Claims they will help Pakistan copy ‘India’s Wall’
Afridi has done it again. He might well be on the verge of hanging his Pak playing boots, but he’s showing no signs of ever taking his foot out of his mouth. After thanking the people of Kashmir for supporting Pakistan, not once but twice, during World T20 matches in India, Afridi has thrown yet another spanner in the works: on reaching home, when asked about his Kashmir comments, Afridi was unfazed and determined to thank them yet again.
But it didn’t stop there. To everyone’s surprise, Afridi started to thank China. When asked if this was just another cheap trick to rile India, Afridi first agreed and then disagreed, as he often does in his quizzically fast manner of speaking.
When a reporter asked, if like the people of Kashmir, the Chinese too had supported the Pakistani team, it got a little confusing. Afridi started to ramble: “Yess there weres somes Chinese lookings people in not just the crowds but in many momo counters across the places who wanted to sign autographs with us and take the selfies too, they were happy and lookeds like they was supportings us yess. Their red chillies was entertainment like SRK’s company too”
The bonhomie over momos is the least it. Afridi suggested that China who built the Great Wall of China for their defence will help Pakistan cricket build the “Indian Wall” for their defence – that is, they will arm the Pakistani team with the ultimate defence, a batsman just like Rahul Dravid aka The Wall. Was this even possible, seeing as the Chinese know very little of cricket?
Afridi disagreed claiming that knowledge of cricket was unnecessary. Instead, he is of the opinion that cheap Chinese know-how will help Pakistan cricket tap the technology to zero-in on the aerodynamics of a player like Rahul Dravid. Afridi elaborated, “I have spokens to Chief Cricket Sci-fi Analyst Chu Le Tu in Forbidden City and his coordinates in Beijing and he is ultra confident that a player like Wall is once in a generation but seeing as we ares in the next gen now when can do his mapping and help builds a second player like minded and able bodieds like Dravid if we ares getting the right candidates to do testing on and he is also against animal testings so we are quite happy with the safe approach”
Bordering on the bizarre as usual, Afridi was quick to lose everyone’s interest. In the nick of time he started to talk of his possible retirement from Pakistan cricket. Only recently he had said he was fit to play for Pakistan but unfit for captaincy. Afridi added more of the same, further elucidating that he also felt unfit to be interviewed. He continued in the same vein, “But that will not stops me from taking or giving interviews because I speaks my minds and my hearts and I at times like you say, Ramiz Bhai (he said more out of habit than anything) it can be quite damaging because he’s a jolly good fellow who wears his heart on his half sleeves...”
The Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has distanced itself from Afridi’s latest comments. They have also issued a public apology to the BCCI and the people of Pakistan, India and China for all of Afridi’s past, present and future comments.
It is also learnt that Afridi wishes to pursue a career in either commentary, politics or Bollywood, and will be asking his children for their advice. When asked why he was asking his kids, he invoked Ramiz Raja yet again, “Ramiz Bhai always says childs is the fathers of man so I will go ask daddy, no kidding!”
When contacted, Ramiz Raja was at the beauty parlour having his hair blow dried. He hollered through the noise: “The IPL is round the corner, I gotta look my MAXIMUM!”(However plausible this may sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)