The curious case of Beer

Date - 9th Dec 2010
Setting - Aussies selector meeting

Minutes:
Selector 1 - Mate, we are gathered here to mourn the untimely demise of Aus...
Selector 2 (interrupting) - Not yet. We still have 3 more to go. However, considering our form, you may need to wait just 1 more test (winks)..
Selector 1 - The player form or ours (winks back)
Guru G - Stop counting chickens before they hatch. We need to discover the diamond in our boys.
Selector 1 - I told you before, oh fingered one, lay off the big words. No cameras here.
Note - The selectors have no idea they are being Radiaed. (For international viewers - Assanged)
Selector 1 - Right, whom do we throw out?
Selector 2 - Bollie. I am worried he will tear out his hair after seeing the crap performance of his mates. We shall get back Mitch. He has already suffered permanent brain damage what with his radar, mum, chick and excess tattoos. Will not make a difference to him.
Selector 1 - Xavier too needs to go. He has had his chance and played his role perfectly.
Selector 2 - He did get KP. Though it would have been good if he had got him some 180 runs before.
Selector 1 - Whom do we now give a chance?
Selector 2 - Hauritz?
Selector 1 - White does not fancy bowling spin much anymore. And he ain't left arm slow.
Selector 2 - Hauritz?
Selector 1 - Kreztja? I cannot even pronounce his name. And he ain't left arm slow.
Selector 2 - Hauritz?
Selector 1 - Grimmett - He is dead. Even then, he ain't left arm slow.
Selector 2 - Hauritz?
Guru G - We need to think beyond left armers. I say let us bring on Trevor...
Selector 1 - Underarm is banned mate.
Guru G - Ohh sorry
Selector 2 - Hauritz? HAURITZ - Nathan "motherf***ing Hauritz??
Selector - It is decided then. There ain't any spinner of note remaining in Australia. We need to bring back Warne.
Guru G - Warney shall play only when he is allowed to wear pansy blue shit, bowl only 4 overs a day, get a chance to flirt with cheerleaders and CA chiefs and apply Moove to his creaking joints and muscles.
Selector 1 - We have a problem.
Selector 2 - H.....never mind.
Guru G - This is too much. I need a beer.
Selector 1 - Great thinking Guru G. Get me Beer.
Selector 2 - (shoots himself).