No Indians in IPL’s final auction.

There’s only one reason for this, the loose change in the IPL franchisees’ pockets - $750,000, that’s it. Now while you can buy the entire Zim team for that much, plus a handful of Lankans and Banglas thrown in as freebies; 750k will barely get you half an Indian cricketer. It could buy you UV’s injured little finger or a strand of Jatman’s hair.

Anyway, a flea market’s great fun, be cool if they have the auction at Select City; imagine wading through a doughnut while Kieron Pollard is being tattooed by the Knight Riders. If Gayle has his say, Pollard goes with SRK – 750k upfront balance in hair salon vouchers. If Gayle can swing it bigtime, he could pick Roach too, for free – frankly they should make him captain; he’ll give KKR a serious shot at the title. (Lalit Modi should introduce another team; call it the Modi's moody stars and replicate the Stanford superstars' team model)

Nobody will buy Ganga or Hinds; unless BRC is looking for a Jaffer substitute at the bench. The other Bravo should go MI; this way you get the brothers together, if nothing else, be great for MI advertising (that’s all they do anyway) –could be the usual Bollywood twist, two brothers lost in a Caribbean mela, united in the MI mela.

Benn should be bought, but the IPL coaches have low roofs; still the tournament could do with his temper. Ideally the Daredevils should buy him; they need some emotion – and he looks like he could pick the MC BC Dilli lingo quick – imagine Benn MCng away. The DDCA goons will love him.

What about Sarwan, wasn’t he with Punjab? Now if they don’t want him, who will? As for Simmons, his size fits him into MI or DD. Good buy. Goodbye, next another team.

Now it hits me – these are the Indians in the IPL final auction. Wonderful, east or west, Indians are...whatever.