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Showing posts with label Kumar Sangakkara. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kumar Sangakkara. Show all posts

Now Tendulkar doesn't pick himself in his All-Time Best XI

by Gaurav Sethi

Die-hard fans zapped whether to outrage or forgive the master?

One way to get back into the news is to pick your All-Time XI and not pick Sachin Tendulkar in it. It's been happening way too long, and is now an accepted absurdity among former players.

From the day Tendulkar decided to play cricket, he has been in every playing XI he set his eyes upon. From the Tendulkar's XI that was picked by his father to the Aji XI picked by his elder brother; the Achrekar’s XI picked by his coach, Shivaji Park XI (where he played his early cricket), SD Burman XI (who he was named after), Sahitya Sahawas Cooperative Housing Society XI, Sharadashram Vidyamandir XI, John Bright Cricket Club XI, the list goes on and on, and it’s an undisputed fact that Tendulkar has been part of every Indian playing XI since he made his Test debut, except when he had made himself unavailable for selection. And even then he made it to the Wimbledon’s XI.

Only a few days back, Sri Lankan cricketer, Kumar Sangakkara came out with his Greatest Cricketing XI that has only one Indian in it, and no, it’s not Tendulkar – it’s Rahul Dravid. More than Tendulkar’s exclusion, it was the inclusion of Sri Lanka’s Aravinda de Silva ahead of him that has riled fans. Stats nerds were quick to point out that de Silva’s batting average is much lower than Tendulkar’s, less than 10 in both Test cricket and ODIs. Still others said that Tendulkar had to play with the hopes of a billion people on his shoulders whereas de Silva only had some 20 million hopes to live up to.
Rahul Dravid, who has been accustomed to playing second fiddle to Tendulkar, was at first stumped at Sangakkara’s selection and even prepared to vacate his spot for Tendulkar if it made fans happy. But Sangakkara said it was his list and not for Dravid to create a vacancy for Tendulkar.
If de Silva’s inclusion wasn’t bad enough, another contemporary edging Tendulkar out, and that too Brian Lara, has made matters only worse. The Lara-Tendulkar debate which seemed to have been doused since the retirement of the two players, has been rekindled.  
On the back of Sangakkara’s list, English batsman, Alex Hales has presented his XI, eerily similar, not just because of the player’s included, but because of Tendulkar’s exclusion. Yet again only one Indian makes the grade, this time it’s life-long Tendulkar devotee, Virender Sehwag. Sehwag, who has found his voice on Twitter these days, was his usual outspoken self when he tweeted, “Who the Hell is Hales?? Joke of a list, me before God?? And McGrath before Nehraji ?? By GAWD.”
Throughout Tendulkar has been his usual phlegmatic self, refusing to be drawn into needless controversies. Even a Best World XI by Vinod Kambli that includes Vinod Kambli but excludes Tendulkar has not affected the man who scored a hundred 100s.
In his own style, Tendulkar has made his Best of the Best XI that has also excluded Tendulkar. Whereas many feel that the person making a list cannot include himself, die-hard Sachin fans will have none of it. Some are angered at Sachin himself, asking him to redo the list and add his name to it with ‘Previous Errors and Omissions Excused’ also added at the bottom. An online petition for a new list has already crossed 7651 – the target is 15921 signatories (total Test runs scored by SRT), in case Tendulkar does not relent, there is a second target, 18426 signatories (Total ODI runs by SRT). And just in case, Tendulkar is still unresponsive, the aim is to target is 25396 signatories (Total FC runs by SRT).
For the record, Tendulkar excluded both Sangakkara and Hales from his Best of the Best XI.
Tendulkar’s list has 1) Sehwag  2) Gavaskar 3) Lara 4) Richards 5) Kallis 6) Ganguly 7) Gilchrist 8) Warne 9) Akram 10) Harbhajan 11) McGrath
According to Tendulkar, Ganguly leads the team, whereas Harbhajan was picked as chief instigator. Tendulkar also felt that Gavaskar would be the ideal man to lead the team off the field. A 12th man who would also double up as cricket director was also included: Ravi Shastri.
(However plausible this may sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)

First published here

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WTF do I do with the mementos, Sachin?

by Gaurav Sethi

Sangakkara and Tendulkar chat on the challenges of retirement
Kumar Sangakkara's gravest concern was not what after cricket, it was the immediate future - what was to be done with the mementos that Sri Lanka Cricket (SLC) and his well-wishers had burdened him with. If that wasn't bad enough, the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) shipped the excess from Sachin Tendulkar's showcase. There was never any love lost between Sanga and these cricket boards, but it was too early to discard the pointless mementos. Sanga did the first thing that came to his mind; he called up the "Master of Retirements".
Kumar Sangakkara: Thank you, Sachin, for your tweet. I noticed it got the maximum retweets and people who weren't even aware I had retired, or knew that I played cricket or existed, called to ask me, what had happened - was it because of another showdown with Sri Lanka Cricket; were they forcing me; why was I not playing the third Test?
Sachin Tendulkar: No, Kumar, I should say "thank you". Thank you for all the memories. It was a pleasure to lose the toss in the World Cup final to you...
KS (giggles): Hehe I'm sure, lose the toss and win the World Cup...
ST (giggles): Always completing my sentences aren't you, Kumar? So how did you remember me on such a busy day? I remember during my retirement, I didn't have a moment to breathe... though an early finish did help... aah you guys got free early too.
KS (giggles): My wife has given me an ultimatum.
ST: WHAT? You too? Damn it, don't tell me, it's the "me...
KS: Mementos... yes, Sachin, it's those useless, pointless...
ST: ... Ugly, thoughtless, cheap...
KS: BCCI discards that didn't make it to you.
ST: Don't say, any with Srini's signature?
KS: Ha plenty... and some with your name and mine added as an afterthought.
ST: Good lord, I myself got some which were left over from the times of Dravid and Dada and VVS. Imagine...
KS: Of course, that's all beside the point. It's the sheer number, it's like a f***ing siege, in our little island we've never seen anything like it.
ST: My sympathies, Kumar, but what can I do for you?
KS: Exactly, what did you do with the trash?
ST: Can I be honest with you? Nothing.
KS: Nothing? Are you kidding me? Nothing?
ST: Just for Anjali's sake, we sat down with Ravi Shastri and Sunil Gavaskar...
KS: OK, both of them are here, then...
ST: Shastri suggested we open a museum with all these mementos and brand the museum the "Milestone Man's Museum".
KS (giggles): Hehe trust Ravi to come up with something like that. But it's 2015 and there still isn't any such museum; or is there?
ST: No. Between you and me, that was to calm Anjali down.
KS: Ok, what did you do with all those mementos? Bet yours were far more than mine, way more than...
ST: Sunny said I was like a son to him. He said there was a safe house he could keep them all in and nobody would know...
KS: Wow? Really, where?
ST: Just between the two of us, Rohan's house.
KS: Rohan?
ST: Yes, Sunny's son, Rohan Gavaskar's house...
KS (giggles) And Rohan Gavaskar agreed...
ST: How could he not? But there were too many for him. Once I ran into Mr Amitabh Bachchan. He had heard from Sunny, and felt very bad for me; so he volunteered to have a few hundred kept in Abhishek's room...
KS: What would we do without good friends and their sons... What do you I suggest I do?
ST: Speak to Sunny, he really made quite an emotional speech; work on him straight away. I'm sure there's still space in Rohan's house for another champion.
KS: Oh, Thank you, Sachin. You always have a solution.
ST: Enjoy your retirement, Kumar. You could start by investing in a place in London, if you haven't already.
KS: And watch Wimbledon?
ST: Exactly. Also Sotheby's is big on auctions of these mementos. Every year I put a few down there, it's good pocket money for the kids...
KS: I'm starting to think that these mementos aren't so bad after all.
ST: Oh which reminds me, you could even keep a few at Kambli's place, he's delusional enough to think that they were meant for him... the left-hander angle and all.
Sangakkara and Tendulkar ended their conversation there. Sanga next picked the phone and called Jehan Mubarak who at 34 years with scores of 0, 49, 22 and 0 in the series, was also ripe for retirement and some of Sanga's stash.
(However plausible this might sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)
First published here

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After Sangakkara and Clarke, will India retire from Test cricket?

by Gaurav Sethi

It has already overstayed its welcome, should have retired after the big four
The retirements were thick, fast and often furious but India refused to see the writing on the wall or between the headlines. First Sourav Ganguly, then VVS Laxman, followed by Rahul Dravid and ultimately, Sachin Tendulkar. By November, 2013, when Tendulkar retired, the Indian Premier League (IPL) was already six seasons old. Tendulkar (1989-2013) had played his 200th and last Test match. Compare that to India which made its Test debut way back in 1932 and is still playing in 2015 - 489 Tests in all. If Tendulkar could call it a day at 200, why has India overstayed its welcome?
Could it be the 500th Test milestone: There are hushed whispers behind closed doors that India could retire from Tests altogether after they play their 500th at home. Previously, teams such as the West Indies (508 Tests) have played on well after their decline but it's only to lose their first series at home against Bangladesh. India is yet to lose a home series against Bangladesh but this could only be because Bangladesh is yet to a play a Test series in India.  
MS Dhoni retired from Test cricket in December, 2014, and with him a substantial chunk of his IPL fan boys also pulled out from the longer format. Somewhat significantly, the Chennai Super Kings (CSK) also threatened to be pulled out soon after Dhoni's Test retirement. Although Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) mandarins claim the two events have no connection with each other whatsoever, it only takes a wise conspiracy theorist to put two and two together. "The only reason I watched India play in whites was to see Mahi dirty his whites so that they resembled a CSK shade of yellow." said a boy who fancies calling himself Arvindswami Baraharami from Chennai via Ranchi.
August, 20, 2015 marks the start of the end of two great Test careers - Michael Clarke (2004-2015) in his 115th Test and Kumar Sangakkara (2000-2015) in his 134th Test. Both players were fairly forthright in their reasons for retiring. Michael Clarke said he had not scored a Test fifty all of 2015 and would have preferred to retire from 2015 but unfortunately cricket and time were not that gracious. "If only I could have had one more go at the Indians, I'm sure a big score would be just round the corner. But here I am stuck with England in England. Honestly after I couldn't even score a fifty against the West Indies in four innings, I should have called it a day. But one last stab at the Ashes, who can resist that? Not Michael Clarke." said Michael Clarke, stabbing his finger at his chest rather accusingly, followed by an "OWWW that hurts!"
Elsewhere Sangakkara appeared calm sitting with his mate, Mahela Jayawardene in their restaurant, Ministry of Crab.  "After Mahela retired, I've really been bored in the middle. I don't know how you can go on for five days without a friend? Of course, with India it doesn't go on for that long but I miss the banter in the middle. And we have so much to plan here, new recipes, tweaking old ones, hosting our friends and families. Also the lunch breaks aren't long enough to enjoy a good take-away meal from the restaurant. And then you'd rather grab a nap than chase balls in 100 per cent humidity at my age. Not playing in Chennai in the last few IPL seasons has made me not want to play in Sri Lanka as well. It's so much comfier this way. Like I said before, cricket has nothing to do with my retirement from Test cricket." said Sangakkara as he cracked his way through a giant crab.
Another retiree, Chris Rogers (2008-2015) could only muster 24 Tests, 23 of them in the last two years, said he'd rather retire now than be dropped again and wait another five and a half years for his next Test. "Making a comeback at 43 isn't that exciting. Retiring with a Test average of 43 on the other hand isn't that bad" said Rogers, appearing pleased with his mathematical acumen.
A BCCI spokesperson however was bullish when he said, "If Rohit Sharma is playing Test cricket for India, India will continue to play Test cricket for India." Rohit on the other hand wasn't so sure; he shrugged his shoulders and said he loves the shorter format but he must respect the wishes of his captain and coach.
Virat Kohli did not confirm nor contradict India's retirement from Test cricket. Instead, he added with a smirk, "If India has to retire from Tests then it must retire aggressively".
(However plausible this might sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)

First published here

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