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10 New Year Resolutions That Will Never Come True

by Mahek

10. New Zealand batsmen: We won't let Dan "The Man" Vettori come to the crease before the scoreboard reads 200.

9. Australian batsmen: We will put the team before personal milestones by bringing up our hundreds with a six.

8. Ian Healy: I will not wear baggy green thongs to the Channel 9 commentary box.

7. Rohit Sharma: I will not throw away my wicket.

6. Ravi Shastri: I will refrain from using cliches like "Down to the wire" and "Like a tracer bullet".

5. Pakistan Team: We will hold on to our catches.

4. Sunil Gavaskar: I will not mention Sachin Tendulkar in every other sentence I speak.

3. Harbhajan Singh: I will take wickets.

2. Lalit Modi: I will not monetise every trivial event during an IPL game.

And the Number One New Year Resolution for 2010 That Will Never Come True is...

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More Drumroll...

Bored Cricket Crazy Indians: We won't bore our patrons with any more Thank You Sachin posts!!!!

12 comments:

Bhaskar Khaund said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bhaskar Khaund said...

:-) all good , except for Ravi Shastri you also need to add "upping the ante"

MadhaV said...

@Bhaskar.. Same Commnet Ravi shastri rocks in his commentary..

Nice point noted BCCI

Naked Cricket said...

4th ODI swapped tracer bullet for bullet. He also called Samaraweera bullet. He also drove a bullet.

Mahek said...

BKL, there could be a whole book on Shastri's cliches. I had to stop at two because I just got the feeling something was going to give.

Bhaskar Khaund said...

LOL ! Yeah once RS says them, it stays said ;-)

Tifosi Guy said...

Here are couple of resolutions that I guess will never ever come true

1. Stuart Broad being called up before the match refree - no not banned, just being called up !

2. An Australian cricketer being found guilty and banned !

raj said...

Ravi Shastri's top favourite - "Anil Kumble is a tall man". His conviction that this completely explains Kumble's 600 wickets is priceless. What all passes off as analysis in indian cricket commentary!

Homer said...

Matthew Hayden [ Images ] says Australia [ Images ] are the leading cricketing team in the world because its players play as a team whereas cricketers from the sub-continent, including India [ Images ], play for personal milestones.

Hayden believes many sub-continental players bat too selfishly for their team's own good and this is what explains Australia's recent dominance over India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka [ Images ] in one-day cricket.

The opener said a crucial difference between his side and their sub-continental rivals was that Australian batsmen were more willing to risk personal milestones for the sake of keeping their team's run rate high, according to a report in the 'Sydney Morning Herald'.

"In one-day cricket, if you get to 70 or 80, you can obviously get a hundred by just batting carefully but we just don't do that. It affects a batsman's statistics but we just don't go for those personal marks," he said.

"Counties like India suffer from that. We back ourselves against those countries because they'll get two or three players in the 70s and beyond and they'll be eyeing off that personal landmark and it will cost their side 40 or 50 runs as a result.

"Pretty much all the sub-continental sides are like that. They really can waste a lot of time and there's no time to waste. Every ball has got to have a priority stamp on it."

http://in.rediff.com/cricket/2004/aug/24hayden.htm

Get that, u bloody subcontinentals....Aussies play as a team. And if you dare question that, you have no business being on the same planet...

Cheers,

Naresh said...

hey - your thank you sachin list is not updated with virat kohli's (implied) thank you.

Naked Cricket said...

Naresh, worse, we even gave Dada's thank you a miss - he thanked Sachin for his captaincy. Ripley's couldn't believe it either.

Naresh said...

NC - well, from Gung-ho-ly's point of view it WAS good captaincy - he got to open in the ODIs ;)