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(thought about while pondering why there are no two matches today when it is a holiday while there were two on 31st March when half the Indian financial world was burning the midnight oil closing the damn books)
1. Why does the billion dollar IPL (as claimed by the greatest Lalit of them all) have to resort to pimping its cheerleaders on the mobile? Talking of cheerleaders, why are all of them white and look distinctly East European? Wasn’t there a KKR run reality show in 2009 to find an Indian cheerleader? What happened to her? Is it because….
2. Why is it that the commentary seems less about the cricket and more about fitting in corporate names even at the cost of making the elderly gentlemen who used to play the game sound like roadside hawkers selling mobiles, real estate, banking services and tires.
3. Speaking of tires, has anyone working for the billion dollar (heh!) entity even cared to do a Google Image search on a “blimp”?
4. Why is it that the bottom rung team always has to have some controversy on the sidelines? The Laxman- Gilly tug of wars in IPL 1, the Ganguly- Buchanan – SRK-Fakeiplplayer fracas of IPL 2 and now, the Yuvraj – Sangakarra nonsense. Can’t it simply be that the other seven teams are performing much better? Why is it that Yuvraj is struggling because of non cricketing issues? Can’t it be that he is just not that good as we thought?
5. Why is there no anti corruption unit member supervising the game? A “billion dollars” are at stake. We have team owners sitting in the players’ dugout, a place where no non team member should be even hovering around. We have lots of the shady types sitting in the members’ enclosure doing their “business” on their blackberries and other gizmos. If this were Sharjah, there would have been an outcry already.
6. Why is a nobody like Arjun Yadav even wearing a player’s uniform, let alone pocketing lacks of rupees? Is it because he is the son of a certain Shivlal Yadav? Speaking of sons, thankfully the cricketing exploits of the son of Bishen were not shoved down our throats. Is this the small return for us in return of us having to bear with his mike skills?
7. If this is not an ICC controlled event, why are the umpires standing belonging to the ICC elite panel. Wouldn’t they have preferred the rest from the hectic schedule which they often use as excuse when the umpiring in a Test or an ODI crosses the realms of crap?
8. Talking of umpires, why are there no referrals? Surely a billion dollar (love these two words) enterprise can afford these fine technologies which makes the game fairer. They can even hawk them (Hotmail Hot Spot anyone?). Also the referrals take time. Which means more ads. Guess Mr. Modi ain’t that bright after all.
by Dhaanu
Blogs at Bakwaas Bateein (Random Rambling of a raving borderline lunatic)
Some questions about the IPL.
Some thoughts about the IPL
(thought about while Akshay Kumar was jumping around like a monkey and laughing like a donkey)
1) Win or lose, someone makes money – IPL 1 was the beginning. There were the DLF Maximums and the Citi Moments of Success. We stifled a puke. IPL 2 introduced the strategic timeout. We almost barfed. Now in addition to the DLFers, we have the Karbonn Kamaal Catches. And ads between deliveries. Shots of the MRF blimp thingy. Lots of shots of the MRF blimp thingy. Akshay Kumar heehawing, Gauti – Viru doing a Brokeback imitation, players singing “Ooh La La La La”…cannot control it, gotta go hurl.
2) Owners or mascots – More than the players, the franchises are increasingly being recognized by their team owners/mascots, especially the female ones. Preity Zinta is KXIP, Nita Ambani is MI and Shilpa Shetty is RR. A great shot by Tendulker and the next shot is of Nita Ambani with her half an inch smile. A diving stop by Yuvraj (becoming a rarity these days) and we see Zinta jumping up and down. What better way to target the female demography which controls the remote control in the Indian homes than to show someone whom they can identify with the most?
3) Harsha Bhogle is God – Amidst all the nonsensical soundbytes about tracer bullets, huge shots (which barely cross the ropes) and double Ds, there is one beacon of hope, an oasis in the desert, a diamond of the coal mine, a….should stop (hearing too much commentary is injurious for mental health),. He goes by the name of Harsha Bhogle. The man is awesome enough to talk sense even while burdened with compulsorily plugging those sponsors. The man was the first to mention ICL and get away with it. He also spoke words to the effect of “The law is an ass”. And he also is self assured enough to tolerate jokes about his brand new hair.
4) Welcome to E..E…Extraa Innings – You want any proof of Set Max trying to capture the eyeballs of the ladies. I present you the hosts (in the set and on the field). All chosen based on the symmetry of their faces, broad shoulders and proven track record of attracting the ladies. Only thing forgotten by the worthies working for the channels was checking the effect brought about by the “hunks” exercising their vocal chords. For proof of that, I submit before you the only exhibit required – Angad Bedi!! The only thing he is good at is wearing a too small for his biceps suit. His stammering makes SRK’s talking seem normal. He looks petrified before the camera and he makes you do something totally against his brief- change the channel. However one good side effect of hiring this flesh and blood mannequin is that the ranting of a certain retired left arm slow bowler have ceased. For the time being.
5) The ICL effect – Who among the new Indian players seem promising to you? Most of you will pick Sathish, Rayadu, and Jhunjhunwala among others like Tiwari and Tiwary, Naman Ojha and half the RR side (Warne is awesome btw.). The common thread that binds the first three chaps is that they were earlier known as the ICL rebels. These are not the only one. Waiting in the wings are other ICLers like Stuart Binny, G. Vighnesh and Ali Murthaza. One chance and I bet they would prove themselves invaluable. Two years in that league have certainly enhanced the skills of these guys. For that, ICL should be given its due.
6) Class: IPL 1 was not good for the senior citizenry of cricket with Tendulkar, Kallis and Gilly struggling to keep up with the relatively new format. IPL 2 saw them more attuned. IPL 3 is seeing them at their best showing the young turks why they are the real deal. Tendulkar’s “killing ‘em softly” strokeplay, Kallis’s all round excellence and Murali’s vicious turners (not to forget Vaas, Hayden and Kumble) are the real highlight of the IPL for me.
These are some of the random thoughts about the IPL crossing my mind today. And I have not even mentioned other awesome fellas like Agarkar. More to come.
by Dhaanu
blogs at Bakwaas Baatein (Random rambling of a raving borderline lunatic)
