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India beaten by a liar, stabber, world record holder.

by Naked Cricket

Of all the people in this world, India got Runako Morton to beat them. Morton is no ordinary cricketer. He is an extraordinarily ordinary cricketer. To talk of his agricultural batting would cause more peasants to take their lives. He is the drought.

He is also a liar, and once lied about his grandmother’s death to pull out of the ICC Champions Trophy. Sure it was ICC and not IPL but why kill your granny when you can just as easily tell the truth and say “my batting is dead”.

This is the Morton that beat India. He scored 80 odd runs, with a not-out to boot. Don’t ask how he scored them, you just can’t watch Morton bat – is that why India let him score so many, they weren’t watching him bat?

The very Morton that holds the World Record for the most prolific ODI duck – 31 balls no run. That is the Morton I know and loath.

He was once arrested in a stabbing incident, but then he should be arrested every time he bats – those ugly, hellish cross batted drags, no less painful than the stabs Caesar felt. And what is left to say now for Indian cricket, “Et tu, Morton?”

Can’t wait for Fidel Edwards to win a game, with the bat.

11 comments:

raj said...

Perhaps, our captain felt a sense of kinship with him(axeman-axeman bhai bhai) and was so moist eyed in admiration that he forgot to plan for Morton's dismissal?

Late Inswing said...

NC - thought he was Runako i/o Ricardo

Raj - axeman indeed! This is the unkindest Cut of all

Naked Cricket said...

Raj, Ha! More like kinkship here.

But that's an interesting comparison, MSD sure has a bit of Morton in him, he's just way cooler. And then there's that bit of opting out of games. Morton Singh Dhoni!

Naked Cricket said...

Late Inswing, got that right now. Thanks. Tell you what, Morton and me, not on first name basis.

straight point said...

this will become akin to bowling being pathetic...dead... disinterested...

in future ppl will have to say that bowling was so low that even morton won the match...and we all will understand the standard of bowing...

Naked Cricket said...

SP, that's another way of looking at it - and imagine, Ishant wasn't even playing.

raj said...

All in all, a great day for axemen yesterday. 95 and 85*. I just wish ODIs were dead because Morton Singh will have nowhere to hide then...

raj said...

BTW< loved that first name thingie comment, NC!

Naked Cricket said...

Raj, think we're on to something with the axemen and Morton Singh here. A weirder parallel be hard to find.

raj said...

Time for a new Bored invention - Axemen Inc.?

raj said...

And we must patent Morton Singh Dhoni!