If losing isn’t bad enough, a losing captain is expected to walk up and reflect on the defeat. Virat Kohli did just that, he was composed enough to make you believe he was still batting. When asked about his batting colleagues, he expected them to reflect on the defeat; to take a good long look at themselves in the mirror.
As it has
often turned out, the team does take what Kohli says to heart. And in this case
to mirror. It does beg the question though, how literal are their minds; but it
was largely because of this mentality that a breakthrough of sorts was
achieved. At last for some of the players.
In batting
order, here is how it panned out for the men in white, who are way happier
being the men in blue (at least overseas).
Murali
Vijay stared blankly at the mirror. Ran his fingers through his long locks. Continued
to stare blankly. It was as if he was waiting for an over to be bowled. For
out-swinger after out-swinger to be bowled. There he was on auto-pilot, doing
something he’d done so many times before. But then, much like the one that
didn’t go away, and had him trapped in front, Shikhar Dhawan walked in.
Dhawan
appeared to be in a hurry. He merrily asked Vijay for the mirror. Vijay still
stumped by the incoming Dhawan, flung him the mirror.
Only to see
Dhawan drop it. A beaming Dhawan picked the mirror or what remained of it – the
glass had cracked, the frame remained.
Dhawan
cheery as ever stared at it. A blank Vijay was still worried about his form
with the mirror. How in spite of looking long at himself in the mirror, he saw
little of consequence.
Murali
Vijay (MV): I didn’t see anything…what will I tell Vi…
Shikhar
Dhawan (SD) interjecting: Oh yeah, me neither, me neither…haha but it was
broken so…let’s get another mirror, this time I will catch it
Vijay and
Dhawan sourced another mirror through room service. They decided that this time
Dhawan will introspect first.
Dhawan
somehow couldn’t bring himself to focus on the mirror though.
SD: I want
to get off strike…you see…then I’ll see…then we’ll both see that way…like
rotating strike
MV: OK,
don’t throw it, just hand it to me…gently
Just as
Vijay is taking the mirror off Dhawan’s hands, out of nowhere, a bubbly KL
Rahul walks in rattling off some lines he had done for an RBI advertisement
KL Rahul
(KLR): RBI kaheta hai (RBI says)….
Yet again,
Vijay is taken totally unawares by an incoming delivery, in this case Rahul’s
delivery of the RBI ad. Vijay fails to offer a stroke, or his hand to Dhawan,
who ends up handing the mirror to thin air and dropping it.
SD: (to MV)
You made me drop it, like DK made me drop it…if you didn’t want to catch it,
why did you go for it?
MV:
Please…please don’t compare me to DK
SD: Why?
KL Rahul is
by now trying to spread some chill amongst the openers.
KLR: Satark bano! (Be vigilant; his Ad lines
again) We’re all three openers, let’s do the mirror challenge together
This time
they decide to use the mirror in the bathroom, all three staring at it. Which
is when Rahul blurts out
KLR: Y’kno
at three I don’t know my role, I’m an opener
Someone
says Defi-nate-lee from outside. It’s Rahane.
MV: Have
you introspected…er done the mirror thing?
Ajinkya
Rahane (AR): Defi-nate-lee…I thought since it is introspection, we don’t need a
mirror. We can use the mirror app on the phone.
The three
players download the mirror app on their phones. They are now idling in corners
staring at their phones.
Dinesh
Karthik walks in rambling a lot of eloquent thoughts. Dhawan drops his phone.
Karthik goes for the dropped phone and ends up dropping Vijay’s phone in the
process. Meanwhile, Rahul is oblivious, plugged into his headphones.
Rahane gets
up to calm the others when he drops his phone too.
Elsewhere,
R Ashwin is filming himself as he speaks to the mirror in his bathroom. He has
started addressing himself, his expectations, where he delivered and where he
fell short.
R Ashwin (R
A): Even though I was the lone spinner on a seaming track, I took 7 wickets in
the match, I believe I could have done more with the…
Furious
knocking on the door. Ashwin stops the filming, and gets up to answer the door,
it’s Bhajji
Harbhajan
Singh (HS): Oye Ashwin, yaar, this commentary is too much tension yaar…Thodi help karva de…thodi si lift karva
de…
Ashwin
opens the door and sits Bhajji down. He excuses himself, promising to return in
a few minutes. When Bhajji hears Ashwin talking cricket to himself inside, he
calls up Yuvraj Singh to report the whole episode…
HS: Oye
yaar, KXIP da kaptan bathroom de undar cricket pe *%^#$@ raha hai heheheh
Meanwhile,
Hardik Pandya is finding the mirror thingy hard going. Whenever he looks
himself in the mirror, he’s distracted and goes for the clipper, trying
something new with his hair.
Finally, he
locks the clipper in the safe not bothering to remember the combination lock he
has entered. He then calls room service to explain his problem.
Hardik
Pandya (HP): You see, this is the problem, so even if I call asking you how the
hotel can open my safe, please do not help me…Hello, please can you please help
me open the safe…I don’t remember the combination I entered and my clipper is
in it?? Pleeease…
As
requested, Pandya does not get the combination. He settles with the mirror. It
is an indulgent time. Almost like a fashion shoot. Pandya is giving himself the
looks
HP (pointing
to himself): You talking to me??
After some
of the distractions, there’s serious introspection to be had
HP: ok, I
may not be the world’s greatest all-rounder but are there any all-rounders in
the world today? Hmmm…Ishant should not have taken two there…but if we had
tried for the third run, one of us would’ve been run out…I know everyone will
say, why not just run one? But always Mr Gava-sk-aaar is saying to convert ones
into twos and he’s also Ravi’s good mate so I thought the two will make Ravi
happy…and I have a lotta faith in the tail..more than in our top order hehehe
India’s
pace attack has decided to do away with the mirrors, instead they’re sitting by
the poolside, staring at their reflections in the water.
They look
at each other, smile, and almost simultaneously splash into the water. After a
few laps, they hookup again.
Ishant
Sharma (IS): Room service or dining room?
Umesh and
Shami smile, leaving the decision to Ishant.
IS: Let’s
do room service, I don’t want to see our batsm..
Someone
dives into the pool and makes a big splash, it’s Virat Kohli.
Kohli: Mind
if I join you guys?
(However
true this may sound, this is largely a work of fiction)
First published here
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