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The Fast Bowler loses the plot

by pRAFs

There have been quite a few moments on the field when most of us have made a hash of things. Yours truly has had a quite a few, like bowling a beamer in a fit of rage (flew over the keeper’s head for a boundary), tried a slower ball with 3 runs required off the last ball that ended up at square leg (the ball was wet. Really, it was), run the skipper out in a tense match, (a complete yes-yes, no- wait, oh shit, sorry skip type comedy) and a few others.

But the one that I distinctly remember is from the old colony days.

In those days, we’d just get whoever was available and divide them into 2 teams and play a few games.

Now, me being me, had a tendency to lose track of who’s playing for which team.

One such match was heading towards a tight finish. With me bowling the penultimate over.

The batsman dabbed the ball and set off for a cheeky single. I ran towards the ball, picked it up and saw Vaibhav, a friend of mine, at the non striker and hurled a flat return at him, only for him to let it go, while the batsmen ran an overthrow. I let go with a volley of expletives, “bh*****d, ball pakad, wicket hai yaar. “

Only for him to say, “g***u, Tinu (my nickname during those days) main umpire hai yaar!! And collapsed on the ground laughing

I looked sideways, and got the picture, albeit too late.

The guy who was supposed to back up had slipped and fallen, and I in my hurry to run the batsman, out had completely forgotten that Vaibhav was actually on the other team and was umpiring. The whole gang was laughing their arses off. Just felt like burying my head in the ground right then.

Don’t really remember, whether we won or lost. Was busy cursing myself at long on.

The leg pulling was endless for a few days.

Oh come on now, happens to the best of us

Don’t you have a story to tell?

C’mon let it out then

Prafs can also be found bowling wides down the leg side at Right Arm Fast


Gaurav Sethi said...

Tragic comedy. Identity crisis. Crazy funny.

Ok, here's one for you Praf's, if you throw the ball at the umpire, then who do you appeal to?

straight point said...

was there any chance that sree used to watch you from the sidelines prafs...? ;-))

pRAFs said...

we used to have a leg umpire,
but you'd have to be lucky if he got his eyes off the girls standing in the balcony of the nearby building.

pRAFs said...

hopefully not SP,
Coz, if he was, MSD is going to be in the middle of a crazy run out soon

Poshin_david said...


Nice story. Still happens even nowadays. My team mates generally chose to run me out in major games.......(the reason is that I apparently bat too slow it seems - A captain should take lead right?)

Luckily my medium pace does the trick most often......else my brother's leggie does the trick unless he is ofcource in the other team...

pRAFs said...

thanks CPD,
these local games are a lot of fun, there are such funny incidents happening almost every other day.
so, you the Jacques Kallis of your tem then?

Megha said...


being as they were leg umpires, I wouldn't expect anything different from them!

good one!

pRAFs said...

thanks megha,
the same was with fielders on the leg side fence. Never took a catch, them birdwatchers