Raina (with some blessings) vs. Kohli

This wasn't a mere IPL game, there was a context to it, and I was awake to it - it struck me when the CSK chase appeared asleep. Suresh Raina seemed much older, even restrained, far more determined than his already exaggerated high standards in the IPL – it was then that it hit me, this wasn’t just two teams playing, this match had a subplot, Raina vs. Kohli.

Going by the lot on offer, one of these two (add Gambhir for good measure) must have very serious captaincy aspirations.

Is that what drove Kohli today, or for that matter, what drove him over the last year and a half? Is that what MSD was able to communicate to Raina during the World Cup knockouts? Something that lingered on, and surfaced again, today, at the sight of Kohli’s innings.

This IPL match was special, not because of the last over finish, but because of this new rivalry in Indian cricket.

Wonder what the Windies one-dayers will hold for the two – there will be no Dhoni, and the contest will be between Kohli, Raina, Rohit Sharma, and Yusuf Pathan. And as always, the new senior statesman of one day cricket, Yuvraj Singh.

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Anil Kumble shoots from the hip

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Vijay Mallya caught smoking again!

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Why Kohli and not Kumble was retained by the Bangalore Royal Challengers

Kumble is shown into Sid Mallaya’s office by a buxom secretary. Seeing her, he coughs the obligatory cough.

Kumble: Hi Siddharth

Sid Mallaya (laughs): You can call me Sid…we’re friends, we know each other….right babes (asking secretary)

Secretary: Eh…

Kumble (briskly): You know I'm the Karnataka State Cricket Association President, and with that comes an added responsibility…just yesterday I was at the stadium in a suit…

SM: It was pretty ill-fitting….

Kumble (ignoring): Eh…Rahul thought it was smart…anyway, now I have to be a certain way, dress a certain way in public

SM: Whatever…

Kumble: So when I play for the Royal Challengers, I will have to wear a suit

SM: No way man…what’re you saying…you’re kidding right

Kumble: I’m very serious. These are not silly games anymore – this is politics. You can’t afford to have the KSCA President running around in some red and gold jump suit

SM (To secretary): Get me Dad… (and to Kumble)…man, next you’ll say, you wanna bowl in a friggin’ head bandage…

Kumble: Yes, people have very fond memories of the bandage…I even got Lara out in that

Virat Kohli breezes into Sid Mallaya’s office

VK: Hey Sid, wasup?

SM: Hey Vir, what will you wear for the IPL…

VK: What? The Bangalore Royal Challenger’s jersey of course.

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Dr. Mallya’s Team Building Exercise – At the BRC Camp

At the hottest nightclub in town, Mallya addresses his boys, as his sycophants look on mesmerized. His son Sid Mallya and friend Deepika Padukone stand by him either side.

Mallya: Tonight’s game will not be played in the bedroom..(waits for laughter, the coterie obliges as they roll over with laughter) it will be played on a cricket field..let’s drink to that!

The coterie raises their glasses, drinks bottoms up. Kumble and Dravid raise their mugs (concealing the hot choco and sip determinedly)

Mallya (continuing): Tonight we play Guyana…and we’re gonna beat them…(applause) and to make sure we beat the pants off them…I wanna make sure you boys are inspired…yeah, Uthappa…you hear me dude?

Uthappa obliges with his customary bow

Mallya: So here’s the deal…the Man of the Match…and like hell he’s gonna be from The Bangalore Royal Challengers will have a dinner date with the lovely Miss Deepika Padukone

The coterie gasps…Kumble and Dravid smile at each other..Uthappa dabs himself with cologne..Taylor practices his cross batted heaves…and Kallis runs his hand through his non-existent hair

Sid Mallya (pleading): Daddy…

Mallya: Don’t Daddy me…

Sid Mallya: Make it a dinner with the lovely Deepika and Sid Malaya…

Mallya (ignoring his son): OK boys, in front of each of you there’s a bottle…and in it…there’s a message..haha that’s why it’s called…

Coterie (chorus): Message in a bottle

Mallya: Yah, that’s right…your roles have been clearly defined…but to get to the message..you gotta empty the contents first…

In front of each player is a miniature RC bottle, and each player takes a shot. In front of Dravid and Kumble however, there’s a miniature Kingfisher soda bottle. Everyone has a shot, and proceeds to read the message.

Mallya: OK, any questions…

Deepika: Do I do my item number now?

Mallya: Yeah, Sid you and Uthappa will join her…

Sid Mallya: Daddy…

Item number starts as Mallya sits on his throne like a B grade Bollywood villain sipping his whiskey, as his chelas swoon around him.

Kumble: Dr Mallya, excuse me, but Rahul and I need to turn in for the night..

Mallya: OK Anil, but I gotta tell you, this Rahul is a very bad influence on you…

The coterie goes nuts laughing, the two players exit. And Deepika dances a badminton dance, while Sid and Uthappa act like the shuttlecocks being hit around by her.

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A Happy Ending For Jammy & Jumbo!

Dravid enters a dark hotel room on one of the higher floors. Kumble sits on a lone chair overlooking the bright lights of the city. He is unusually twitchy as he plays with the table lamp switch: on, off, on, off...

Dravid: Am I disturbing?

Kumble: No, but I am disturbed

Dravid: Anything I can tell you…

Kumble: You can’t handle your own demons, what will you…sorry

Dravid: You sound bitter…

Kumble: I am…that dumbass CLT20 ad they made me do…the Hindi they made me speak..

Dravid: Oh…read a book, it always works for me..

Kumble: Next you’ll say read Premchand…drop the…

Dravid: OK, don’t worry da…you remember what they used to say about you first..

Kumble: Yeah, that I’m not a natural spinner…I can’t spin the ball…that sh**.. excuse my language, not myself today…

Dravid: F*** it da, sorry…didn’t mean to swear…what I meant was…

Kumble: I get it! Even if they say I’m not a natural Hindi spinner…I will go on to do 619 Hindi ads…Hahaha I like that

Dravid: Haha I like that too

Kumble: Thanks Da.. Jammy

Dravid: Don’t mention it Da…Jumbo…

Kishore Kumar’s Hip Hip Ho Ho Hurra plays, as a silhouetted Jammy and Jumbo dance, very much out of character, in the dark room. A moon beam follows them.

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Manish Pandey is playing on my mind.

Why wasn’t he playing for Bangalore today? Who makes these calls – good if it was Mallaya Jr. and not Kumble Sr.

Not that there’s an unwritten code that Pandey should play every game, but why would you not play him? It took us a while to realise Pandey wasn’t playing. What, no Pandey, said I. What??! No Pandey said another.

Bangalore wanted to get all their flashy firangs in, that picked KP, Taylor, White, Kallis + two more middle order desi hitters - Kohli, Uthappa + Bachao!-Dravid.

That’s seven batsmen, and no place for Pandey – and to hell with his first Indian IPL 100, have a look at his scores in the D trophies.

But then you look at BRC in their first year with Jaffer and Joshi, and you realise they’ve come a long way, baby.

Look at KKR too, they pick Che Pujara almost every second game, that’s great for the future of Indian cricket. Long as the past of Indian cricket plays all the time, why should we complain?

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For Love of the Game.

Most of us grew up playing cricket because it was fun. Depending on what you were good at, you used to dream of scoring the winning runs for the gully team or taking a hat-trick in the final over. Some of us thought we were good enough to do both. It didn’t matter how hot it was or if we had an exam the following day, all we wanted to do was play.

I’m not going to go into being proud of playing for the country because that comes a lot later than the joy of hitting the ball over the boundary or watching the stumps go flying. Cricket, like any other sport, is supposed to be fun. It is something you play to get away from that annoying school teacher who gives you so much homework. I assume anyone who takes up cricket as a career would have gone through these emotions when they started playing. Yet, somewhere along the line most of them seem to lose that zeal for cricket. It’s easy to pin the blame on too much cricket, but there are a lot of players who don’t seem into it even when they’re coming off from a long break.

So why am I talking about this? Well, it’s because of a couple of games from the recent Champions League. The first one was between Bangalore Royal Challengers and Delhi Daredevils. The Cape Cobras had just defeated the Victoria Bushrangers, a result that had knocked out Bangalore. That didn’t stop Anil Kumble from leading his side against the Daredevils who needed to win in order to stay in the competition. Staying true to his reputation of a fighter, Kumble strangled the Daredevils middle order before Ross Taylor blitzed Delhi out of the tournament. What was heartening to see was Kumble’s intensity throughout the contest. He looked like he was going to explode every time there was a misfield. The result rendered the Daredevils-Cobras game inconsequential as far as Delhi was concerned. As a result, we saw a Daredevils side sans Sehwag, who had been the one constant in Delhi’s performance throughout the tournament. He was coming off from a long injury layoff but looked like he hadn’t been away from the game at all. So why exactly did he sit out? Sure they won the game without him, but that’s beside the point. Was it too much trouble for him to come out for a game that meant little? What about the sellout crowd that had come to see him bat? These are the people who are responsible for the lifestyle he enjoys, through a career he chose because he loved playing cricket!

The intent of this post is not to slight Sehwag or praise Kumble. I would still like Sehwag to open for India in all forms of the game, and for Kumble to stay retired. But I would like to see cricketers play like they enjoy the game and want to be out there every time they have a chance to play. Let’s put the fun back into cricket!

by Mahek
You can read more of Mahek at his blog Confessions of a Forced Spectator

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Now listen hard you Bangalore Royal Challengers

Too bad you lost to the Bushrangers tonight. That’s another IPL team down the drain. Some will argue, that’s where you come from – and money down the drain and brain drain, but those thoughts are downright draining.

Now let’s cut to the chase. You messed up today. And you need to mess up again. On Saturday, 17th October. At least one team will be happy. And it cannot be you.

You guys, even if you win, what do you get – knock another IPL team out of the tournament. What will Lalit Modi say? Hell, what will I say? What will McGrath say, he’s playing after eons, man.

Of course, if you read this, and decide to throw away Saturday’s game, it will amount to fixing. Either way, the Daredevils will fix you. Happy Diwali.

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Where is Sunil Joshi when you need him?

Sunil Joshi had his day some ten years back in Nairobi: He helped himself to five wickets in an ODI. Top that he bowled some six maidens. His figures 10-6-6-5.

Recall I wanted a six-for for Joshi, but that Nikhil Chopra took a few too. Anyway to hell with all that.

Sunil Joshi was part of the much loved Bangalore Royal Challengers test team of IPL1. We know what happened to CEO Charu Sharma, but what happened to Sunil Joshi?

Well, we’ll never know how he would’ve bowled in today’s game against the Bushrangers, will we? Then again, like VD Merwe, he’s a left arm spinner.

And Kumble would’ve only brought him on in the 17th over. Seeing as the game was won in 16, fat lot of good that would’ve done.

I reckon he would have been better off in IPL2. He's not much good out of Africa.

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The Bitter Half.

After the Bangalore Royal Challengers’ innings I walked away from comp, TV and Taylor to catch up with my wife.

And she said, “You’ve come to your commercial break!”

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The Domestic Season begins..

The Rest Of India team for the Irani Trophy has been announced and I am quite impressed with the job the selectors have done.

Not as impressive are the teams announced for the Challengers.Given the thinness of the bowling attack of the India Green team ( especially with the new ball) and I would reckon that it will be India Blue playing India Red in the finals.

A couple of grouses though - No Cheteshwar Pujara for the RoI team? Seriously? And no Praveen Kumar for the Challengers? Surely a spot could have been found for the man who was instrumental in India winning the CB series!

The Teams

Rest of India: Virender Sehwag (capt), M Vijay, Virat Kohli, S Badrinath, Manoj Tiwary, Ravindra Jadeja, Irfan Pathan, Wriddhiman Saha (wk), S Sreesanth, Munaf Patel, Pragyan Ojha, Kedar Jadhav, Abhinav Mukund, Uday Kaul, Sudeep Tyagi.

India Red: Yuvraj Singh (capt), M Vijay, Sunny Sohal, Shikhar Dhawan, Ishant Jaggi, Ravindra Jadeja, Bhuvaneshwar Kumar, Wriddhiman Saha (wk), R Ashwin, Sudeep Tyagi, Munaf Patel, Saurabh Tiwary, Ishant Sharma, H Khadiwale.

India Green: Suresh Raina (capt), Ajinkya Rahane, Tanmay Srivastava, Irfan Pathan, Ravi Inder Singh, S Badrinath, Chetanya Nanda, Parthiv Patel (wk), Shadab Jakati, L Balaji, Dhawal Kulkarni, Pankaj Singh, Uday Kaul.

India Blue, MS Dhoni (capt), Sachin Tendulkar, Wasim Jaffer, Jalaj Saxena, Suresh Kumar, Kedar Jadhav, Abhishek Nayar, Yusuf Pathan, Naman Ojha, Harbhajan Singh, SK Trivedi, S Sreesanth, Ashok Dinda, AS Goswami.

PS:- Given that Sehwag has gone on record to say that he is not in the running for India captaincy, what is the logic behind electing him to lead the Rest Of India squad?

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Cricket connection to Indian triumph in F1 and Football

It's been a great week for Indian sport. First a second-place finish for Force India at the Belgian Grand Prix and then the win at the Nehru Cup football after a tense penalty shoot-out against Syria.

Interestingly, there is a cricket connection to both these triumphs. As far as Force India is concerned, it is owned by the same man (Vijay Mallya) who owns the Bangalore Royal Challengers IPL team. As for the Indian football team, the BCCI recently announced a grant for the All India Football Federation in pursuance of its latest policy to support other Indian sports.

However, no cricket connection to Sania and Somdev Devvarman's first round wins at the US Open.

Bharat ke taare bulandi par lag rahe hain... For all you know the Indian cricket team might also have a good start to the season as the stars seem to be favouring Indian sport at the moment.

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An eerie similarity between Kumble and Fisichella, Bangalore Royal Challengers and Force India.

Som reveals much more than you want to see, here!

Hic!

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How to cope with your withdrawal symptoms:

1) Don’t
2) Do

2a) Spend time with friends who avoid cricket, and who you avoided
2b) Fill cheque, pay bill, kill bill
2c) Watch a sunset in a country other than IPL
2d) Watch a channel other than Set Max, watch Game-set-match, French Open
2e) French kiss
2f) Watch Kiss of the Spiderwoman
2g) Walk your woman
2h) Make lists like these
2g) Sing ‘these are the days to hold on to…’
2i) Click here to watch the Bored Quickie! Cricket Mickey! IPL Finals Live Replay! It was even better than the real thing.

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Bat first in big final, DD in CL, Dhoni looks tired

Three points I would like to make:

Always bat first in a big final is the lesson for Kallis, Boucher, Taylor since Kumble and Dravid's limited overs careers are over.

Anyway good news for Delhi Daredevil supporters. We've got lucky, having qualified for Champions League.

It's now time to focus on our title defence at T20 world championship. I tell you, Dhoni and some of his boys are looking a little jaded at this point. That's a scary thought for India fans.

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Q moment of IPL Final

Anil Kumble bowling Adam Gilchrist.

Manish Pandey taking that awesome catch or diving across the field to stop a boundary.

Adam Gilchrist stumping Virat Kohli.

Harmeet Singh's catch at fine leg.

Anil Kumble dishing it out to Robin Uthappa.

There were many, as should have been, in the final.

One moment though was not called for - Modi shaking his leg with Katrina Kaif, Shiamak Davar, and Akon.

That was surely not needed.

But one that was and stood above all for me.

Adam Gilchrist, arms wide open, looking up at the skies, and screaming away!

Go Chargers Go!

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Geek Gods did not shine on Anil Bhai

The final was divided into two parts: Gilli's wicket and the rest of the winding road. BRC won it too early, and slacked it out after that. Not Jumbo, he was like the man on the moon who wanted to be on Jupiter. But the Geek Goods did not shine on him. And for once, Jumbo looked more a dude than a geek. On the ball, button, but how long can you carry a team on your shoulders, even on those broad shoulders.

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Bored Quickie! Cricket Mickey! Do the IPL Finals LIVE! As Bangalore do Deccan and vice versa

Click here for a Bored Quickie! And do the IPL finals LIVE! (Bangalore vs. Deccan, 7:30pm IST) The Bored Members are in, gotta feeling Fake will be there too, a shadow of his former self - either a bewada or a dhakan.


To follow the minutes of the Live meeting, click on the above link. It'll just take a second.

For a lowdown on Bored Quickie, you can get some release here!

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Manish Pandey - India's Latest Star?

An unbeaten 114 in a crunch game, followed up with a 48 in a semi final has caught the imagination of a number of people.

After his unbeaten 114 against the Deccan Chargers, I did some digging on Manish Pandey, which I wrote about here.

As it figures, there's more to it than just that.

His 114* was not only the 1st century by an Indian in the IPL, it was only the 2nd century by an Indian in all Twenty20 cricket. Rohit Sharma is the other one.

What's more is that it is the highest score by an Indian in all Twenty20 cricket.

That is some achievement.

Particularly when its his first ever hundred in all forms of the game at the first class level.

In 5 first class matches, 6 List A games, and 12 Twenty20 matches, before the one against Deccan, Pandey's highest score was 69.

In his last 2 innings of 114* and 48, Pandey scored more runs than he had in his 10 Twenty20 innings before that.

Royal Challengers Bangalore have unearthed a new potential star for India.

Maybe a lot of you in India knew about him before Friday, but the IPL has in all probability provided a launch platform like no other for Manish Pandey.

What do you reckon then - has a new star for India been born?

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