by
achettup
You know what I really hate about the IPL? Thats right, everything! Brands flashed in your face every 5 seconds, commentators turned loquacious marketing whores, pointless gimmicks aimed at keeping audiences with low attention spans tuned in, cheap trinkets being auctioned at highly inflated prices (wait, maybe this hasn't happened yet, but it will!) and most of all cheerleaders... oh no, I don't mean our awesome desi-bred cheerleaders clad from head to toe in tastefully designed garments - I mean after all, that's what cheerleaders are for, right? - I mean those Eastern European imports (because I think its the flavor of the season to discriminate between types of women of "loose morals")...
I wish the IPL took a leaf out of an established cricketing house and their classy presentation of the main event, cricket... Like say, the pinnacle of cricket, Test Cricket, in a progressive country that holds on dear to tradition, like say Australia... Where the commentators aren't pushing tv shows on the same network every few minutes, where unhealthy fast food like KFC isn't pushed onto your face every 10 minutes, where pieces of wood stained by permanent markers or photographs aren't sold for thousands of dollars, where there are no gimmicks like kissing cams, where there are no beach stalls at unfinished stadiums consisting of fat, beer-guzzling patrons ogling at primped up beach barbie dolls.. Thats what I'm talking about, where the focus is on the cricket and the cricket alone, promoting test cricket before it can be killed by some disgusting format that appeals to fans who don't have the patience to understand its beauty.. and all those club teams with their silly names... scorchers was it?
Oh no, you won't see too much being written about that, but you'll keep seeing articles about how the IPL has destroyed Indian cricket... There is only one enemy in the cricket world, and as a recently deceased salesman of the game proclaimed, they don't respect the "Spirit of Cricket"... The future's looking so bright I need to wear my blinkered shades out to every game of cricket.
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by
Bored Guest
(thought about while pondering why there are no two matches today when it is a holiday while there were two on 31st March when half the Indian financial world was burning the midnight oil closing the damn books)
1. Why does the billion dollar IPL (as claimed by the greatest Lalit of them all) have to resort to pimping its cheerleaders on the mobile? Talking of cheerleaders, why are all of them white and look distinctly East European? Wasn’t there a KKR run reality show in 2009 to find an Indian cheerleader? What happened to her? Is it because….
2. Why is it that the commentary seems less about the cricket and more about fitting in corporate names even at the cost of making the elderly gentlemen who used to play the game sound like roadside hawkers selling mobiles, real estate, banking services and tires.
3. Speaking of tires, has anyone working for the billion dollar (heh!) entity even cared to do a Google Image search on a “blimp”?
4. Why is it that the bottom rung team always has to have some controversy on the sidelines? The Laxman- Gilly tug of wars in IPL 1, the Ganguly- Buchanan – SRK-Fakeiplplayer fracas of IPL 2 and now, the Yuvraj – Sangakarra nonsense. Can’t it simply be that the other seven teams are performing much better? Why is it that Yuvraj is struggling because of non cricketing issues? Can’t it be that he is just not that good as we thought?
5. Why is there no anti corruption unit member supervising the game? A “billion dollars” are at stake. We have team owners sitting in the players’ dugout, a place where no non team member should be even hovering around. We have lots of the shady types sitting in the members’ enclosure doing their “business” on their blackberries and other gizmos. If this were Sharjah, there would have been an outcry already.
6. Why is a nobody like Arjun Yadav even wearing a player’s uniform, let alone pocketing lacks of rupees? Is it because he is the son of a certain Shivlal Yadav? Speaking of sons, thankfully the cricketing exploits of the son of Bishen were not shoved down our throats. Is this the small return for us in return of us having to bear with his mike skills?
7. If this is not an ICC controlled event, why are the umpires standing belonging to the ICC elite panel. Wouldn’t they have preferred the rest from the hectic schedule which they often use as excuse when the umpiring in a Test or an ODI crosses the realms of crap?
8. Talking of umpires, why are there no referrals? Surely a billion dollar (love these two words) enterprise can afford these fine technologies which makes the game fairer. They can even hawk them (Hotmail Hot Spot anyone?). Also the referrals take time. Which means more ads. Guess Mr. Modi ain’t that bright after all.
by Dhaanu
Blogs at Bakwaas Bateein (Random Rambling of a raving borderline lunatic)
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by
Bored Guest
One would really have to be an avid cricketer to know that the "Cherry" is basically another name for the red cricket ball used in test matches.
Conversely, one needn't be an avid cricketer to know that the "Cherry" also refers to the nipples placed high, low or sideways on women's breasts. Yup, you bet they come in numerous placements.
When women, cricketing or otherwise, are dissatisfied with the positioning of their cherries (most have two), they have their little operations to 'set them right.'
Take a closer look at the IPL "Cheerleaders" (a.k.a. CherryLeaders), notice their melons... notice carefully where their cherries are placed on their respective mounds... look carefully because this is what 'Fruity Cricket' or 'Extravagant & Lucious Cricket' is all about...
Cherries = Nipples = Cricket Balls ... and that closes the circle, yet again!
Howzaattt?
God bless Lalit Kumar Modi,
God bless his IPL,
God bless all the CherryLeaders!
by Ajoy Eric Lal
Cherry watchin' is as much fun as watchin' cricket... and I didn't invent that, Lalit and the media did!
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