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"Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! - I just called to say, I did it!"

by Gaurav Sethi

Early morning, Aamer is gently knocking at a door. Inside Shahid Bhai has just woken up, he yawns, then realizes he should go the whole hog – so his yawn becomes one of his big celebratory stretches. Knocking continues, much harder now.

Shahid Bhai (mock sings a song): Who’s that girl?

Aamer (feigning a smile): It’s a boy…Shahid Bhai…I’ve been knock..(stammers) knock…knocking

Shahid Bhai (mock sings a song): Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven’s DOOR! Haha! Why here, you should Knock Knock Knocking on heaven’s door

Aamer (breaks down): Shahid Bhai…that’s why I come to your door…

Shahid Bhai: Areh, I’ve just checked in, who showed you the door?

Aamer: Yousuf Bhai, he walked with me here, and showed me the door

Shahid Bhai: OK, sit down, I need to do my stretches…

Shahid Bhai prances around the room, and stretches arms heavenwards in front of every available mirror.

Shahid Bhai (applying toothpaste): What good is the stretch without the smile…now my 4 minute teeth yoga

He starts to brush his teeth furiously, Aamer looks down at his fingers.

Aamer (whispers): It was..Butt...

Shahid Bhai (through the paste foam): But?

Aamer: Butt told me…to do…what I did…

Shahid Bhai (spurts out his rinse): What? Does anybody know?

Aamer: Everybody.

Shahid Bhai (mock sings again): I’ll always be the last to know

Aamer: Why are you singing so much Shahid Bhai?

Shahid Bhai: O’ nuthin yaar…yesterday I met Scott from Scotland Yard, and he said, be prepared the police is gonna make you sing like a canary….when that happens, I wanna be the best singer (prances around singing with an imaginary mic) like a bird on a wire....

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