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by The Cricket Couch + Naked Cricket
Showing posts with label Garry Kirsten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Garry Kirsten. Show all posts
The Night Before the first InSaf test,
Outside Zaks room, some of his mates sing a parody of the Complan tune
Chrous: “I’m a groin boy, I’m a groin boy…”
Zaks not amused, snaps at them
Zaks: Tumne pee rakhi hai kya?
Bhajji: Haaan!
Sreesanth: Complan!
They all sing again
Chorus: “I’m a groin boy, I’m a groin girl”
Zaks too is amused
Zaks: Haha groin ki toh #@%$* lug gayee. Chalo, let’s disturb Dravid
Bhajji: Areh, whoh toh pahele se hi disturbed hai…
Elsewhere, in Kirsten’s room, Dravid arrives with his books
Kirsten: Hi Rahul, that’s a lotta books
Dravid: Yeah, I got the history of Centurion here…and some stuff on cricket heritage of South Africa…the Cronje secret diaries…some stuff by Woolmer, take your pick
Furious knocking outside Kirsten’s door
Chorus: “I’m a groin boy, I’m a groin girl…”
Dravid: Oh, I’ve heard that…that’s from the 80s ad…for Complan
Kirsten: Serious, they said Groin boy??
Dravid (half smiles) Oh, that’s just some of the youngsters laughing at Zaheer…not the ideal preparation the night before a test but…as they say…to each his own…
The boisterous bunch is in Kirsten’s room, someone asks –
Voice: Garry sir, should we take him or his books??
Kirsten (smiles): Ok boys, let's call it a night. Big day tomorrow.
The players exit Kirsten's room. Dravid makes his way back to his room, at the end of the corridor, humming to himself...
Dravid: I'm a groin boy, I'm a groin girl...
The Night Before (India's nth do or die match)
Kirsten: Boys, we gotta enjoy this – even if it’s a do or die match
MSD: Obviously, there’s no question about that – the boys want to have a fancy dress competition to keep it light. Obviously the theme will be cricket and help in our preparation for the match tomorrow where we take on New Zeal…
Kirsten: Mahi, easy, easy Mahi, this is not a post-match…
Dinesh Karthik aka BossDK enters dressed as the red cheery
Kirsten: DK, DK, DK, when will you get the format right…you gotta be dressed like a white ball
Next, Sehwag enters dressed in his kurta pajama
Kirsten: Viru, what’s the cricket theme…
Sehwag: Of course there has to be a cricket theme…with me the theme is that I can hit them in my sleep…
Everyone cracks up, Sehwag is as deadpan as ever
Next, Jadeja appears, he walks in, walks out, nobody notices, everyone still talking about Viru
MSD: Garry, what about Jadeja…
Kirsten: What about him?
MSD: Obviously we need to comment on his role
Kirsten looks back quizzically, by then Ishant arrives dressed as a spear but the head is missing
Kirsten: Ishant, I get it, you are saying spearhead, but where’s the head…
Ishant: Praveen…
Praveen Kumar appears with just the head
PK: He gave me head…
Everyone cracks up!
And then Yuvi appears, all flash, in shades, twirling his keychain, with the other cool dudes, Rohit Sharma, Viraat Kohli and BossDK in tow
Yuvi: Are we late for the fashion show, guys?
Next are Raina and MSD, both have on them a Harpic bottle and a toilet brush
MSD + Raina: This is to clean their shit.
On decision making
And therein lies an object lesson for Team India following the series defeat to Australia. Well as Australia played, and kudos to them for winning the series with a match to spare, one cannot shake off the feeling that India beat itself rather than Australia beating it.
And the question is. why?
India has come a long way from where it was in the 80s and 90s.. Barring a purple patch between 1983 and 1985, India, for the most part, was a one man band.
Not anymore.
Personnel wise, India has an embarrassment of riches. Both batting and bowling, we have depth and variety unheard of a decade ago.
Captaincy wise too, we have come a long way. Whether by accident or design, we seem to have found the right leaders at the right time.
And yet, we are at best second best.And again,the question is, why?
For mine, the crux of the problem is decision making. Both on and off the field.
And it manifested itself in the repeated brain fades with the bat and the ball. Of Sehwag trying to dominate when in control or Praveen Kumar failing to dive on the second run. Of Bhajji bowling darts and of the Indian fielding going to pieces at the very moment it should be picking the pace.
And in the curious decisions of bowling first on a good pitch at Mohali because of the dew factor later in the day. Or batting first on a damp wicket at Gauwhati with a 8:30 AM start.
( As an aside, did no one tell the team think tank that Daljit Singh had permission from the match referee to run the rope at every interval and after the fall of every wicket? And did no one remember Lahore 2005?).
Being beaten by the opposition is understandable. But beating yourself by not backing your strengths and letting the opposition's perceived weaknesses dominate your thought process, is unpardonable.
I have a lot of time for MS Dhoni's captaincy. But is he is going to beat himself, and the team, before a ball is bowled, then it calls for a rethink.
If the Kirsten- Dhoni duo cannot help India take the next step forward, if this is the limit to what they can achieve, then India has to make a decision on its ambitions and whether this pair are the ones to bring that ambition to fruition.
And if it means another World Cup campaign done the tube, so be it. Because the larger picture, of being the best team in the world and staying that way, beckons.
This series is uncannily similar to the West Indies tour of 2006.In terms of proximity to the World Cup, expectations and result. Then, we went into a nose dive. What does the future hold for India this time?
Have we learnt from history or is it a case of "If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience"
Origins of the Kirsten & Upton Sex Dossier:
kirtsen drops a bomb!
silently... while talking to media... he said...
"We have got a good batting line-up which is quite flexible in the middle. We would like to mix it up during the series. We have got a very good run in one-day cricket. We have got good depth in the side and the younger players have proved themselves."
Kirsten said the team would have to deal with the "huge" loss of not having explosive opener Virender Sehwag, who is still recovering from a shoulder injury. However, he was non-committal about who would partner Gautam Gambhir at the top of the order.
i read it again thinking that he must have said he remains non-committal about who would partner sachin at the top of order... but no... he exactly meant that!!
what!?
doesn't he know that sachin doesn't want to bat anywhere but open the innings...?
coaches have come and coaches will go... but nobody can move sachin from the opening postion... not even sachin himself... he has this place reserved till he wishes...
but i think 'we would like to mix it up' and 'not having explosive opener' are operative phrases here...
are we really going to see some changes in the upcoming triangular series as well as champions trophy...?
Bored to the Bone IV
The origins of the reverse sweep have been traced. Not like you trace a phone call, but more like a phone call traces you.
It’s been the coach-player nexus all along. Often, to lead by example, a Left-Handed-Coach like Garry Kirsten, demonstrates, to say a Right-Handed-Batsman like Sehwag. Now, cricketers can be a literal lot. And not to be left behind, they try and replicate the coach’s exact shots. Literally. But is this right?
What’s your call?
The colonial coach.
by Naked Cricket
You can’t just keep dropping names. At least not the same ones. It gets boring.
So, after a while Mendis and Murali became the two Ms. Though if accents be accommodated, the 2 Yums would’ve been more apt.
Right now, Garry Kirsten will be the most oft repeated coach name (leaving Blue Lines far behind).
So, how do we M it?
See, we’re in Delhi, where Greater Kailash a.k.a GK, is a colony of many markets, blocks, numbers; for instance – GK 1, GK 2, GK3, GK 4, GK 1 M Block, GK 2 M block, GK 1 N Block. As we speak there are other GKs coming up.
Like Garry Kirsten (GK).
And by the time GK’s stint with the Indian team is over, he’ll be more GCed (Greg Chappelled) –that is, more maligned.
So, let’s slot the guy:
GK2 M block market: Once a demure opener who spoke only in hushed whispers to Andrew Hudson or whoever was at the other end, got the job done – dirty work like saving lost games. Btw GK2M was once the leading commode market of Delhi.
GK1 M block market* – I want to get out, be a babe or a babe magnet, sensationalise. During power cuts, this one has a million gensets on. It’s loud, incoherent, far too many conflicting sounds – but always out there. Look up coaches’ latest statements.
GK1N block – This is fab india market. Where 9 out of 7 stores are fab india. The other -2 are in the red. In his early days as coach, GK was like the Beatles in Rishikesh – all fab india. Then he learnt the maharishi was one Sexy Sadie. Basically, the board is a bitch.
Other GKs – Obscure, but they’re there, hovering somewhere on the sidelines and will emerge when you least expect. This coach isn’t what he seems. But the board is. And so are we.
* ode to m block market
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