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The colonial coach.

by Gaurav Sethi

by Naked Cricket

You can’t just keep dropping names. At least not the same ones. It gets boring.

So, after a while Mendis and Murali became the two Ms. Though if accents be accommodated, the 2 Yums would’ve been more apt.

Right now, Garry Kirsten will be the most oft repeated coach name (leaving Blue Lines far behind).

So, how do we M it?

See, we’re in Delhi, where Greater Kailash a.k.a GK, is a colony of many markets, blocks, numbers; for instance – GK 1, GK 2, GK3, GK 4, GK 1 M Block, GK 2 M block, GK 1 N Block. As we speak there are other GKs coming up.

Like Garry Kirsten (GK).

And by the time GK’s stint with the Indian team is over, he’ll be more GCed (Greg Chappelled) –that is, more maligned.

So, let’s slot the guy:

GK2 M block market: Once a demure opener who spoke only in hushed whispers to Andrew Hudson or whoever was at the other end, got the job done – dirty work like saving lost games. Btw GK2M was once the leading commode market of Delhi.

GK1 M block market* – I want to get out, be a babe or a babe magnet, sensationalise. During power cuts, this one has a million gensets on. It’s loud, incoherent, far too many conflicting sounds – but always out there. Look up coaches’ latest statements.

GK1N block – This is fab india market. Where 9 out of 7 stores are fab india. The other -2 are in the red. In his early days as coach, GK was like the Beatles in Rishikesh – all fab india. Then he learnt the maharishi was one Sexy Sadie. Basically, the board is a bitch.

Other GKs – Obscure, but they’re there, hovering somewhere on the sidelines and will emerge when you least expect. This coach isn’t what he seems. But the board is. And so are we.

* ode to m block market

16 comments:

samir said...

NC: You're a GK'er? Amazing!

straight point said...

soopher GK!

GK with yum yus dhee is the combination we are looking for...

Gaurav Sethi said...

Samir - hauz khas-er here. u a GK'er?

Gaurav Sethi said...

sp - "yum yus dhee?" aaah think i got it - MSD! good one there.

Gaurav Sethi said...

sp - "yum yus dhee?" aaah think i got it - MSD! good one there.

Viswanathan said...

My GK is poor. Can you explain what this mutual back slapping between You,SP and Sumit is all about?

Gaurav Sethi said...

Otti - you can get even with one on Nungambakkam.

Viswanathan said...

NC,

I am planning my revenge.:)

sraghuna said...

Well I guess the multiple personalities of this 'colonised'GK will need 'New Friends' with each change of persona till such time that he meets the fate of a tonsured Andrew Symmonds(Andrews Gunj)!Meanwhile MS(emi Captain) Dhoni shall go on to become MC(omplet Captain)D, hopefully without any of the associated chaotic functioning!Finally the 'BC'ci shall ensure that 'Pawar' plays are eternal & whilst uttering mysticisms like Alak'Niranjan' shall appoint a new coach going by the appelation of VV(Laxman or Vasant Vihar ... take your pick!).

Gaurav Sethi said...

SR - grand! some colonial hangover there, ol' chap!

if anyone wants to look up the
pak team, they stay in the makebelieve Junta Colony of "Hum log". Don't bother ringing the bell coz no one listens.

Anil Singh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anil Singh said...

just to add some info to NC's reference of the Beatles stay at Rishikesh: The Mahesh Yogi Ashram which once happened to be a den of trance and other pleasures, but now in ruins, comforted the illustrious Sadhu and his famous disciples. If the story is to be believed , it is when the supremely stable Yogi got enamoured by a pretty female companion of one of the Beatles boys, that they changed their perception about the Yogi and got the wisdom that 'no matter what, all creatures on this planet are behind the same thing' in short 'what is a tick in them is a tick in their spiritual master'.

Gaurav Sethi said...

AB - yeah, went past the ashram last year, it's seen better days. Btw did u check the song link to sexy sadie - that's a dig at the maharishi
cheers!

Scorpicity said...

Is gary there with the team... all quiet on the battlefront.

Gaurav Sethi said...

Is he scorpi? suspect they'll be vacationing in various studios.

Suresh said...

Nice article, GK is amazing.