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Shahid Bhai, Shahid Bhai!

by Gaurav Sethi

Film opens on Shahid Bhai beaming, standing in his favourite position, arms outstretched as if he’s just bowled the IPL over. He’s lit in sunlight, with the sunbeams shooting past him. A telecast of the IPL auction is on.

Auctioneer: First up is a player we all know as Shahid Bhai, Shahid Bhai…his wicketkeeper often drops this name, not once but many times – you must have heard him squealing…Shahid bhai, Shahid bhai…for Shahid Bhai the base price is $ 250,000

Kreeper: Shahid bhai, Shahid Bhai...why so less Shahid bhai, Shahid bhai?

Shahid Bhai does not answer, he has that beatific look on his face, all teeth; air won’t pass, so how will an answer; but Kreeper is relentless, and asks again and yet again, Shahid Bhai finally relents

Shahid Bhai: Areh you stupids, I’m confident

Kreeper: But Shahid bhai, Shahid bhai why so less

Shahid Bhai: I likes it less…I likes my age less too

Kreeper: Haan Shahid Bhai, Sh…

Shahid Bhai: So age is less so price is less so I am confident

Kreeper: Ok Shahid bhai, sh…

Auctioneer: Allrounder Shahid Bhai, base price of $250,000, captain of the Bhais, do I hear…

Shahid Bhai: What he can’t hears…I’m confident I hears 250000 dollars

Kreeper: Yes Sha’bhai, Sha’bhai I dids too I dids too

Auctioneer: Er..well, no takers for Shahid Bhai

Shahid Bhai: What? How? I will takes myself…CALL NOW! I will BUY ME!!

Auctioneer: Shahid Bhai is unsold, moving on to…

Shahid Bhai in a fit of rage lifts Kreeper and hurls him at the TV

Auctioneer: Oh look, our next player is Kreeper….

Fade to black, the song Shahid bye, Shahid bye plays on


Rohit said...

Blast it. I was planning a post on the exact same topic.
Good stuff though with Afridi soliciting, then purchasing himself...!

Gaurav Sethi said...

If not in the IPL, at least he's playing on our mind. Cheers man.

Mahek said...

Right now he's also playing on Australian soil. I wonder if the wise men of the Champions League will come up with a rule that players who did not play the final of the Big Bash cannot represent that team in the Champions League. Would be a cunning plan to prevent Afridi from playing and no one can accuse them of discrimination. Isn't it amazing, the numerous ways in which you can get away with screwing people over?

Som said...

NC, you made a Shahid of Afridi. Salute to the martyr.

Gaurav Sethi said...

Mahek, not too far fetched that. But in the League this time, wasn't there a Pak player - he kept a low profile, and stayed clear of answering non cricket questions

Som, Shahid of Afridi, like that - salute to the matter