How the Knight Riders rode Brendon McCullum and other nightmares.

Brendon McCullum had a brain transplant in the IPL. They took his brain, and put a plant instead. Looks like a cactus. And from then B Mc’s wore a crown of thorns.

Horticulture aside, could anyone survive KKR. Even KKR didn’t survive KKR. They came last but that was easy on them. They should not have appeared on the points table.

So what could a tattooed trucker like B Mc do? He was only used to see ball, hit ball. He never factored the think. Then the think tank sat him down, and in it he drowned. The games he played were actually playing him.

So here we are in Colombo. B Mac comes to the crease like a cricket virgin. It’s scary to see what the Lankans do to him. Actually it’s scary to see what he does to himself.

The Gap between bat and leg while trying today’s invention was big enough to start a clothing company. He played on. It was so ugly even slomo could not redeem it.

The good part is you know he’s going to go fast. Faster than the openers, and in New Zealand cricket that’s saying a lot. Not even a Ferrari goes faster than their openers. But B Mac is speed king, IPL centurion, one trick wonder, he will go.

And when he did get out today, he had the audacity to replay his shot, as it should have been. No, that will not do. You just walk away. And don’t turn up again.