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IPL Divorce.

by Naked Cricket

You don’t have to keep watching your team go down like some oral sex fiend. You’ll be happier hitting on another team. There’s no way Kings XI Punjab can penetrate the semis from here – they could change their name, jerseys, team owners, sex but it’s over now.

You’d expect by the end of the first round, one, if not two teams are spent. KEP sure is. Why watch them – for a laugh yes, but here’s an opening: Let the first round count for something – let the bottom two teams be eliminated. Why? Because it’s easier than eliminating the top two teams – there is no such thing as slow bicycle race cricket yet. Oh right, there is England playing test cricket.

Imagine no more of that Lankan coterie, their gyaan, angrezi, and their 200 year old coach. No more of fat boy slim. No more of the lesser but more earnest Pathan.

From now on extend Earth hour to all Kings XI Punjab games – do not watch them, not till they take no further part in the tournament. If the team had any Punjabi pride, they’d just go back to the fields.

Imagine Brett Lee as a farmer. He will take to it like a Yuvi to saag meat. And Zinta, she can toss rotis when Yuvi returns from wherever. No one will ask him to stay indoors.

As for the IPL, it will have fewer games and more parties.

10 comments:

harry said...

I read the first sentence and i fell off laughing....."go down like some oral sex fiend"!!! what a phrase man.

And the end man, Brett Lee : farmer::UV:saag meat;PZ making rotis...............lmao....hahahahahahahaha.

NC you are in wrong profession, so much talent goin waste.This is top notch man.Take bow.Cheers.

crownish said...

i'd go so far as to say give Kohli a extended run in the Indian team but even that might be wrongly interpreted by the 'prince'.
his attitude and the parallel that KXIP's campaign has had to KKR's last year is disgusting

straight point said...

nice writeup that nc...

the only problem with elimination after first round (7 matches) that many by that time do not finish home and away match... this places those team at advantage who would have played more home matches...

but nice idea tho... must make first round more meaningful than just warm up to work way up ladder...

Mahek said...

I don't think he's serious, SP. But then with NC you never know.

Naked Cricket said...

Thanks man, Harry.

Naked Cricket said...

Yeah Crownish, Kohli totally earned it - he should have been playing for India instead of Nohit Sharma.

Naked Cricket said...

SP, they can work the venues by a pick of lots - each team plays 3.5 games away, and home.

Some may play 3 home, some 4, they can work that out, don't think it's that big a deal.

Even two pools of 4 teams each, where they play each other twice could make for a tighter competition, followed by the semis.

Mahek, dead serious.

Mahek said...

Punajb have lost 3 really close games so it's hard to say they have been absolute rubbish like Deccan and Bangalore in the first season.

More than the quality of players it's the attitude that's so pathetic to see. Sangakkara can't get his players to finish 20 overs in time, Yuvraj can't bat for his life and seems happy playing pocket billiards in the field.

raj said...

Mahek, Deccan lost many close games in the first season. True Story

Naked Cricket said...

Mahek, yeah, their nrr isn't that bad - so they're losing close games, good for them.

Sanga lost form until y'day's game where he figured t20 isn't that tough, just do yr thing. Too late tho.