When the world ends, will Che Pujara still be batting?
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Batting School!
No, not betting school but batting school. Ever wondered why different batsmen approach the game somewhat differently ? It's simply because there' a difference in the schooling of these batsmen. Bored brings you a list of the top Batting Schools around the world.
The M.K. Gandhi School of Batting - These batsmen do not bat. They offer Satyagraha - a form of nonviolent resistance. Batsmen graduating from this school believe their bat is a destructive weapon and therefore use it as little as possible. That is not to say they don’t spend many hours at the crease. On the contrary, a batting Satyagrahi spends, on an average, 3.24 more hours at the crease than any other batsman in the team. The career of these batsmen is not measured in terms of runs scored but in terms of number of balls left outside the off stump. When a fast bowler (to the satyagrahi, the oppressor) runs in hard every over only to see his deliveries left alone it causes him severe exhaustion and frustration. This tactic is the chief weapon of the satyagrahi. The fielders are rendered useless due to sheer brain inactivity. Famous alumni from this school include Sanjay Manjrekar, Sunil Gavaskar, Ravi Shastri & Marvan Atapattu.
The Adolf Hitler School of Batting Studies - Batsmen graduating from this school attack at the crease, attack on the field, attack at press conferences and attack at the bar. When captainng their sides, they could attack during the toss too. They come out to bat as if someone has questioned their manhood. When these batsmen are unleashed on a particularly batsman friendly pitch, folks at Amnesty International work overtime. Prominent alumni include Viv Richards, Adam Gilchrist, Tilekaratne Dilshan, Andrew Symonds and Shahid Afridi.
The KLPD School for Batsmen - "Flatter to Deceive" is the motto of this school. Batsmen from this school typically score a century or two quickly to "cement" their place in the side and then remain in the side for as long as 2-3 revolutions of the sun. Mohd. Ashraful is the brand ambassador of this school whereas Rohit Sharma, Virat Kohli are the Indian graduates. The terms "beautiful 30" and "failing to convert the 30s into 50s and the 70s into 100s" are commonly used for these batsmen.
To be Continued....
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Boomerang Boomerang Afridi :
For reasons almost as inexplicable as Shahid bhai himself , Afridi's dismissal somehow took me back to the Ind vs Eng test in Delhi , winter of 1984-85 when Kapil Dev holed out in the deep at a crucial stage on the last day. That had India hole-ing out even deeper , going on to concede that test and later the series 1-2. (That was Azza's legendary 3 centuries-on-debut series )
Skipper Sunny bhai was so unamused that he had the greatest Indian cricketer ever (as he subsequently went on to term praji) sacked for the remainder of the series. If memory serves me well Kapil praji did his damdest to return the favour later when it was his turn to be boss. On whether he succeded or not my memory does not serve me at all (or serves me only as well as Sunny and Kaps probably served each other). But those two sure did go at each other a fair bit.
And that's the difference with Shahid bhai. While Sunny bhai and Kapil praji went at each other , Shahid bhai only goes at Shahid bhai. The man is so self critical ! He probably calls himself Boo Boo Afridi. I bet if Afridi was bowling to Afridi , Afridi would give Afridi a massive, contemptuous charge down the track. And possibly hole out in the deep.
by Bhaskar Khaund
Lalit Modi - Love him, hate him…
He didn’t allow a free regime in sports.
Any sport or game shouldn’t be the franchise of only the rich, famous and powerful. If you look at Golf (in India), which is supposedly a sport only the rich and famous indulge into there are many among the top 10-20 golfers in the country who started off as caddies. Don’t think these are the Steve William’s of India. These are kids from poor families who worked in a club fetching the bag and balls of the rich and famous. I am not sure if the golfing establishment in India did anything to throttle these caddie turned players, leave alone small bickering here and there. I am talking about organized throttle here.
That is precisely why I don’t like Lalit Modi, the way he throttled ICL. And in effect took away a valuable couple of years from some promising Indian talent, the way he did it was despicable. I am sure we remember the extent his regime stooped to those days. Denying use of facility for those who signed up to the ICL, cancelling the pension of the ex-cricketers who were part of ICL were some gems we would remember. If only the PCR (Prevention of Civil Rights) Act of 1955 could be used against the IPL, there might me more cases than all those pending cases in the Indian courts.
But as they say “Every dog has its day”. Modi had his day and also saw its end. And when it did end, it ended as a shock to him of course and to the cricketing world as a whole. While one could say he has been paid back by the same coin, it might be a little harsh to say that.
Whatever he is, this is the man who made the Indian cricketing establishment sit up, be respected and feared by the other boards and the ICC. The man whose marketing techniques ensured the world had to buy the arguments of Shashank Manohar’s father Mr. Manohar and let “The Obnoxious Weed” off (make no mistake, I am not justifying what the Aussies did). It is the Indian money that the other cricket boards envy and fear about.
And Modi got them the money and with it came the new muscle.
Although Modi hijacked the idea from ICL, he still applied his mind like every boss in the world does to give that idea a bit of tweak and make it his.
There wasn’t a concept of franchise in ICL, Modi got all his rich, famous & powerful friends to come in and buy a team. There were people who said he is copying the western model of club sports, that he was trying to replicate the Super Bowl. There were also a few who went a bit farther and said IPL would the Super bowel (aka Shit) of cricket. That it would fail, collapse etc. We have seen 3 editions till date, and one last year where Modi took on the Indian government and moved the IPL to South Africa. Still, it was successful.
IPL gave life, money and fame to almost everyone who talked, wrote or involved in it. Including those who wrote books about the IPL model, talked about the economics of the league and even to a guy who masqueraded as a Fake IPL Player during the last season. This guy is now promoting his book across platforms, thanks to IPL & more importantly to its creator, Lalit Modi.
A couple of years ago we only saw shirts & trousers (of players) that had a logo. Modi rewrote the rules, now we see many logos that make up the shirt & trouser. Advertisers thought T20 was too quick a game that doesn’t offer enough advertising time. Modi made sure there were enough advertisements (meaning many happy advertisers who feasted on the eyeballs that IPL created) by creating the concept of a “Timeout” in cricket. He even branded the hits, catches, misses and almost everything imaginable in the game and even more like the annoying blimp, commercials on the big screen in the ground between balls.
Now that the business model is established and is getting the returns BCCI wanted, they don’t want Modi. This is typical of the BCCI and the brand of politics we have seen there. Dalmiya, Rungta, Lele, Dungarpur are examples of those who fell prey to the same brand of politics they espoused.
In all these there are some interesting questions that might well have some very interesting answers. Will we have those interesting answers out in the public domain is a million dollar question. Sp here are the questions…
You had a IPL governing council with some full and part time politicians as members. Would you want to exonerate those governing council members and bring in charges only on Modi?
Shouldn’t a Rajeev Shukla or a Sunil Gavaskar or Ravi Shastri be equally held responsible for what has happened?
Is Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi’s “we should have… We didn’t ” interviews in media be considered an excuse to let the governing council off while Modi is vilified?
How justified is Shashank Manohar trying to put the blame squarely on the professionals who were part of the IPL set up for all that has happened ?
To top it all, this is probably the second time Sharad Pawar has been unusually quiet since the food grain shortage issue was discussed in the Indian parliament.
All this said… I think Modi is going to make a comeback soon as the IPL commissioner. What do you think?
It happens only in Indian cricket!!
10 New Year Resolutions That Will Never Come True
10. New Zealand batsmen: We won't let Dan "The Man" Vettori come to the crease before the scoreboard reads 200.
9. Australian batsmen: We will put the team before personal milestones by bringing up our hundreds with a six.
8. Ian Healy: I will not wear baggy green thongs to the Channel 9 commentary box.
7. Rohit Sharma: I will not throw away my wicket.
6. Ravi Shastri: I will refrain from using cliches like "Down to the wire" and "Like a tracer bullet".
5. Pakistan Team: We will hold on to our catches.
4. Sunil Gavaskar: I will not mention Sachin Tendulkar in every other sentence I speak.
3. Harbhajan Singh: I will take wickets.
2. Lalit Modi: I will not monetise every trivial event during an IPL game.
And the Number One New Year Resolution for 2010 That Will Never Come True is...
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Bored Cricket Crazy Indians: We won't bore our patrons with any more Thank You Sachin posts!!!!
Pot Kettle Black
Scene 1: Sri Lanka v/s England at Johannesburg
Angelo Mathews is run out attempting a second run. He would have probably not made his ground even if the bowler hadn't accidentally impeded his line of running. Mathews throws a major tantrum. Andrew Strauss, the opposing captain withdraws the appeal and Mathews stays at the crease
Scene 2: India v/s Sri Lanka at Nagpur
Gautam Gambhir pushes the ball to mid on and takes off for a single. Chanaka Welegedera takes a brief look at the batsman and tries to get back to the stumps. Well, only if the stumps are five yards away from where they usually are. Mathews takes aim and throws down the stumps while Gambhir bangs into the bowler and is well short of the crease. The batsman throws his bat in disgust while the Sri Lankans celebrate. The commentators decide to ignore Welegedera's actions and call it an unfortunate run out.
Scene 3: Australia v/s India at Brisbane
Gautam Gambhir drives Michael Clarke to mid-off, the bowler moves across and takes out Tendulkar with a tackle, pulling him down. Tendulkar isn't bothered but Ravi Shastri goes ballistic in the commentary box and you can hear him ask someone in the background to put up the replay. He is clearly unhappy about Clarke's behaviour and makes sure everyone knows about it.
There are two issues to consider here. The first one is that the player who was called back when he felt he was obstructed was more than happy to celebrate effecting a similar dismissal. His captain seemed to have no problem with that either. This is the same captain who felt his team lost out on atleast 500 runs because of umpiring mistakes.
The second, and the more important issue is that of how people perceive similar situations completely differently based on their prejudices. We keep talking about how cricketers and officials from white countries use different yardsticks to judge people of different races when we are no different. One wonders how Gavaskar would have reacted if the last name of the bowler who impeded Gambhir was Johnson instead of Welegedera. It's no use calling out the Athertons and Healys for their biased attitude when our so-called greats do the same from the comfort of their commentary box. The cricketing world has been split down the middle and neither side is willing to give an inch. I hope it changes. If it doesn't, I know what sport I won't be encouraging my kid to take up.
Boring Cricket Commentating Idiots XI
With commentary being such an integral part of the cricketing experience, it's only fitting that there was a discussion on the best in the business. There have been teams of the year and sides of the century, but honours don't come much greater than being part of the greatest collection of commentators to have irritated us with their cliches and prejudices. So with much satisfaction and a large dose of fear, BCC! is introducing the definitive search for the all-time crappiest commentators from all the Test-playing countries.
It's time we recognized the booming voice of Ravi Shastri, the patronising comments of Sir Ian Botham, those anti-white remarks of Sunil Gavaskar. Ian Healy needs to be appreciated for wearing his baggy green in the Channel 9 commentary box. And this list wouldn't be complete without Tony Greig who is in a tririlemma about what team to call his own. Make no mistake, the competition will be tense and since there can only be a team of 11, something will have to give. Rest assured the race will go down to the wire.
In order to ensure none of these commentators slip through the web, I encourage our readers to nominate the commentators that have enriched their cricket-viewing experience with their description of the bleeding obvious. We're talking about the kings of cliches, the princes of bad puns, the badshahs of bias. Nominations are welcome until 00:00 GMT on Sunday, December 6. Once the nominations are in, due diligence will be done to examine their commentating credentials. The list will be divided into groups based on the commentators' primary job when they were cricketers. Our XI will comprise 2 opening batsmen, 3 middle order batsmen, an allrounder, a wicket-keeper, 3 pace bowlers and a spinner.
Voting with start from Monday, December 7 with readers choosing their opening batsmen. It will continue for 7 days, after which it will be turn of middle order stalwarts. This will continue for six weeks, after which BCC! will announce the Elite Eleven.
In case you're wondering what's in it for the voters, there is absolutely nothing. However, it does give them a chance to hurl abuses at commentators, share their favourite quotes, basically provide further evidence of how bored and cricket crazy they are.
Bring on some fresh blues - I
The BCCI was justifiably alarmed at the steady, if unspectacular slump in the performance of the Blue batters. ‘They have gone from beating everyone black and blue to going blue in the face at the sight of a willow’ screamed the headlines. This lead to much consternation in the BCCI and they sacked the physio without informing him. A final decision was also made to drop Yuvi and test a new talent.
To this end, the BCCI hastily organized an Emerging Blue Tournament at Motera, to congregate all the possible batting contenders who have at least a tinge of turquoise in them. The pitch, despite five days of play, was in excellent condition.
All the batting prospects were collected under one roof and given a chance to display their unquestionable talents. Kris Srikkanth, as chief selector was at hand to provide the final say on who could be given a chance at Kanpur. Ravi Shastri and Sunil Gavaskar were at hand to provide insightful comments and aid Srikkanth in making the decision.
The batsman lined up. First out of the hut was Suresh Raina, who was mistaken for a staff’s kid on the way to the middle. After a lengthy clarification, Raina whipped out his ID and ignored the collective gasps when he stated he was indeed 22, not 12. Undeterred, he began with some deft strokes towards mid on. The bowlers bowled short, full, wide of off and leg but were treated with equal disdain as Raina proceeded to chop, heave, pull and drive everything towards midwicket, as is his wont.
Srikkanth, always the sagacious one, observed ‘Eh, machaa? Why do you plaay yeverytheeng yon the leg saide??’
To this Raina excitedly countered, ‘This is nothing! I’m practicing on developing cover drives and square cuts which also end up in midwicket!!’
Suitably flummoxed, Srikkanth looked on either side for inspiration. Gavaskar mumbled on about how Greg Chappell had ruined Raina as a batsman and about how all this was Australia’s fault. Shastri was missing as he had gone to obtain some lozenges for his throat which was sore from screaming in delight at each of Raina’s shots. Srikkanth indicated for the next man to walk in.
Rohit Sharma jaunted in with a flourish. He proceeded to play five balls of every over beautifully, with grace and precision. Somehow, he always managed to get himself out on the sixth. He then proceeded to tell everyone that he was a young player and he was still developing and that was how developing players played.
As he droned on, Gavaskar looked at the floodlights and wondered whether the lack of light could be a reason for Sharma’s non performance, in spite of his obvious talent. ‘Probably imported from England. Those whites always try to screw us’ he muttered to himself.
Rohit’s whining was interrupted by Srikkanth, who said ‘Taalent, machaa! Taalent is yaal you need! Rest not important! You tamil, no?’ On being informed that he was telugu, not tamil, Srikkanth abruptly lost interest and waved him away.
Next in line was Badrinath who just proceeded to introduce himself sending Srikkanth into raptures. ‘This ess yexactly what we need!’ he said. Shastri, lozenged and rejuvenated, roared in agreement making Srikkanth duck for cover. Gavaskar voiced his assent by declaring that Badrinath was the ‘CEAT’s cricketer of the week.’
But the most promising contender was still to prove himself. Pujara had disappeared from the scene. ‘Che kyan che?’ questioned the Gujarati groundsman, oblivious to the underlying humour.
An exhaustive search was carried out and finally yielded a note of explanation in the locker room. It seems ‘Che’, a hitherto unknown computer freak, had come onto this blog of dubious quality which had a picture of his face morphed onto that of an Argentine revolutionary on its homepage. Inspired by this, he decided to dedicate his life to fight the prevailing injustice in India. He’d even left a book behind, tentatively titled ‘The Batting diaries’ which tabulated the injustice in cricket in India.
As Shastri mourned for a talent he had not seen, but was sure about and Gavaskar thumbed through Che’s biography and settled on a chapter titled ‘They call Praveen Kumar a fast bowler? It’s injustice!’, Srikkanth was at a loss of words, probably for the first time in his life.
After great contemplation, our Chief Selector finally remarked ‘Maybee deyar ess some thing in yimporting taalent from Sauth Africa…..can’t be too different fraam sauth India!’ resulting in groans being elicited from all present. The search for the next batting blue continues….
by Rohit Pillai
Short Captains
Is cricket the one game where the captain is usually one of the shorter members of the team? I was thinking this when I saw a photo of Ricky Ponting standing next to Mitchell Johnson. Ponting is 5 feet 10 inches while Johnson is 6 feet 2 inches.
Usually cricket captains are batsmen. Batsmen are generally shorter than the bowlers, especially the fast bowlers. So it does seem that generally cricket captains will not usually be the tallest player in the team.
KhufiaBaaz: Sunny Bhai still scared of 'Beamer' and 'Bouncer'!

Sunny Bhai is one funny Bhai...fearless against the new ball only to be fearful of 'Beamer and Bouncer' who are Ravi Shastri’s dogs! Don’t see Sunny Bhai going to MS’ place anytime soon, there’s a real bitch there!
What is in a name
There are lots if you asked me, I am not going to list what is, now. Let us look at how a cricketing father named his son and probably explore reasons why he named so.
When you decide to take a name from Ramayan, Angad. A name even Ramanada Sagar would have some difficulty locating. He was the son of Vaali and Tara, nephew of Sugriv.
You don’t stop there, in fact go a step further. Yes, take the name of your favorite cricketer of that time, split it and add it with the other half of another cricketer you like and put that as a middle name.
No, that is not enough of a name you say. And then add your family name and the name of the clan you belong to.
Then comes the name “Angad Gavasinder Singh Bedi”. Let me expand the name for you, Angad Gavaskar Mohinder Singh Bedi.
Yes it is (Sunil) Gavaskar & Mohinder (Amarnath).
This name has some kind of a funny aura around it. Makes you burst out laughing the moment you hear this name, doesn't it ?
Well “What is in a name ?”
When your father is the temperamental acerbic Bishen Singh Bedi, then you never know when the name would change and to what.
Those (these) days he doesn’t like Gavaskar, he would drop the middle part completely. And you become Angad Bedi.
Now imagine a scenario when he likes Greg Chappell and Maurice Odumbe ? How horrible the (new) middle name becomes.
So, what is in your name ?
Picture courtesy: The Hindu
The week it was…
Strange last 7 days it has been for world cricket. There have been certain things that happened which nobody could ever have imagined.
No, not Bangladesh blanking the duplicate Westindian team
Not the (latest) winningest position Pakistan are at, from where they could scrape through some dead rubber
Not England, not Freddie, not Achilles or Pietersen and not anything at all to do with the elated English cricket establishment.
Oh, all the not’ would be naught’ if I forgot to mention that I am not talking about Ponting’s humility accepting a defeat
So what am I talking about ?
There was this ICC Centenary History Conference that happened in Oxford. There were some known names like Clive Lloyd, Sunil Gavaskar, Bob Willis, Angus Fraser & Ehsan Mani. Some not so known names like Roger Knight (Ex-Secretary MCC), David Richards(ICC’s first CEO), Rachael Heyhoe-Flint (Ex-England women’ captain), Charlotte Edwards & Ebony Rainford-Brent (current England women’ team), a group of journalists and one name which people in the cricketing cricles would run away from, Bishen Singh Bedi.
Bedi participated in a discussion (really ??) with Lloyd. The most surprising thing is that there is no mention of what Bedi spoke in this conference in any of the sites I searched for. I am sure Clive Lloyd outspoke the acerbic tongued Sardar.
Who would have imagined this ?
Well all this apart, who would have imagined that they would waste days discussing about the history of this great game in the last 100 years ?
Simple & uncomplicated history this great game is, one could finish telling the story in just three lines. Yes I am not joking.
“A game invented by the English
Played by champion Westindies & Australian teams (pepper it with other countries if you like !!)
Taken over completely by the Indian money managers”
Long live this great game !!
Long live the money & its Indian managers !!
The Kar that drives Indian cricket
Before I get to some hard facts, let me put some disclaimers up front
a) Discrediting or tarnishing greats from Mumbai is not my aim (through this post). Am just trying to clear some air
b) Being a student of Indian cricket history for a while now, I fully respect and acknowledge the laurels that illustrious Mumbai cricketers have brought to the BCCI and to the Indian cricket fan
c) Personally, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar and Sunil Manohar Gavaskar would probably rank among the crème de la crème of world cricket, and they are from Mumbai
Now to some hard facts
i) There is a notion in Indian cricket that Bombay or Mumbai drives the Indian cricket. Any student of Indian cricket history would agree with this notion. The Pentangular, which could be termed the grandfather of Indian domestic cricket or Indian competitive cricket is from Bombay.
ii) BCCI the mother of cricket in India and the big brother of world cricket today is based at Bombay.
iii) If you asked a non Indian cricket fan for 3-4 Indian cricketing venues, Bombay or Mumbai would probably among the first two they say.
All these apart, there are also a couple of misnomers like the Mumbai players have always steered Indian cricket. More specifically the “Kar's” drive Indian cricket.
I would beg to differ with those who say that the Kar’s drive Indian cricket. For they have been lucky enough on two counts.
a) Being born in Bombay or Mumbai
b) Being part of a golden or at least a bronze era of Indian cricket where there were a couple of others (bowlers or batsmen) who would support them
Just to illustrate those two supposedly outrageous statements I’ve just made are some statistics.
Shown below is the list of the top 20 run makers for India in test cricket
I have purposely left Polly Umrigar out of the calculations, this great man played for Gujarat & the Parsees other than representing Bombay.
So we are now talking about the top 19
We have 7 from Bombay and 12 from the rest of India.
This is a summary of what we see
1) The 7 players from Bombay played an average of 151 innings among them as opposed to 147 when it came to the rest of India players (this is in spite of the ROI players playing more tests than the Bombay players)
2) ROI players have scored more runs than the Mumbai players
3) ROI players have the record for the top 3 highest scores
4) ROI players have scored more hundreds & fifties than the players from Bombay
5) Bombay players have scored 54% of the ducks scored by the top 20 (19)
The mosaic shown above tells you more than these 4-5 points I have mentioned.
One very important thing it tells us is this…
Kar’s may come and Kar’s may go
May be we don’t get anything like these two great models of Kar’s anymore
But Indian cricket would go on for ever
It is not the Kar’s who drive Indian cricket, it is the Indian cricket which drives everyone
Stats courtesy cricinfo.com
Where is the next 'batting-kar' for India?
SMG and SRT together have given Indian Cricket an enduring legacy and also held the standard of Bombay cricket flying high in the Indian team for almost 4 decades. As long as I have been watching Cricket, there has been a tough as nails run hungry Bombay batsman at the top of the Indian batting order - more often than not carrying the entire Indian batting. That is why I am surprised when people don't appreciate what a momentous change it will be when SRT finally hangs up his shoes. Where is the next Mumbai top order bat to carry the nation's hopes on his shoulders? Where is the next 'batting-kar' for India? What's wrong with Bombay cricket that it is unable to produce the next successor of India's most famous Cricketing dynasty?
by Yenjie
It's just not the little things that make Gavaskar and Tendulkar similar.
On the face of it, you got two little masters. Beyond that, you have a Guru-Shishya relationship, maybe even that of an uncle and his favourite nephew – and because of the nuances of this indefinable relationship, you have something special, far smoother than the whiskey by the same name.
Early days, weren’t Sachin and Kambli both prolific? And weren’t both of them from the same masti ki patshalla – one found Sunny Bhai, the other trouble. One kid’s career spanned three decades, the other, do you even remember?
While Sunny took Sachin under his wing, and nurtured him from an early cricketing age –you cannot discount Rohin Gavaskar’s contribution (by default).
Arguably, SMG has been India’s most competitive cricketer. He also has a very good cricketing eye – in Rohan, he would have at a very early age known that Jr. will not scale those dizzy SMG heights, far from it. In Sachin, he saw his successor. In a way, it’s just a quirk of fate that Sachin is Tendulkar, and not a Gavaskar.
It doesn’t take the curator from the Louvre to tell you, that in Sunny and Sachin you have two very similar pieces of art. While Sunny was the first, a classical masterpiece, Sachin is modern art. But if there was no Sunny, there would have been no Sachin. They are both made from the same mould.
Crucially, Sachin imbibes Sunny’s hunger. And if you flip back, it was SMG who once said that he would personally spank Sachin if he didn’t score a hundred tons. I won’t be surprised if this is what spurs Sachin on.
Happy Bored Day to John Buchanan's favourite people.
Happy B'day Sunny. Day Before was Dada, and a few days before that Bhajji. Somewhere in between was MSD's b'day, funny nothing nasty on him?
Dope on the technical committee…
here are the suspects who decide whether a suspect action is suspect or is wrongly suspected by the suspective (is that a word) umpires:



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