After PL, Pollard and Gayle want India to include overseas' players for the Champions Trophy

Ten seasons back, when the IPL began, nobody quite knew how it would turn out. While many overseas’ players put their everything into it, sacrificing country, national duty, et al, it still was a huge risk. As the IPL grew, so did these overseas’ players. Many were retired but many others were superstars in their own right and commanded big bucks, for them the IPL calling held way more promise than playing for their national squads.

One such player was Kieron Pollard. Although Pollard made his international debut in 2007 for the West Indies, he first played in the IPL in 2010. A constant fixture in the Mumbai Indians, Pollard was perceived as a player so precious, often, the team refused to send him out to bat – MI’s focus was to preserve Pollard’s batting prowess.

The focus has finally paid off. In a recent match against Delhi Daredevils, he was promoted up the order to bat at three – he appeared well rested, and was able to express himself. Before this, a comment by commentator, Sanjay Mnajrekar was misconstrued on twitter – an inspired Pollard made his bat do the talking and gave Manjrekar’s alleged comment a fitting reply. With so much vested in the IPL and even more in his team-for-life, the Mumbai Indians, Pollard has started to think of himself as an Indian.

“I may weigh a 100 kg and be 1.96 metres tall but all I am today is because of the IPL and my team, the Mumbai Indians. I think of myself more as a Mumbai Indian than a West Indian – I hardly play for the Windies anymore, either they don’t pick me or I don’t pick me, I dunno…but yeah, I just saw the Champions Trophy squad and I’m unhappy not to be a part of it”

The West Indies have failed to qualify for the Champions Trophy for the first time since its inception in 1998. While this has left many of the players distraught, some like Pollard were hoping to turn up for India instead.

Pollard believes that the IPL’s four overseas’ player rule has made him feel like a part of a family. He also feels that the BCCI still has enough clout to do as they please and could have easily incorporated a four overseas’ players’ rule in their national squad.

Another West Indies’ player who has shone with both bat and ball, Sunil Narine, did not comment but his KKR captain, Gautam Gambhir didn’t mince words – “Narine is ready to do anything for KKR, open the bowling, open the batting, name it, he will do it, you don’t get players like him these days. He also has an Indian first name – Sunil. How much more proof do we need that he is a true blue Indian – even though he is West Indies by birth, he is East Indies by cricket. For KKR he has turned it both ways, can’t we as Indians turn it one way for him? I’m not feeling bad at not making the Champions Trophy squad – but to see Sunil not make it, that is indeed distressing. Rohit is returning from injury and Dhawan is returning to the team after a gap, and Rahane is returning from a bad run of form – ideal time to have given someone like Sunil a shot, in my honest opinion”

Dwayne Bravo who is yet to play for Gujarat Lions this season is equally vocal. He feels that injury may have kept him out of the IPL but he is confident India will retain the trophy – “I want to do a sequel to my hit song, Champion for India – I have already decided on the name – it will be called Champion Trophy – if I was part of the winning Indian team, even if on the bench then it would be a big deal…y’kno I like dancing into the hotel with my winning team…it’s a good feeling”

After two bleak seasons with RCB, Chris Gayle is disappointed but feels he has performed quite well in his condom ads. “We know cricket is commerce. India is cricket. So India is commerce. I am commerce. So I am India. Yeah maan?”

Going by his somewhat bizarre yet compelling rationale, Gayle is convinced he should have been a part of India’s Champions Trophy squad. He continues, “Even in Jio ad whoz there? Me. And Virat. And AB. Whoz dancing? Me. And Virat. And AB. Whoz be in Champions Trophy ad? Not me. Your loss, baby.”

This IPL, Dwayne Smith has played 10 games, scoring 74 of his 177 runs in one innings. That one innings however, won Lions the match. For a low ranked team that has lost eight of its 12 matches, Smith feels his contribution is huge – “For a player who favours the leg side, I think I have outperformed myself. If Gayle and Pollard can’t make the squad, then I have no chance. Still it would have been nice to be part of a winning team for a change.”

While Tendulkar and Dravid have been vocal about India participating in the Champions Trophy, they refused to comment on the West Indies representing India. However, Vinod Kambli, though not contacted, said some of the present West Indies’ batsmen reminded him of his own flair and that should not be used as reason by the selectors to deny them their rightful place in the squad.

 (However plausible this may sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)

First published here

Read more...

Return

Have you been approached by the Mumbai Indians yet?

Mumbai Indians' pursuit of Sir Donald Bradman as their mentor-in-chief has never been documented. Unlikely as it sounds, it never happened. The Don’s time was way ahead of the IPL. Countless others such as Sachin Tendulkar, Ricky Ponting, Anil Kumble, John Wright, Jonty Rhodes and Robin Singh were far luckier. Give it a few more years and Bhajji will join his Sachin Paaji on that watchful bench, with Pragyan Ojha as his apprentice. Match after match, these fine cricketers squat in that Mumbai Indians’ dugout with an intensity only an Ambani can afford. The Mumbai bench extends to old faithfuls Sunny bhai and brother Ravi in the com box. There’s Nita bhabhi and her sons, and on occasion Mukesh bhai too. And what better if the match is at Wankhede. We are family.

On the field, the Mumbai Indians are stuck in a time warp – after years, there’s still a plan underfoot to eke out a return on investment from Kieron Pollard. For years he batted so low, you’d think he was being saved for the IPL after party. And when he did surface, so did the bouncer or a spinner with guile. In between there were petrified IPL virgins sacrificed on the altar of Pollard the match winner. In 2010, Michael Holding said, "Pollard in my opinion is not a cricketer". Since his international debut in 2007, Pollard is yet to play a single Test. By the look of it, it’s doubtful he ever will. Once retired, he too may find himself on the MI-bench.  Position – Catching coach. Key areas – Acrobatic catch, the dodgy ones on the boundary. Additional responsibilities – how to sledge Australians, especially Shane Watson. Overheard saying, “My moves are better than Dwayne’s”.

Lasith Malinga went easy on his Sri Lanka career, retiring from Test cricket so he could be called the world’s best death bowler in a local league. To extend his IPL career, Malinga could play even fewer matches or none at all. Having captained Sri Lanka, an appointment as the Ceylonese Ambassador on the MI bench appears likely. It’s another thing that apart from Angelo Mathews and Thisara Perera there are no Lankans in the IPL. So what if Perera doesn’t play, there are still two MI vs. DD matches for Malinga to pen his "Sri Lankans in the IPL diary". Perhaps even a chapter on MI’s match in Chennai – titled ‘No Sri Lankans in the IPL diary’.  Additional responsibilities – On your toes & off-your-yorker coach and how to mysteriously smile while being smashed around. Overheard saying - “For me, MI stands for Malinga Indians”.

Aaron Finch’s indifferent World Cup run is leading to an even more indifferent IPL run. Form-is-fickle coach for Finch. A largely philosophical assignment, he will speak of his record breaking 156 that was preceded by three single digit scores and followed by yet another such score, only to be followed by two half centuries...there, you get the drift. Position – Hit out or get out coach. Additional responsibilities – help under nourished, uncapped Indians put on weight – Eat right or get out coach. Overheard saying – nothing. 

Corey Anderson, signed on by the Indians after he knocked the fastest ODI century, has mastered the what-am-I-doing here look. Will be Finch’s assistant in the philosophical class. Will also hold special classes for sacrificial virgins (young Indian bowlers in the IPL) on how not to bowl at all by being picked as a flash bat who can bowl a bit. Additional responsibilities – how to keep your chin up and out. Overheard saying – nothing.

Unmukt Chand: English speaking coach. Will introduce the players to the Oxford Dictionary and St Stephen’s college. Additional responsibilities – social media. Overheard saying – stuff nobody understands.

Parthiv Patel: Will screen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. After the screening will stand there as Display No. 1 and a much younger Display No. 2 barely five minutes later. Additional responsibilities – are you kidding, someone so young? Overheard saying: “Mummy!”

Harbhajan Singh: Once retired, he will sit next to Sachin paaji. They will laugh. Not since VVS and Cheeka will there have been such levity in an IPL dugout. In inner circles it will be rumoured that his position is that of Mental Mentor or MIMM – Mumbai Indians Mental Mentor. Additional responsibilities – lifting, slapping, clapping, other mundane tasks. Overheard saying: “Teri ma ki” or “Monkey” or “Maan ki" or "thank you, Sachin”

Rohit Sharma: Talent Scout. Will solely work on himself. Will continue to scout for hidden talent within. Will spend time behind closed doors with Shastri’s booming voice. Additional responsibilities – to pout. Overheard saying – “Thank you, Ravi!”

First published here

Read more...

Return

Pollard to donate sperm to Mumbai Indians

After a barbaric 72 of 30 balls, the Mumbai Indians biggies moved in quickly to sign up future generations of Kieron Pollard. It is learn that Pollard will donate his sperm to spawn future generations of mad hatter hitters. But what if it’s a girl? Mumbai Indians will tackle that by starting a women’s franchise called the Mumbai Pollards. Which is when someone joked, what if it’s a chhakka? The Indians didn't laugh.

Read more...

Return

If I had purchased Pollard for the Delhi Daredevils.

Pad up Pollard, you are going to open the batting.

Pollard OUT! No problem. Batsman will feign injury, Pollard with his giant strides will be the runner.

Batsman feigning injury OUT! No problem, Pollard will be the change in gloves-man, the drinks’ boy, the messenger, the message, the conversationalist in the dugout.

During breaks, Pollard will go on an autograph signing spree, shake hands, shake his booty.

Change of innings

Pollard will speak animatedly to his mates in the huddle.

Right arm over, Pollard will open the bowling. He will bowl his full quota of overs unchanged.

He will converse with the captain, if he is captain, he will converse with himself.

These conversations will be telecast. Shastri will intervene, with “Make no mistake, that is Pollard & Pollard”

Pollard & Pollard, the all-round product will be released – it will belong to Delhi Daredevils. It will also be an accounting firm.

After the game, Pollard will be part of the big, fat Indian prize giving committee – he will stand in the centre. On occasions when he has to receive the prize, it will serve as yet another Pollard & Pollard plug. He will gift himself the gift cheque.

Any bikes, cars, tractors gifted, will be steered by Pollard. It will be announced that when Pollard drives he doesn’t reverse – because Pollard doesn’t belive in a backword step.

I will make Pollard do all this and more. Why? Probably because I don’t belong to the Mumbai Indians Underutilization of Utilities Department C/O some careless conservative thinkers. Oh, that’s a contradiction, but then so is MI.

Also read: Mumbai Indians in a fix

Read more...

Return

RDX: Fly on the wall

Whenever one of these T20 specialists makes an ass of themselves, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction. It’s hard to express ones’ self, but to be brutally honest with you, I feel, finally there is some justice in the world. You can’t claim to be a cricketer by your exploits in the limited version alone. It is wrong on far too many counts.

To call it old school is being too simplistic. There are still players prepared to put the hard yards in, and do what it takes to be complete cricketers who can excel in all forms of the game.

The other day, Michael Holding made a telling comment when he said Keiron Pollard is not a cricketer. Out of curiosity, I’ve often stayed up late (with my Bournvita I might add) to watch the likes of Pollard play, and what they bring to the team.

The way I look at it, Pollard is in the team as a batting all-rounder; he bats too low for my liking, and often fails to play as an impact player. Even though it worked for the Mumbai Indians, saving him for the last 2-3 overs and sometimes even less, defies logic.

As a perceived match winner, Pollard, or for that matter a player like Yusuf Pathan should be prepared to counter-attack when the team is in strife. If you noticed, in yesterday’s game, when India was in strife, Ravendra Jadeja batted before Pathan. This is the same Jadeja who batted below Harbhajan not too long ago.

While Yusuf Pathan is known to counter attack against state teams, he is often found wanting in the internationals. Yesterday, once again, he left two short balls alone, never mind they were the last two balls of the 50th over.

While Pollard’s 3-27 may appear impressive on paper, it’s time the West Indies asked themselves about his role in the team. India too, must ask themselves some serious questions regarding Pathan who gets away bowling a few overs and batting low-down, and having no impact on games.

It’s high time the Indian selectors made a clear distinction between international performance and muscle showed in the IPL, Ranji, Dileep trophies.

Lastly, it may not be a bad ploy for the selectors to look beyond the present pool of players. Next I will speak about the role of specialists as opposed to bits and pieces all-rounders.

by RDX
This is the first in a series of posts by RDX, exclusively for Bored Cricket Crazy Indians.

Read more...

Return

Kieron Pollard at the IPL Fashion Show.

(designer: mayawati)

Read more...

Return

Who would've thought Zimbabwe will beat the West Indies?

Not Gravy nor the rum. But Homer, who made an Early Bored Call @Homertweets

"Too early to make that call. Ball is coming slowly off the surface plus there is some spin on offer. WI is known to make a right hash

110 will be a fighting score on this surface.

Hate to say I told you.. But I told you :)

never underestimate a team's ability to muck up whe chasing.. :)"

So glad I kept out of this, thought he’d lost it. Well, the Windies did – but hadn’t they a long, long time ago. At least Pollard played well for his millions. A respectable 1 of 4 balls.

Read more...

Return

the man behind the millionaire...

For a boy who grew up in a poor home in Tacarigua, Trinidad, raised by a single mother alongside two younger sisters, this new world presents him with an opportunity. Pollard, 22, wants to ensure his newborn son Kaiden never suffers the hunger he experienced and that his mother is rewarded for her toil.

yes... this is about kieron pollard... the man behind the millionaire...

the player who went unnoticed in ipl season two auctioned at the meager base price of $60K going for an unprecedented $1.75m in the third auction... one would like to believe that kieron pollard has seen it all... but unlike the urgency with which he plays his shots all over the park... he likes to take things as they come... one step at a time...

''I try to take everything one day at a time, I try to do everything quietly, it's not really much for me because I take it in stride because as any other cricketer, you want to be known.''

i can't still forget his impressions and the way he celebrated after taking TnT to the finals of inaugural champions league... that was something and it showed what it really meant to him... it stuck an instant chord and since then i have become a fan... now only if he transforms his game to a longer format for the west indies... their cricket will become even more followable...

Read more...

Return

IPL auction 3 – Of Pakistani outrage, Calypso mercenaries and KKR follies.

The player auction at IPL3 got over last week and has led to one Godawefully stinking mess of a controversy. We have Pakistani politicians, ex cricketers, cricketers, lawyers, effigy burners, jobless people and their dogs doing some serious IPL, Modi and naturally India bashing. The Pakistani crickets and administrators became one after God knows how many centuries.

It all started innocently. The auctioneer named cricketer and the owner waved their batons (or whatever you call them…drumsticks?) to signal their bids. So far so good. Then Afridi’s name came up and everyone (mainly the media having nothing else to do and Afridi) was curious as to how much dough will the player of the tournament of the last 20/20 world cup go for. The answer was zero. Breaking news, screamed the websites. Afridi not picked! The rest of the Pakistanis also not picked!!

If one thinks of it, are the franchises to be blamed for the “snub” to the Pakistanis? Consider the current India Pakistan relations. 26/11 is still fresh in every Indian’s mind and the Kasab trial is making most of us even more irritated. The politicians in Pakistan are not helping matters by making statements like “cannot guarantee another 26/11 occurrence”. Another occurrence of 26/11 will make the mending of relations as easy as guessing the ages of teenage Pakistani cricketers. In such a circumstance, who will have the guts to spend thousands of dollars in picking a Pakistani player thereby using up a foreigner’s slot without the surety of using him to the optimum? Lots of money is at stake, money which is not easy to come up what with the economic downturn still going on strong. Last year, the Government categorically ruled out giving the IPL first preference when it came to national security. It seems to be a very sound call taken by the franchises in not going after the Pakistanis and it seems to be a business call. That’s all. So can our next door neighbours cool down and concentrate on the real problems they face at home?

Trivia – What connects Somerset, South Australia, Mumbai and Trinidad? Answer is subject of the next paragraph.

Kieron Pollard was picked by MI for a sum of atleast $750000 (achettup put it at $2.75 mn.). Which comes to roughly Rs. 79 lakhs per game if MI does reach the finals. Pretty sure all franchises must have been kicking themselves in not going after him last year when he was listed at a whopping$60000. While the English tabloids are calling Freddie Flintoff the first mercenary, Pollard has become the first active mercenary with contracts to play for four different teams in four continents.

Trivia 2 – What connects Canterbury, Delhi (unofficially) and Kolkata? I am sure you know the answer by now.

This IPL auction thingy sure throws surprises. Their favourite brand of surprises is their strange benevolence to certain players who, well, do not deserve it. IPL 1 had Kaif going for over $0.5 mn. We laughed. IPL 2 had Mortaza go for over $0.6 mn. We raised an eyebrow “The Rock” style. IPL3 now has the injury prone, brittle bones, 30 + Kiwi fastie with no relation to Sean Connery or Daniel Craig going for $ 0.75 mn. We stop whatever we were doing and marvel at the stupidity of whoever thought it a sound investment. Then we saw that the bidder was KKR. I can imagine Shane Bond opening the bowling in front of a packed Eden Garden crowd ably supported by Mashrafe Mortaza. The support being too much, 007 breaks down in the first over itself. Replacing him and trying to replicate his speed is……..Ajit Agarkar.

Such joy…for the opposing team.

In other news, Kaif was picked up by Punjab, no doubt as a ransom to free the Kings’ captaincy from the clutches of his best pal, three potential scene stealers were bought for less than or equal to $100 K (Voges, Abdullah and Kemp) and Rajasthan Royals showed who is boss in their midst by picking the happily retired senior citizen of Aussie cricket Mr. Martyn.

by Dhaanu
blogs at Bakwaas Baatein (Random rambling of a raving borderline lunatic)

Read more...

Return

Kieron Pollard's new haircut.

Read more...

Return

No Indians in IPL’s final auction.

There’s only one reason for this, the loose change in the IPL franchisees’ pockets - $750,000, that’s it. Now while you can buy the entire Zim team for that much, plus a handful of Lankans and Banglas thrown in as freebies; 750k will barely get you half an Indian cricketer. It could buy you UV’s injured little finger or a strand of Jatman’s hair.

Anyway, a flea market’s great fun, be cool if they have the auction at Select City; imagine wading through a doughnut while Kieron Pollard is being tattooed by the Knight Riders. If Gayle has his say, Pollard goes with SRK – 750k upfront balance in hair salon vouchers. If Gayle can swing it bigtime, he could pick Roach too, for free – frankly they should make him captain; he’ll give KKR a serious shot at the title. (Lalit Modi should introduce another team; call it the Modi's moody stars and replicate the Stanford superstars' team model)

Nobody will buy Ganga or Hinds; unless BRC is looking for a Jaffer substitute at the bench. The other Bravo should go MI; this way you get the brothers together, if nothing else, be great for MI advertising (that’s all they do anyway) –could be the usual Bollywood twist, two brothers lost in a Caribbean mela, united in the MI mela.

Benn should be bought, but the IPL coaches have low roofs; still the tournament could do with his temper. Ideally the Daredevils should buy him; they need some emotion – and he looks like he could pick the MC BC Dilli lingo quick – imagine Benn MCng away. The DDCA goons will love him.

What about Sarwan, wasn’t he with Punjab? Now if they don’t want him, who will? As for Simmons, his size fits him into MI or DD. Good buy. Goodbye, next another team.

Now it hits me – these are the Indians in the IPL final auction. Wonderful, east or west, Indians are...whatever.

Read more...

Return

Go Trinidad & Tobago!

Go Trinidad and Tobago!
Even though you have no bowling
You love the free hits
Even though you have no bowling
You’re a team born from a nation
Not from some random trains arriving at the railway station

In this club cricket motorcade
Of brand name teams
And star power buys
Of little faith
You bring a little hope
For the unification of cricket
In your tiny nation by the sea
What will be, what will be
Go Trinidad & Tobago
You will be, you will be

You are the young
You are the Twenty20 haircut
You are the gymnastic catch
On the boundary line
That was hurled and swirled up
In the sky
That was caught again
But it was called a lie

But it was the truth
As we could see
Go Trinidad & Tobago
You are the Twenty20 haircut
The laughter, the old men high five
The IPL contract is on its way
Go Pollard
Go Trinidad & Tobago
Somethings are meant to be
Even if they don't turn out to be
Go!


Go T&T part 1: written ten days back that they would not lose the Cape.

Read more...

Return

T&T adopts TMK.

Read more...

Return