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India prepares for New Zealand.

by Gaurav Sethi

MSD: Of course we must know the opposition..who they are, what they are… of course there are some youngsters in their side but we will not be taking them lightly…we will just be taking them

(laughter around)

I will call Suresh to introduce the Kiwi side to you because I myself don’t know anybody from New Zealand except Jacob Oram who was with the Chennai Super Kings..Suresh please…

Raina: Thanks MS. As MS was saying we must know the opposition – first, their captain who needs no intro – Daniel Vettori

Vijay: Areh, we want introduction!

Raina: OK, Vettori is the captain, even though he is a spinner he is their strike bowler and he is also their stock bowler – after 8 overs of the new ball Vettori will bowl for the rest of our innings either to keep the runs down or take wickets…if he can’t then he will bring on a change bowler. (looking at Vijay)…is that enough?

Vijay: Nahi, we want more on Vettori

Raina (smiles) Vettori is a lower order batsman but because New Zealand has no higher order batsman he became a middle order batsman…if we bowl well he will be batting after 8 overs for the rest of their innings…he likes to score through the slips and square of the wicket – his nickname is Dan…we can make fun of his nickname in Hindi

MSD: Suresh, let’s talk about the other players now

Raina (fumbles as he looks through the team sheet)…ummm there are other players MS? OK, OK, because of his bowling Vettori can’t keep wickets…they have Brendon McCullum…nahi, here it says Hopkins is keeper, who is Hopkins yaar?

Bhajji: Areh, don’t take the Kiwis lightly

Raina: (reads from team sheet) AREH! They have an Indian also – Jeetan Patel

(Someone snaps from behind): Even Yuvi pa can join Kiwis!!

Raina (continues): There is Jesse Ryder who will have a tough time in Ahmedabad…

(someone snaps from behind again): Salaah Piyakar!

Raina (unmoved goes on): Hamish Benett, BJ Watling, Brent…

Dravid (puzzled): Even I haven’t heard of these guys…

MSD: OK, meeting adjourned..

Raina makes a paper ball of the Kiwi team sheet and hurls it at Murali Vijay. The team clears up from the room, only Sachin remains. He walks up to the paper ball, opens it, smoothens the creases of the crumpled paper and starts reading the team names…nodding after each name

A fly on the wall: Wah! Even after 21 years….


Unknown said...

Man, I love these. The Sachin bit is brilliant.

Dean @ Cricket Betting Blog said...

McCullum will need some runs to justify dropping the gloves, I can understand his decision, but can NZ really afford to let him do it?

Unknown said...

NC, awesome! The end was especially brilliant... been chuckling for quite a while now!

Govind Raj said...

Class Act NC !

Brilliant stuff !

But I had a doubt you missed some part of the meeting when you went to the relief room...

Sehwag: New Zealand is an ordinary side because they lost to ordinary side Bangladesh 4-0.

Gambhir: Yes, Yes, Viru is right. They are a weak team. Let us not waste time on Kiwis. Let us go to South Africa by the night flight.

Dhoni: Arre Yaar, where are you guys going ? There are 3 tests before ODIs. You are our regular openers.

Viru and Gauti in chorus: Don't worry, they are just an ORDINARY side. Even Delhi Daredevils can beat them. You almost have the entire CSK with you !

Leela said...


G said...

Sachin : hmm..I just want to make sure that there are no debutant bowlers in this team

Gaurav Sethi said...

Cheers Rishabh and Leela

Gaurav Sethi said...

Dean, what gloves, Kiwi royalty like McCullum can drop the bat, and then his pants and still play. For me, he has the attention span of an Afridi.

Gaurav Sethi said...

Thanks SJ, you laughing at Sachin??

Gaurav Sethi said...

Govind, thanks man.

Haha! But grant Viru this much, he's inventive enough to find new ways to belittle the opposition.

Gaurav Sethi said...

Hi Gana, and welcome on Bored.
cheers, yawns.