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Some questions about the IPL.

by Bored Guest

(thought about while pondering why there are no two matches today when it is a holiday while there were two on 31st March when half the Indian financial world was burning the midnight oil closing the damn books)

1. Why does the billion dollar IPL (as claimed by the greatest Lalit of them all) have to resort to pimping its cheerleaders on the mobile? Talking of cheerleaders, why are all of them white and look distinctly East European? Wasn’t there a KKR run reality show in 2009 to find an Indian cheerleader? What happened to her? Is it because….

2. Why is it that the commentary seems less about the cricket and more about fitting in corporate names even at the cost of making the elderly gentlemen who used to play the game sound like roadside hawkers selling mobiles, real estate, banking services and tires.

3. Speaking of tires, has anyone working for the billion dollar (heh!) entity even cared to do a Google Image search on a “blimp”?

4. Why is it that the bottom rung team always has to have some controversy on the sidelines? The Laxman- Gilly tug of wars in IPL 1, the Ganguly- Buchanan – SRK-Fakeiplplayer fracas of IPL 2 and now, the Yuvraj – Sangakarra nonsense. Can’t it simply be that the other seven teams are performing much better? Why is it that Yuvraj is struggling because of non cricketing issues? Can’t it be that he is just not that good as we thought?

5. Why is there no anti corruption unit member supervising the game? A “billion dollars” are at stake. We have team owners sitting in the players’ dugout, a place where no non team member should be even hovering around. We have lots of the shady types sitting in the members’ enclosure doing their “business” on their blackberries and other gizmos. If this were Sharjah, there would have been an outcry already.

6. Why is a nobody like Arjun Yadav even wearing a player’s uniform, let alone pocketing lacks of rupees? Is it because he is the son of a certain Shivlal Yadav? Speaking of sons, thankfully the cricketing exploits of the son of Bishen were not shoved down our throats. Is this the small return for us in return of us having to bear with his mike skills?

7. If this is not an ICC controlled event, why are the umpires standing belonging to the ICC elite panel. Wouldn’t they have preferred the rest from the hectic schedule which they often use as excuse when the umpiring in a Test or an ODI crosses the realms of crap?

8. Talking of umpires, why are there no referrals? Surely a billion dollar (love these two words) enterprise can afford these fine technologies which makes the game fairer. They can even hawk them (Hotmail Hot Spot anyone?). Also the referrals take time. Which means more ads. Guess Mr. Modi ain’t that bright after all.

by Dhaanu
Blogs at Bakwaas Bateein (Random Rambling of a raving borderline lunatic)

5 comments:

Nair said...

For God's sake...don't give him more ideas...

We're doomed now...(shaking head whilst depressing into hopelessness)

Homer said...

1a. http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/entertainment/srk-sends-back-his-desi-cheerleaders-team-without-a-single-match_100185831.html

1b. Has it been proven, beyond reasonable doubt, that the mobile promotion is used to solicit sex from the cheerleaders? If yes, why hasnt a criminal complant been filed against the IPL? If not, what is the basis of the allegation?

5. The ACSU is overseeing the IPL this year. That said, I really do not know how credible a deterrent the ACSU is, given that 9 years after its inception, it has yet to get an interview with Alec Stewart and has yet to categorically prove, or emphatically deny, the match fixing allegations against Younis Khan.

And speaking of the ACSU and "shady types" , let us remember that it is a ICC affiliated body. The very same ICC that has sanctioned international matches at Dubai (http://www.cricinfo.com/other/content/ground/392627.html). Funny thing you mention Sharjah, because the principals involved with the Dubai Sports city are the same (http://www.dubaisportscity.ae/articledisplay.asp?id=17).

Cheers,

Rishabh said...

At least CSK hasn't been forced to play Anirudha, Srikkanth's son. I guess the old man loves Chennai more!

Mahek said...

You spoke too soon, Rishabh. Anirudh is playing today.

Dhaanu said...

@Homer
1a. That was an issue regarding South Africa. IPL 3 is in India. What stops the lady from fulfilling her lifelong dream now?

1b. Soliciting sex would have been too much. I guess it would be just the softer version of the phone sex thingy advertised after midnight. Anyways the cheerleader ads have stopped. Someone must have noticed that they do not need to stoop to that level.

5. The anti corruption body of the ICC is toothless. In 1999 the entire smashing of the fixing racket was broken by the CBI. Which makes me think, what is stopping the CBI from looking into the IPL?