Bored Members - Guests | Media | White Bored | Interview | Bored Anthem - Songs | Boredwaani | Cartoons | Facebook | Twitter | Login

Before #IndvsPak match, 'ItDoesntGetBiggerThanThis.com' receives Facebook funding.

by Naked Cricket

Keri Anderson dropped out of college because so many of her idols did the same. Before long, she started a website and called ItDoesntGetBiggerThanThis.com – an e-commerce site that gave its customers bigger discounts. The results weren’t exactly flattering. However, Anderson was adamant and refused to change the long, nearly tedious name of the site.

Then the big clash, India vs Pakistan, came along. In the build up to the big day, Indian and Pakistani media agreed on only one thing “It doesn’t get better than this”. Mark Zuckerberg, founder Facebook, who only recently visited India, and has been on an all-out attack on that country with his Free Basics, when contacted said he knew when he saw a big, big idea. “The thing about the Indian people is that they’re a lot more suspicious than most races. Which is why they haven’t yet accepted something like Free Basics even after I changed the name. Maybe it wasn’t simple enough.  Even putting pictures of poor, half naked Indian kids in those full page ads didn’t get the idea across. Since then my team has been following current events in India. They are convinced that India is obsessed with the India-Pakistan match, no matter when or where or why it happens...and there’s only one thing they keep saying –“It doesn’t get bigger than this”. I suspect that’s the answer. My team has been speaking to Keri Anderson. She’s a brilliant, young girl, even dropped out of college. We are looking to launch Free Basics as It Doesn’t Get Bigger Than This”

When contacted, ItDoesntGetBiggerThanThis.com founder, Keri Anderson, said she was flattered with the interest Zuckerberg was showing in her website. “I know he means good, but at the end of the day this is a website to offer discounts not free internet to the Indian people. Mark (Zukerberg) has assured me that the site will make money and will be in safe hands. He’s also assured me that the money I get from the site will be enough for me to not worry about opening another website with a long name, whatever that means”

The Indian and Pakistani media has been in a self congratulatory mode taking full credit for the multi-million dollar takeover of ItDoesntGetBiggerThanThis.com . TV presenter, Aranab Goswami raised the pitch once again: “IT DOESN’T GET BIGGER THAN THIS. I REPEAT IT DOESN’T. NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER, NEVER WILL WE SEE SOMETHING BIGGER THAN THIS. IT’S ONLY BECAUSE OF HOW THE INDIAN MEDIA, YES, NOT THE PAKISTANI MEDIA, ONLY THE INDIAN MEDIA HAS APPROACHED THIS MATCH, THIS BIGGER THAN BIG, BIGGER THAN THE BIGGEST MATCH THAT WE NOW HAVE AN OBSCURE UNHEARD OF COLLEGE DROP OUT MAKING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS...and we’re very happy for her, but let’s be under no misconceptions here...IT’S ONLY BECAUSE OF TIMES NOW..THAT ItDoesntGetBiggerThanThis.com is trending world over...Will you keep quiet, I will not ask you again, keep quiet, this is my show, we have Suhel Seth on the line from London...Suhel Seth, can you hear ME? Have you met Vijay Mallaya in London yet? hehehe”

Mark Zuckerberg, who was in Beijing, and ran without wearing a mask, (even when the city was experiencing a yellow-level smog alert), said it was great to be back in Beijing. “Looking forward to watching the ‘It doesn’t get bigger than this’ match with my Chinese friends. Maybe we can all learn a thing or two about cricket together” When asked who he was supporting, Zuckerberg evaded the question with a hint of irony, “Let me figure the rules of the game first”.

(However plausible this may sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)

1 comment:

The Cricket Nation said...

Haha.. really enjoyed your article. 'It doesn’t get bigger than this' ;)