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Had Michael Schumacher been a cricketer

by Som

Provided the pain in the neck, both figuratively and literally, subsides, Michael Schumacher would be back behind the Ferrari wheels in Valencia later this month.

In another world and at this point of time, he could well have been a former Australia cricket captain, minting money out of syndicate columns and commentary stints.

Had he been a cricketer, Schumi would have been Steve Waugh.

As much a cyborg as Tugga. Even when the world around them come crashing down, they would just flick the dust off the coat sleeve and move on.

And the similarity doesn’t end their. Both were followed by their siblings into the field.

Steve arrived, in this world that is, full four minutes before Mark.

Michael Schumacher arrived little earlier, six years to be precise, than bro Ralf.

Those who have seen him vouch, like Waugh, Schumacher too drove. And with élan.

And he cut as well. Like in 2006 Hungarian GP, where he cut chicane after Pedro de la Rosa’s McLaren had overtook him.

And there are fair chances that after Damon Hill had rammed his car into Schumacher’s in 1994 Australian GP to miss the Drivers’ Championship, the German said:

“You’ve just dropped the Championship, son.”

And if Waugh had his Sourav Ganguly, Schumacher had Jacques Villeneuve.

Fast forward to 1997 European Grand Prix, season’s last race at Jerez.

Schumacher leads the Championship race by a wafer-thin one point from Villeneuve and is cocksure he would romp home.

Fortunately there is no toss of coin in F1 and drivers have to turn up in time. So Villeneuve, unlike Ganguly, could not be blamed for getting under Schumi’s nerve in that particular way.

Race starts and Schumacher pips Villeneuve before the Canadian steps on gas. And as he is about to go past Schumi, the devil in German takes over. Schumacher rams his right wheel to knock off Villeneuve’s side pod before coming to a screeching halt.

To his dismay, Villeneuve contrives to complete the race in third position to bag four points and the driver’s championship!

And like Waugh, Schumi believed charity doesn’t begin at home. It begins abroad.

While Waugh bats for orphans in Kolkata, Schumi’s charity is of much bigger magnitude. The guy has shelled out nearly USD 50 million for victims of the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake, UNESCO and child victims of war in Sarajevo.

P.S. An ominous fallout of the hypothesis is Ricky Ponting might soon be hit on head, a la Felipe Massa, to prompt Steve Waugh come out of retirement in Australia’s hour of crisis.

Som also blogs at Doosra.

picture courtesy Tribune India


Gaurav Sethi said...

Race day of a write man, wata trip of a read. I feel like playing cricket in a speeding car. Anyway, headed out for some charity work now.

Som said...

NC, surprisingly neither Tugga nor Schumi thought of me before emptying their pockets!