modi's personal use!I like the concept of funds for 'UN'KEEPING of VIP boxes etc!

straight point said...

A

i think no special fund is needed for your 'legacy' suggestion as there's already 'pension' fund lying unspent with bcci... :)