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Che for dummies

by Gaurav Sethi

When your name’s Cheteshwar Pujara and you’re trying to make it in the big, bad world of Indian cricket, you can do with a makeover.

For starters, a new name Cheteshwar. How about Che

Next, get people to know you exist.

Get people to know you’ve scored heaps of runs, triples, lots n lots of triples.

Make them visit your cricinfo profile.

Make them read beyond your first class average of 53.

Make them read beyond 11 hundreds, 7 fifties and a high score of 302.

Make them read beyond the ‘Under-19 World Cup's highest scorer with 349 runs at an average of 116’.

That’s old hat. You are 21 years old now.

It can never be too early to make your test, ODI, T20 debut.

Make people ask Sachin when he made his debut.

Make people ask questions.

Why are you still not playing international cricket?

Make people ask uncomfortable questions – about Yuvraj Singh.

Why is he in, why are you out.

Hell, make them ask tough questions about Rahul Dravid.

Why is he in, why are you out.

Face it, nobody knows about you, Cheteshwar.

I myself have never seen you bat.

I’ve read about you, in the tiny boxes kept for local cricket.

I gather you are part of the Kolkata Knight Riders, good, you’ve got an IPL break.

Don’t know if Saurav will be your captain, but know this, Dada has a good eye – let’s hope he backs you.

He may not be in the Indian team, but his word and voice count for plenty still, he’s in the media now.

Back to the runs you’ve scored.

You scored a triple-century against Baroda at Under-14 level, a 211 against England Under-19, and 145 for Saurashtra in just your second first-class match.

Thanks cricinfo, I had to put it down here, don’t know how many guys give a rat’s ass about cricket stats anymore, and care about player profile pages.

Looks like the selectors don’t give a damn.

How else can they continue to overlook you?

Do they know that in the World Cup, your 97 against West Indies and unbeaten 129 against England took you past big-scoring team-mates Gaurav Dhiman and Rohit Sharma.

Yeah, Rohit Sharma, the next Sachin Tendulkar.

Make people ask tough questions about Rohit Sharma

Why is he in, why are you out

Along with the change from Cheteshwar to Che, will you have to change your side from Saurashtra to Mumbai?

Have the selectors even heard of Saurashtra?

Che, your biggest break ever could be in a few days.

Looks like you’ll have to score another triple to make the grade.

Only catch, it’ll have to be a triple in the IPL.

Face it boy, you have set some very high standards.


straight point said...

saurashtra wont be for his 'rashtra' selection...even if those runs came against top team...

it will be irony of sort that he will be selected (if selected) for his IPL slogs...rather than the tons and tons or runs he made in domestic games...

but anyway he can show class later...his first priority is to make sufficient noise by making runs...hope dada give us this 'parting' gift...

Gaurav Sethi said...

dada's gonna be a gift that keeps on giving.

Mahek said...

Dada didn't seem too keen to empower Che. Probably why his side sucked ass three years in a row.