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"What's really upsetting is that no one's implying match fixing here", said one prominent Indian cricketer on the condition of strict anonymity. Fiddling with his heavily bandaged fingers and a voice like the mighty Mike Tyson, he spoke about how Pakistani players are privileged to have fans that never believe Pakistan can lose in a game fair and square. "After a career spanning 2 decades it really hurts when no one accuses you of match fixing when you lose so badly. What it means is that the fans truly believe we were actually mediocre. Its the truth, but I tell you it hurts"
At this time the entire Indian team is hurting. No one can understand why there are no match fixing allegations. In fact some are secretly hoping that their colleagues did accept bribes to play poorly. Many of them are in denial that they were actually as bad as the scorecards suggest.
"Well of course one can say that we lost on merit but it would be nice to know that there was some adulteration of merit with black money" said another prominent cricketer from his hotel room.
On the request of an unnamed BCCI cheerleader, the BCCI has pleaded with the ICC's Anti corruption Unit to start an inquiry as to whether any foul play was involved. The belief is that any talk of an official match fixing investigation will fuel talk of match fixing and that would do; according to the cheerleader "...a world of good" to the Indian team's morale. "Whenever the inquiry starts, the first hour will be crucial" he added once again on the condition of absolute anonymity.
- By Golandaaz; Visit his blog @ Opinions On Cricket, his facebook page and his tweets as @oponcr
Indians demand match-fixing allegations
On economy rates and net run rates
All Things Wise And Wonderful (and other animal stories)
So Bhajji now thinks Symonds is a great guy ( here)
Let's only hope there are no further Lost-In-Translation-And-Misconstrued controversies , especially of the animal-pertaining variety. Like, "guy" English versus "gai" Hindi ?
The truth behind Osama's death
you know you are an ipl fan...
if you celebrate the birth of your child as a 'city moment of success'...
if you call your boss a 'dlf maximum'...
if you explain power naps at office as 'strategic breaks'...
if you start counting the reducing numbers at the red light loudly... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
if you believe Paul Valthaty is the next big thing!
(via Govind)
Out of South Africa
When the media pounded Smith about this decision, Smith with his usual pugnacious attitude, responded, “Listen. I didn’t want Morne to better his personal record of 40. We would lose a genuine number 11 batsman and our selectors – you know how they are – they might get Gibbs back in to play at #11.” When pushed further, Smith revealed, “I didn’t want to upset the delicate clique balance we have in our team. And also, Morne might want a move up the order. As valid as that request may be, considering the kind of form Alviro and Ashwell have been in recently, I was keeping an eye on the upcoming series against India. You know Dhoni is going to spread the field as soon as Morne steps in to bat. This will give us an opportunity to score all the runs we want.”
Kaif back in the reckoning
Thank You Sachin!
Sachin, oh Sachin,
You always think of us, whether we’re having a good time watching the cricket, or an even better time, not watching the cricket. Today, you did something very special – you made sure we don’t watch the cricket.
This would not have been possible if you were playing for that 50th test hundred. Instead, you played for a forty. What does this say about you – You let us get back to our Diwali lives. How could I have hugged my folks if I was still watching you play? How could I have replied to Happy Diwali SMSes if I was hanging on to your every run? How could I have eaten that barfi? How could I have? How could I have answered that phone call, call of nature doorbell? How? How could I have taken my eyes of you, your fiftieth, no, not even a 39th Diwali could come in my way.
I speak for all Bored Cricket Crazy Indians. Thank You Sachin! Thanks for putting Diwali before your fiftieth test hundred. Tussi great ho!
In the scorecard it should read Sachin caught Happy bowled Diwali. Sounds crazy, hey, it’s Diwali, yaar! Happy to you, you Bored Cricket Crazy Indians, Happy to you Sachin. Happy!
Rain Might Play Spoilsport For Phone Tappers
After Hanse Cronje's conversations were tapped when he stayed at the Taj Gateway (then Taj Residency) in Kochi, cricketers have been keen to be moved to the city's other Taj, Malabar where the service is better and they don't play Boney M and Michael Jackson all day long at their restaurants, preferring instead Kenny G classics from the 1700s. This has upset phone tappers in the national peeping association who had no idea where the cricketers had been shifted to until Michael Clarke and Suresh Raina gave away their locations by posting pictures on twitter of the rainy scenery from their hotel windows. Eager phone tappers however have been hit by another force of nature as the city has been hit by stormy weather creating a natural disturbance in the background. Although unlikely it is possible a few Australian cricketers might officially announce within the hour that the rain is a conspiracy to defraud Pakistan.
"Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! - I just called to say, I did it!"
Early morning, Aamer is gently knocking at a door. Inside Shahid Bhai has just woken up, he yawns, then realizes he should go the whole hog – so his yawn becomes one of his big celebratory stretches. Knocking continues, much harder now.
Shahid Bhai (mock sings a song): Who’s that girl?
Aamer (feigning a smile): It’s a boy…Shahid Bhai…I’ve been knock..(stammers) knock…knocking
Shahid Bhai (mock sings a song): Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven’s DOOR! Haha! Why here, you should Knock Knock Knocking on heaven’s door
Aamer (breaks down): Shahid Bhai…that’s why I come to your door…
Shahid Bhai: Areh, I’ve just checked in, who showed you the door?
Aamer: Yousuf Bhai, he walked with me here, and showed me the door
Shahid Bhai: OK, sit down, I need to do my stretches…
Shahid Bhai prances around the room, and stretches arms heavenwards in front of every available mirror.
Shahid Bhai (applying toothpaste): What good is the stretch without the smile…now my 4 minute teeth yoga
He starts to brush his teeth furiously, Aamer looks down at his fingers.
Aamer (whispers): It was..Butt...
Shahid Bhai (through the paste foam): But?
Aamer: Butt told me…to do…what I did…
Shahid Bhai (spurts out his rinse): What? Does anybody know?
Aamer: Everybody.
Shahid Bhai (mock sings again): I’ll always be the last to know
Aamer: Why are you singing so much Shahid Bhai?
Shahid Bhai: O’ nuthin yaar…yesterday I met Scott from Scotland Yard, and he said, be prepared the police is gonna make you sing like a canary….when that happens, I wanna be the best singer (prances around singing with an imaginary mic) like a bird on a wire....
New IPL model for the national squad
England wants an apology from Butt.
england wants butt to apologise for his “deeply hurting” accusation that their players took a bribe to lose the oval odi...
english players were so badly hurt by the statement that they collapsed from 112 for no loss to 227 all out later at lord's...
when ecb chief executive david collier was confronted with the fact that trott not only called pakistani player wahab riaz a “match fixer” but hit him in the face with a pad... david said...
the incident was “fairly minor in nature”...
he also highlighted the numbers... butt accused the whole english team while trott called only one pakistani player a “match fixer”
david also said "there is protocol in place that says… although players can accuse… sledge… name call each other and occasionally hit them with pads…board chiefs are not supposed to indulge in such activities… besides trott has apologised so butt must apologise too…”
match referee crowe, when asked, why trott was not punished despite having hit riaz's face with a pad claimed match referees are supposed to stay awake ONLY when the match is being played.
Pollard to donate sperm to Mumbai Indians
Sreesanth breakdancing on Onam!
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| I'm not crazy, I'm actually Mad! |
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| Any resemblance to Alfred E Neuman isn't a coincidence |
Dharmasena apologises to Sehwag.
