Imran Khan: I'm Surprised

The other day somebody told me about WADA. I thought, my god is this Women against Desirable Atheletes, and I thought my God is this Jemima who has been petty enough to start a body against desirable atheletes like me. Someone then told it's against doping, and I wondered was there a body against dopes like Javed Miandad and of late Younis. Then I was told it was the World Anti-Doping Agency. This was like the reverse swing I invented and Allan Donald tampred with. Well, the reason MS, Bhajji and Yuvi haven't signed it I guess is that they're just not used to signing as many autographs as I did in my playing days. After all, MS is not I.

On Match Fixing, I think WI definitely fixed it by refusing to pay wages to the best team, so that Bangladesh could win the series. The West Indies Board would definitely have earned enough to pay the wages to their players. There was plenty of match fixing in my time, what with Wasim being matched with Waqar, and getting the rest of the team matched to all the girls in England. I fixed a match for myself with Jemima as well. I wonder which match Abdul Qadir is referring to, unless Younis is fixing his teammates with some girls. No wonder they're losing the matches, with all that fixing.

WADA should check Sachin. How can he reach 15,000 runs without a drug called Sunny.

by Mohit Varma