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The Night Before II

by Gaurav Sethi

Match eve, the Indian team on their after dinner stroll round the hotel, all except for MSD, where is he?

Hulchul Singh: Oye, where is MS

UV: Must be in room watching video of Veer

As if on cue heads are raised in the direction of MS’ room – high up, there is one room with the window ajar

Jatman: Does he plan to jump after my sexy captaincy

Garry: That’s not funny

UV: Haha, who said it’s funny

Where a moment ago, none existed, now a howling wind blows in – the curtains in MS’ room are shaking like Shakira

Mishra: I’m feeling scared

They all laugh, UV and Bhajji, make scary faces at Mishra

Mishra: Mummy!

MS’ trembling voice from upstairs:

MS: Help me make this tough choice…

We now see MS’ silhouette, he has a gun pointed against his head

Hulchul Singh: Oye, he got that gun license…

Jatman: Have you also got a gun license?

Hulchul Singh: Oye, teri…watareyousaying?

UV: Haha, Hummer! Hummer! Hummer!

They all parody the smash-hit Humma as Hummer, taking an obvious dig at Hulchul and MS’ Hummers…

Meanwhile from upstairs, MS sounds as if he’s giving himself an ultimatum. UV, Bhajji and the others run like the wind, reminiscent of their sprint in the “Make it Large” tv commercial

They arrive at MS’ doorstep, the door is locked. Jatman asks everybody to stand back, takes his bat in hand. Gauti too grabs his bat.

MS (from inside): If you don’t take Hulchul, I will KILL YOU!

MS (also from inside but in a meek voice): But how can I drop Mishra – after his 7 wickets, half century…

Jatman and Gauti click bats together, and then with a forceful forward defense stroke break open the door.

Inside MS’ room, it’s dark. MS in silhouette with gun against his nut.

Hulchul Singh: Oye, don’t do – because I will have to copy you then

MS repeats his threat to himself: Take Hulchul or I will KILL YOU!

MS (in a meek voice): But how can I drop Mishra

Before anyone can realise little Mishra runs towards MS and then past him, through the window, dropping down 10 floors

Jatman: He dropped himself!

Read the first part of The Night Before series here
And more on Bhajji v Mishra, here


raj said...

Good one/ So, MS has answered my long-standing doubts. I thought he will not make his biases so obvious - he has!
But did you notice that not a single media outlet has made any sort of noise. Media darling, isnt our captain!
Next time anyone tells me MS is this great, refershing Indian captain without the partisan, parochial approach of his predecessors, I am going to feed him/her to Durby on full-moon nights!

Gaurav Sethi said...

Raj, there's nothing on it on the net. Did a search for Amit Mishra+dropped and it leads me to Bored, a previous post - gng to be a whole record of his droppings here.

They're playing with Ojha and Mishra, neither gets a run of more than 2 tests.

I'm told the news channels had a go at the decision tho, calling it last mt

Som said...

Absolutely top-notch, even Tarantino would be proud of!

Gaurav Sethi said...

Thanks Som, I like his films.

Rohit said...

Methinks he wanted both spinners to get a game each (Ojha and Mishra) because they can't seem to decide between the two at the moment. Pick one for ODI's, the other for tests, then make them switch places....and all that.

Don't know what the brouhaha is about. Bhajji was always going to be ahead of both of 'em and they(O&M) get a game each....what's so horribly wrong with the selection?

If anyone thinks that Mishra played in the first test because Sehwag was captain and was dropped when Dhoni got fit, that just seems ludicrous. I doubt team selection depends on anyone other than Dhoni, Kirsten and maybe some senior players. It's not like Sehwag can pick whoever he wants just because Dhoni has a bad back. His captaincy was basically restricted to some limited control during the test match itself. Team selections are hardly matters so trivial to be trifled with on a match to match basis. You guys must think our management is more 'subcontinental' than it actually is!

I know Bhajji is not too popular but that doesn't mean that illogical arguments against his inclusion and hinting at the existence of some nebulous, unproven nepotism in selections are going to make any sense. I mean, really?

On another note, loved the post, NC. Could totally visualize good ol' Mishra jumping to save his captain! :-)

Gaurav Sethi said...

If give them a game each is the theory, doesn't seem so bad on the face of it. But then is B'desh, be even better if they had O&M play together.

Bhajji is played out, those drops point at fatigue. The odd T20 break won't do it, he should learn from Tendu, take a series off.

Now he'll be weary vs SAF too.

I think Sehwag continued to bowl Mishra even when he was gng at 4 rpo, he had him buy those wickets.
Also, i think that No.3 slot was Sehwag's call.

And yeah, he wants MSD's approval, see him after a wicket with MS.

Cheers man

Rohit said...

Just to clarify, my argument is not for or against Bhajji. That he has been jaded for a while now is beyond question. Maybe he never was the unplayable talent that the 2001 series claimed he was. Maybe we went overboard with our expectations. I don't know

My primary objection is at the alleged Dhoni-Bhajji nexus. I think Dhoni is a good captain and his selection policies are based on what's good for the team(in Dhoni's opinion) and nothing else.

I mean, Ishant, despite his horrendous form, got a lot of chances before he was dropped finally; mainly on account of his past performances and future promise. This is a guy who has been around for barely a year or two.

Harbhajan, for all his faults, has been around for much much longer. You can't just drop people with 350 Test wickets. Not unless your domestic circuit is churning out spin prodigies. You're better off playing the waiting game for a while and hoping the one proven spinner you have gets out of the rut. That is what Dhoni is doing, backing his players.

If, sometime in the future, he thinks that backing a relative youngster is a better option, he will do it. I frankly don't see any potential world class talents to replace him, to be frank. Just my opinion. If Piyush Chawla had lived up to his promise, maybe Bhajji would be doing the domestic rounds today. But that hasn't happened.

If for example, the runs dried up for Gambhir and he has a bad season, do you see him being dropped? I hope not. And this is another relatively new player. That's why Yuvraj and Bhajji will get more chances. Sustained performance at the international level is not easy and you'd rather back someone who's been there and done it.

Mahek said...


Mishra batted at number 3 in Ahmedabad and Dhoni was leading the side in that game.

Gaurav Sethi said...

Mahek, clearly another way to undermine Dravid.