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Sachin Tendulkar in the Rajya Sabha.

by Gaurav Sethi

Sachin steps out from a white Ambassador, is greeted by a flurry of photographers, journos and freshly appointed cheerleaders

Sachin (clearing his throat and with that his way through the crowd): It’s a privilege…

But such is the noise that the privileged statement is lost on deaf ears…the crowd continues to huddle ask inane questions…

Journo 1: Sachin, how do you think being an MP in the Rajya Sabha will affect your cricket form?

Journo 2: Like you have scored 100 100s are you looking to pass 100 bills too…

Journo 1: sir, Sachin…please…(repeats question) Sachin, how do you think being an MP in the Rajya Sabha will affect your cricket form?

Journo 3: Have you thought of a career in Bollywood?

Journo 4: What was your conversation with Soniajee that day

Journo 5: Sachin! Areh Sachin listen no…very impo-r-tant question…what does Anjali mam think of all this…

Journo 6: Would you like Sarah and Arjun to do politics or cricket

Sachin: It’s been a privilege to…

The commotion is much too much, safari suited, ray banned security walk him through to security…but at security Sachin is stopped, as is everyone

Security 1: Sachin! please autograph…

The security guy produces three t-shirts, two cricket bats, and a few note pads…

Sachin smiles, signs each one of them.

Then the other security guy shows his gun –

Security2: Sir, Sachin sir, please sign on gun, sir, it’s always with me…and if there is another attack, God forbid, I will attack the attacker with master blaster’s autograph wallah gun bat…(weak laugh)

Sachin smiles, signs the gun.

The safari suited ray banned security is impatient, but only because they want a few autographs for themselves

Apologies from the security as Sachin is asked to walk through the metal detector – which starts to beep madly

They all apologise for the sound…

Security 1(smiling weakly): Sorry Sachin, it is not working properly…

Security2 (smiling weakly): Sorry sir, Sachin, but I have to frisk you…

Security 1: No, no…I have to frisk you…

Security 2: It is my…

Just then Rajiv Shukla appears and apologises

Shukla: Sorry, but it is procedure even when I went to United States they…

The frisking is done, and Sachin walks towards the galleries…he looks up, as he often does when he goes on to bat…the crowds inside are going nuts, much as they do in the stadium…

Ravi Shastri is centre stage with microphone –

Ravi Shastri: Cricket really need this…er ha I mean the Rajya Sabha really needed this….

Mad applause, the MPs are all slapping their tables with miniature bats branded with Kingfisher

Ravi Shastri (continues)…Upper house goes the finger!!

Sachin smiles weakly, somewhat embarrassed

Mukesh Bhai and Nita Bhabhi appear next to Shastri, they take the mike and start to speak…

The MPs go nuts, appears the Lok Sabha MPs too have gate-crashed the party

Dozens of cameras roll on Sachin, they have that same motion-capture technique that immortalized Sachin in that adidas ad years ago, the same director too…

Sachin stands still amongst all that, smiles…

Sachin: It’s a privilege…

8 comments:

Rahul Sharma said...

Why Congress has not nominated honest people like E Sreedharan to RS their services may be more useful than Power Hungry Cricketrs and Filmstars. Is congress afraid of Honest persons

Thiru Cumaran said...

It will be interesting to see how the Rajya Sabha members treat 'God'....if he says something against the BJP members, will they swear at him and throw chairs? :D

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone, I have decided to start a blog talking about how cricket has shaped my life. I hope to share some of my lessons learned. Here is my first piece: http://bit.ly/IEhBHl. I look forward to having you join me on my journey!

New iPhone Games said...

What changes san sachin bring in the rajya sabha or he is going to change??

ameycricketer said...

Yawns

Online Android Games said...

It's a bad idea to bring a sports person into politics....And respect to Sachin who denied the offer

Unknown said...

This is EPIC..! Simply too good.. ROFLMAO literally...

how to be a sports bookie said...

haha I completely agree with the Unknown's comment, that was epic and I enjoyed it a lot!