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Batting School!

by Bored Guest

No, not betting school but batting school. Ever wondered why different batsmen approach the game somewhat differently ? It's simply because there' a difference in the schooling of these batsmen. Bored brings you a list of the top Batting Schools around the world.

The M.K. Gandhi School of Batting - These batsmen do not bat. They offer Satyagraha - a form of nonviolent resistance. Batsmen graduating from this school believe their bat is a destructive weapon and therefore use it as little as possible. That is not to say they don’t spend many hours at the crease. On the contrary, a batting Satyagrahi spends, on an average, 3.24 more hours at the crease than any other batsman in the team. The career of these batsmen is not measured in terms of runs scored but in terms of number of balls left outside the off stump. When a fast bowler (to the satyagrahi, the oppressor) runs in hard every over only to see his deliveries left alone it causes him severe exhaustion and frustration. This tactic is the chief weapon of the satyagrahi. The fielders are rendered useless due to sheer brain inactivity. Famous alumni from this school include Sanjay Manjrekar, Sunil Gavaskar, Ravi Shastri & Marvan Atapattu.

The Adolf Hitler School of Batting Studies - Batsmen graduating from this school attack at the crease, attack on the field, attack at press conferences and attack at the bar. When captainng their sides, they could attack during the toss too. They come out to bat as if someone has questioned their manhood. When these batsmen are unleashed on a particularly batsman friendly pitch, folks at Amnesty International work overtime. Prominent alumni include Viv Richards, Adam Gilchrist, Tilekaratne Dilshan, Andrew Symonds and Shahid Afridi.

The KLPD School for Batsmen - "Flatter to Deceive" is the motto of this school. Batsmen from this school typically score a century or two quickly to "cement" their place in the side and then remain in the side for as long as 2-3 revolutions of the sun. Mohd. Ashraful is the brand ambassador of this school whereas Rohit Sharma, Virat Kohli are the Indian graduates. The terms "beautiful 30" and "failing to convert the 30s into 50s and the 70s into 100s" are commonly used for these batsmen.

To be Continued....

Pranav thought he'd play for India. An honest self evaluation of his cricketing talents made him realize that he would do well if he made the playing 11 of his college team for 2 consecutive games.
Pranav also blogs at


Siddharth said...

Awesome... looking forward to part 2

vmminerva said...

Very nice. Cheers!