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The legend of Ultappha

by Dhaanu

Robin U was once lying in his hotel suite gazing at the pictures of the "king of good times" cavorting with swimsuited hotties (which had been compulsorily put on the walls with a penalty of $5000 for removal or defacement of the same). As he admired the ampleness of the king, he wondered, "what is my legacy da?"

He had achieved a lot in his life. He had won India matches with the power of the inside and outside edges of his bat. He had been in the squad which won the inaugural T20 World Cup, a feat so awesome that it led to the IPL itself. He had been accused of stuffing money in the locker room by no one else but a Pakistani (being accused of wrongdoing by a Pakistani nutcase ranks just below an ICC level infinity offense and above allegations of ball tampering in terms of "you have arrived, people are so jealous"ity). He was so awesome that he was left out of the 3rd edition of the T20 World Cup. Who wants to see a one sided affair. Also Utthappha in West Indies =  Acute beer shortage for others.

Anyways, the Robin without the Batman was thinking about how to become immortal. The man had been blitzing sixes yet was being sent after Dravid of all people. Dravid? Who wants to see the cultured batting of the Wall when there is the awesomeness of the "ugly hoick over the boundry in any direction except where intended"? He had to do something lest the people will forget about him.

Then it struck him. He had to play a shot. A shot so ridiculously useless and risky that no one else would play it. If no one else plays it, he will be the only one to play it. Genius!! What about playing a reverse pull off a wide down leg side (thereby losing the extra run) to third man (irrespective of whether a third man is there. It has to be risky and useless, remember). When he unfurls it, people will be shocked ("WTF was that?"), surprised ("he wasted a perfect wide"), confused ("all that effort to get out?") and angry ("this is pieterson. I have the copyright to that shot. My lawyer will be talking to you."). Yes, that will do it. That will imprint his name in the minds of the cricket crazy universe. Now he just had to name it. What name will perfectly symbolize his awesomeness and the reverse nature of this mindboggling shot?

Thus was the Ultappha born. May the legend live on forever.


Anonymous said...

nice one..

straight point said...


Anonymous said...

That is being unfair to Uthappa. True, he does play some ugly shots, but I havent seen them this IPL. The hoick over cow corner is a shot that is being played by almost everyone in T20. RCB's trump card has been Uthappa this IPL, and the way he has been playing, he should be in the national team for T20s.