The world refuses to let Stuart Broad forget that fateful night in Durban.
It was more than eight years ago, and akin to being mugged in broad daylight. Broad was only 21 and playing in his eighth Twenty20 international.
His tormentor, Yuvraj Singh, was batting in only his third innings. Broad knew of Yuvraj or Singh-2 as they would call him, Harbhajan was always Singh-1.
Previously in the tournament Singh-2 had scores of 1 and 5, threat perception was low to moderate. That night Singh-2 became just Yuvraj Singh to the England team.
Broad has tried his best to move on, especially when he hopes to lose himself on the internet. But that’s when it all comes back to haunt him.
It’s common knowledge that Stuart Broad loves searching for Stuart Broad on the internet – always looking out for the top searches and YouTube videos.
But no, nothing has changed. Even today, that "damn video" of Stuart Broad being hit for six 6s tops Stuart Broad searches. "How can I move on? Will Google ever let me? What do they have against me?" a distraught Broad almost yelps out.
A ranting Broad continues: "Does anyone even know that I bowled 7 dot balls in that spell? Everyone only remembers the six 6s. Yeah right, they don’t even know other than that over, I was only hit for one more six and one more boundary. But people are quick to judge you. How can they call me Yuvraj’s bunny to this day? I despise these people as much as I despise KP and you can quote me on that."
It appears matters have come to such a head that Broad now wants to rewrite his past. How? Does he hope his influential father, Chris Broad, will tinker with the scorecard? No.
Broad believes it must be done ethically on the field of play and that too in a World Twenty20 match between Yuvraj and himself. When informed that India and England are in separate groups in the World T20, Broad is unfazed and claims to have done his homework.
"I know" he says with that smug knowing smile. "I’m not a walker and I don’t intend walking away from this one," he quickly adds, even more smugly if that were even possible.
Stuart Broad feels that there’s a strong chance that India and England will play each other in the semi finals or the finals.
"What better place than Delhi, Mumbai or Calcutta to bowl a maiden over to Yuvraj. Ideally, I’d like it to be the final over of the match – six runs needed for a win. Me bowling. Yuvraj batting. Imagine that. I have it all sussed out. Each and every ball I will bowl to him. I have been planning this for years. My time will come. First ball. Dot.
Second ball. Dot. Third ball. Dot. Fourth ball. Dot. Fifth ball. Dot. Sixth ball. Dot. India win by 5 runs. Oh I got excited there, I mean England win by 5 runs! Hurrah!"
When contacted Yuvraj Singh said he was surprised that Stuart Broad was still playing cricket.
(However plausible this might sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)
First published here