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The Return of Shahid Bhai, Shahid Bhai!

by Gaurav Sethi

Shahid Bhai has barely disembarked from the plane when Kakmal pounces on to him, licking him from head to toe

Kakmal: Shahid Bhai, Shahid Bhai, whys did you leaves me this way, I can’t survive without your tender kiss

The rest of the hapless bunch jump up and shout in chorus

Chorus: So don’t leave me this way!!

Thought blurb appears over Shahid Bhai’s head

Shahid Bhai (thinking) Glad I retired from test cricket...

KAkmal is now carrying Shahid Bhai’s cricket kit on his head, like a coolie, his brother UAkmal holds on to the baggage

Ukmal: Shahid Bhai, you have a lotta baggage?!

Waqar and some of the Poms around crack up

Pom: Yeah, you can say that again…

Waqar (crying with laughter): Ukmal, hey, what’re you saying, you don’t say, baggage can mean so many things in so many different parts of the world

Shahid Bhai now in the team bus, Kakmal behind the wheel, and Ukmal has donned the conductor’s uniform

Shahid Bhai strikes his pose, stretches arms but then decides against it…he sits with Waqar

Shahid Bhai: We must ignore the shit and talk only about toilet paper

Everyone in the bus nods; Kakmal nods too, but as he still has Shahid Bhai’s kit on his head (even while driving) he drops the kit bang on to the windscreen, this obscures his vision completely, he loses control of the bus, the bus crashes into a wall

Kakmal is hysterical as he runs out to see the ruinous bus that has crashed into the outside wall of Lord’s

Kakmal: Bah! Bah! Waaah! Now who will fix it, who will fix it…

A 35 year old man of South Asian origin appears…

Man: Hi, I’m Mazhar, I can fix the bus for hundred and fifty thousand pounds…and to show you that, I will crash it again, at 3.03 pm, and then again at 10.06 pm…there will be two bowl...drivers that will crash the bus...the drivers on the morning shift...yeah, I can call them up...if you want...yeah, 3.03 pm...yeah, right, he Aam will drive at 3.03...yeah..

Shahid Bhai: Looks like shit, bring rolls of toilet paper...

And suddenly, everyone started to chant: Shite Bhai! Shite Bhai!

Shite Bhai strikes a brilliant pose, arms heavenwards, it was obvious he was back, ready to take the piss.


Sujan Rao said...

Good One as usual NC.

Its quite interesting to read Pak stuff like Shahid Bhai, MoYo and Younis than our Indian Jatman, Che etc. Maybe its because of the entertainment in Pak Cricket!

Anonymous said...

Awesome. Your posts on MoYo, Shahid Bhai are cracking ones :P

Gaurav Sethi said...

Sujan, most of them are cartoons. Come to think of it, Yuvi 2010 fits into the Pak team.

Thanks Chandler!