Bored Game: World T20 League Update

Finally there rain has stopped and the business end of the tournament has started after Bangladesh were upset by an unseeded Australia! Mahela Jayawardene is in sublime form with a low score of 81 after 3 matches and that motivates Jacques Kallis to keep scoring so that he can get the orange cap (Yes, he is still stuck in THAT mode) ! The Indians were undone by quality short pitch fast bowling AGAIN ( getting bored of this already). Kemar Roach and Jerome Taylor will be licking their lips to repeat what Fidel Edwards did @ Lords in 2009. The Aussie pace trio has been in top form and looks like they will win THIS as well unless someone stops them in the Semi-Finals at St.Lucia.

Things are hotting up in the Bored League as well with the usual suspects Ex-IBL Chief Mahek and Yours Truly in the Top 3. Mahek is at the top of the tree, followed by Technosiastic, who has no transfers left! We have Bored Members Purna, Achettup and Homer in 18th, 24th and 30th respectively Just one inspired pick from any of the top 5 will make sure they get into the top spot! Do make the BIG match players as your trumps as you never know when they will rise up to the occasion like Afridi did in the Semis and Finals of the previous WorldT20.

On a personal note, due to my crappy net connection and Cricinfo's error not to show the changes I made, 2 of my transfers were gobbled up when I was trying to fill my team up with English players and am paying for it BIG time now!

Do follow the League Table on Cricinfo

Aditya

Chairman and Commissioner

Bored Game : World T20 league

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Exit the bowling coach... Enter the bowling coach.

You know the story.. Venkatesh Prasad got the boot as bowling coach. Leading to a lot of breast beating ( and not a few snide remarks on the workings of the BCCI).The boot was ostensibly because of the decline in fortunes of India's next great bowling hope.

Which is why today's bowling effort was important. And what a bowling effort it was.

Ishant spoke to a lot of people today and a lot more people spoke to him. There was Nehra. And Kohli.. Delhi statemates. But not his India captain. Or his Delhi one.

But one man spoke to Ishant more than most. When he was not in the young man's ear he was more than willing to pull his ears, literally and figuratively. Standing at mid on, the little man spoke to Lambu.

But then again, he has been speaking to Ishant for a long time.. Remember "Ek Aur Over Karega?"

The God of Sehwagology is back. As is With him, India's bowling coach.

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Where are you Damith?

Have you gone into hiding?

Its alright buddy, its all fun and games, just entertainment, much like WWF!

Sure we spanked your behinds, but don't take it too seriously mate.

I told you that "one who laughs last, laughs best", but I guess you were too busy engrossing yourself with King Kumar's reaction to Younis Khan's suggestion that you totally missed that, didn't you?

That's alright, you can always go back, take a look at it, and enjoy a good laugh.

The last time around, I remember you asked what we would do when Dilshan plays one of his scoops.

Even then I said that it would not bother us. But this time, I actually wrote him a letter, requesting him not to play the shot in the final.

But he didn't listen to me. I'm sure you missed that too because you were too busy enjoying King Kumar's laugh, weren't you?

Who else did you mention last time? Ahh the one and only "Splendid" Mendis.

You do know that you're the only one who calls him "Splendid", don't you? I think you even coined that name; I believe its time you reconsider.

Against Pakistan he has been anything but that. I told you that last time too.

The 4-0-34-0 just proved that again; I bet you missed those figures since you were too busy smirking at King Kumar's laugh, weren't you Damith?

I remember the cat and the tissues you sent me last time; in response I mentioned that I live to fight another day.

Fortunately for me, that another day was a day that mattered more than last time.

So what do I send your way now?

At first, I thought I would return the favor.



But then I realized that tissues is not what you need my friend.

What you need is something that will save you from the haunting memories of this World T20 final.

What you need is something that will stop you from questioning yourself everytime you think, "Why did King Kumar laugh?" or "Why did I post that picture?" or "Why did I caption that picture that way?"

Hence, I picked this.



It will help deafen all that laughter from King Kumar that will haunt you forever. and ever. and ever.

Oh and it comes with a Lifetime Garantee!

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Reminder to Damith & King Kumar

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The Dubai Bored Chapter & The LUMS Connection

Khizer Bilal, Fahd Salam, Najia Habib, Afan Nabi Malik, Taimur Shera, Ashab Naeem, Umar Khan, Runaas Deheem, Qazi Owais, Kiran Khan, and I at the Time Cafe at Ramee Royal in Dubai.

That sounds like a mini LUMS (Lahore University of Management Sciences, where we all went for our undergraduate degrees) reunion, but that is not what it was.

The occasion was the World Twenty20 semi final between Pakistan and South Africa, where all of us were joined by Natasha, Sabrina, Mohi, Sonya, Amir Shera, Runi's wife and friends, Amir Rehan, Shikin, Bhaskar, and Raja B, to cheer Pakistan into the final!

The last 3 mentioned being Indians who were there in support of Pakistan as much as we were.

And the last 2 mentioned, Bhaskar and Raja B, were there to finally open the Bored Chapter in Dubai!

Bhaskar was there, blackberry in tow, providing LIVE updates of the happenings right here on BCC!

Raja has also captured the experience of that evening, right here.

10 years to this date, almost (20th June 1999), the above mentioned LUMS contingent along with many others had gathered together at the Sayeed Saigol auditorium to witness another cricket world cup final.

That day, Steve Waugh's men shattered all our dreams and hopes.

Men crying outside the Sayeed Saigol, in the courtyard, and every corner of LUMS on that unforgettable day is a sight still etched in my memory.

Last night, even though it was not a final, rather Pakistan's march into one, that was not to be.

The emotions we all went through during the match cannot be described in words.

Every run scored, and every wicket taken was celebrated as if we were in the field with the Afridis and Guls.

Every Afridi wicket brought about an Afridiesque pose from the crowd, every good over was met with cheers of 'jeetaga bhayee jeetega, Pakistan jeetega', every blunder was frowned upon and cursed, every moment that brought Pakistan close to victory was witnessed with stress and hope.

Once Pakistan triumphed, it all ended in high fives and hugs.

The fact that last night's match was experienced with all the people mentioned, made victory all the more special.

Come Sunday, here's hoping that Pakistan fulfill their and our 10-year old dream of lifting a world cup trophy at Lord's!

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What would have South Africa done?

If it were South Africa playing New Zealand instead of Sri Lanka, then despite winning all its previous games and looking like the best team on paper, South Africa would have made sure they didn't qualify for the semi finals.


They did it in 2007.


Sri Lanka showed them how not to do it in 2009.


So then, how many teams (besides Australia) have reached the semis unbeaten and gone on to play the final?

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What Kind of a Format Allows...

Pakistan to qualify for the semi finals after beating New Zealand, Netherlands, and Ireland...

But doesn't ensure Sri Lanka a spot after they have beaten Australia, West Indies, and Pakistan?

Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?

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What Were You Thinking Bravo?

First you get you get Gambhir, Dhoni, and the Pathan bros.

Then you come out to bat and smash Ojha, Bhajji, and Ishant around.

For good measure you even hit Zak out of the ground to end the game.

You do remember that Bhajji and Zak are your team mates don't you?

Did you know that Sachin was watching you from the stands?

What were you thinking!?

He wouldn't like what you did to his Mumbai Indians.

Oh wait, you're a Mumbai Indian too.

So were you trying to impress Sachin?

Were you playing for him?

Did you thank him after your man of the match performance?

Also see Naked ask Bravo who he plays for!

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Q Answers the Door

Thanks for the tissues Damith.

They were badly needed with my boxes emptying fast by all the Pakistani boys who came over to support.

I gracefully accept the defeat in this battle.

But I live to fight another day.

Congrats Sri Lanka, congrats Damith!

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I Knew Damith, but Did You?

Pakistan may have lost 4 of their last 5 ODIs to Sri Lanka but the fact is Damith, that Sri Lanka has never beaten Pakistan in a world cup game.

Be it an ODI World Cup, a World T20, or even a Champions Trophy, the Lankans have always gone down against the Pakistanis.

If any pattern is to be seen, this is the one Damith - when it matters, Sri Lanka just don't have it in them!

You mention Mendis' average, but what you miss is the all important stat that counts in T20 cricket - the economy rate.

Mendis has gone for 4.73 runs per over against Pakistan in ODIs, which is higher than his career ecomomy, and higher than his economy against any other nation.

He will be left scratching his head after he faces the wrath of the Pakistani blades, while Murali will hardly be of any help; we've been handling him for decades.

I have already told you about Dilshan's 3rd innings failures, so what he averages against Pakistan is irrelevant.

His form leading up to the match - also irrelevant. You call them pie chuckers, but after Dilshan's back in the pavilion, that is all he'll be doing. Eating pies!

Angelo Matthews who?

The top 4 may look rock solid but poor Mahela has hardly laid bat on ball, while the Silvas, Mubaraks, and whats their names in your line up are going to be fodder for the likes of Afridi, Ajmal, and Gul.

No chance in hell baby.

Malinga and Udana will be thwarted around, Matthews will be left wondering whether he should just remain outside the boundary, Jayasuriya will finally realize he's too old for the Pakistanis, King Sanga will face his first loss as captain, while the entire Sri Lankan fans will be left with the thought:

Why can't we beat Pakistan when it matters!?

(Bored Member Damith is from Sri Lanka where as Bored Member Q is from Pakistan; this is part of the Damith vs. Q BBC* Debate at BCC! for the Sri Lanka v Pakistan Super 8 game today. Rip into each other gentlemen)
*BBC - Bored Boys Chat

Click here for the complete Pak-Lanka Debate, start reading from down under.

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India ( - Jatman) vs West Indies (+/- the coolest Jamaican)

Amidst all the verbal jousting between Sri Lanka and Pakistan the Bored Members might have forgotten that Indians face a serious threat in the form of West Indies

Apart from Gayle, the windies dont really have a batsman who can carry out a sustained attack on the opposition but if the Dude gets going....... good luck to the bowlers
the fielding is rather pathetic, not that India has been any better this series.
What i am afraid of is Fidel and Taylor opening the bowling.
If the fast men get it right, life could get a bit difficult for the Indian Batsmen.
However, they do have the tendency to err in their lines n lengths
If things go well at the beginning, then india might be able to take the attack to the rest of the bowling.

As for India, Zaheer's spell in the last match was a relief, but that was only ireland
Gayle and co will be a different proposition altogether
the death bowling definitely needs improvement.
The middle order must get a decent hit, the business end of the tournament is here.
DROP IRFAN.

So lets wait and watch which team turns up to face India, Callypso Kings or Collapso Kings.

by Prafs

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Q, Did you know?

That Pakistan have lost 4 of their last 5 ODIs again SL?

That Dilshan averages a cool 48 v Pakistan compared to his career 31. I don't know about you but I think he likey the Pakistani attack.

That the last time we played you in a shortened format, we beat you by 234 runs. That is just wrong. Plain wrong.

And the game before that we beat you by 129. Do you see a pattern developing ol boy ?

I am not sure what you mean by Mendis has been figured out by Pakistan. Is it his average of 15 against Pakistan in ODIs or his 3 wickets in the one T20 he played against them? Which one is it?

If by any chance you are referring to the recent test series that was played on pitches flatter than 8 year old Keira Knightly (no dispect, she is a fine young lass), then shame on you Q. Shame on you.

Umar Gul, Tanvir and co usually become pie chuckers when they see old wrinkly face and Dilshan lining them up.

And you are yet to see the best of Matthews, who although DYNOMITE with his fielding is also pretty cool with the bat. Maybe he will join in the Pakistani wiping today. Of course that would have to mean he gets an opportunity to bat - Given that our top 4 are rock solid.

Yes Razaak is a worry. He is pretty cool no matter which way you look at it. However his new hairdo is all uncoolness. After all those years playing in the ICL does he still have what it takes to take on some real cricketers? The hairdo does indicate a softened head.

And while everyone focuses on Mendis, Old man Murali will silently snipe out whoever is left over after Slingas repotoire of yorkers.

How can Pakistan even think of winning? Why is Tom Cruise the way he is?

For some questions there simply are no answers.




(Bored Member Damith is from Sri Lanka where as Bored Member Q is from Pakistan; this is part of the Damith vs. Q BBC* Debate at BCC! for the Sri Lanka v Pakistan Super 8 game today. Rip into each other gentlemen)
*BBC - Bored Boys Chat

Click here for the complete Pak-Lanka Debate, start reading from down under.

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In moderation

Moderating the Big Fight between Damith and Q isnt easy. Especially since the only thing missing in this verbal joust is - moderation. And if this verbal joust is anything to go by, we are in for a treat tomorrow.

Damith got the ball rolling by questioning Afridi's credentials as a bowler. A premise that most of the civilized world would concur with (although his batting is equally suspect). He then upped the ante by questioning Pakistan's ability to play the big game and rounded off by mentioning ( in passing) the "Here is my middle finger" spinner, the Cardiac Kid who will never captain Sri Lanka and the volleyballer whose name no one can get right.

A tall order indeed!

As behooves an opposition member from the subcontinent ( or just about anywhere), Q wasnt going down without a fight. Or a brawl.

Q's verbal barrage included the following - calling Sri Lanka weak, top heavy and ... minnows! This was followed by big upping the Peshawar Rickshaw and the Rajasthan Royal that could. If dissing The Splendid one was not enough, Q raised the roof by mentioning Popeye.. I mean, really! This was followed by poking a needle through the Cardiac Kid who will never captain Sri Lanka voodoo doll.

Honorable mentions of the Shrieker behind the stumps, You knows, Missed by 5 minutes and Hyderabad ka damaad rounded up his repartee.

The ball is in your court Damith!




(Bored Member Damith is from Sri Lanka where as Bored Member Q is from Pakistan; this is the start of the Damith vs. Q BBC* Debate at BCC! for the Sri Lanka v Pakistan Super 8 game tomorrow. Rip into each other gentlemen)
*BBC - Bored Boys Chat

Click here for the complete Pak-Lanka Debate, start reading from down under.

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Answers for Damith & Some Questions too

You call Afridi's leg spinners to minnows illegal.

So what will you call it when he runs through the Lanka batting line up?

Will it be illegal because he ran through the minnows? Or will it be destructive bowling that was too good for the Sri Lankans?

Speaking of your batting line up, there isn't much after the top 4.

By the time Gul and Tanvir are done with them, Afridi will run through the minnow-esque middle order and tail.

You call Mendis Splendid, but we both know that he's far from that.

He caught the Aussies sleeping because they had never played him before.

Pakistan, on the other hand, have had the better of him in Tests, ODIs, and T20s.

Mendis doesn't stand a chance against Akmal, Younis, Misbah, Malik, and the rest.

Moreover, if our spinach-eating-popeye-impersonator Abdul Razzaq lands in London on time, any hope that you had will be lost!

You know as well as I do that Dilshan fails every 3rd innings - come tomorrow, come Pakistan, and it will be his 3rd innings of the World T20.

Sadly we won't see a single sitting-down-in-weird-frog-type-stance-and-scooping-over-the-keeper-shot!

So Damith boy, your team doesn't stand a chance.

(Bored Member Damith is from Sri Lanka where as Bored Member Q is from Pakistan; this is the start of the Damith vs. Q BBC* Debate at BCC! for the Sri Lanka v Pakistan Super 8 game tomorrow. Rip into each other gentlemen)
*BBC - Bored Boys Chat

Click here for the complete Pak-Lanka Debate, start reading from down under.

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The terms of engagement

This post is for Bored friends Q, Damith and Homer. All three care about stuff the civilised world has absolutely no interest in. In Q's case, the obsession is with Fawad Alam. Damith cares enough about Michael Vaughan and Homer cares about the Ponting-Chawla "rivalry". Which makes them the ideal parties to the debate, for a game that I, ahem, find far too difficult to care about.

So yawn, here is what a bored debate requires. It needs a proposition and an opposition. And of course, a moderator.

We have the proposition in Damith (who has already fired his opening salvo, i see. btw, welcome on bored, dude), and I guess, we have the opposition in Q (no offence Q, you just happen to be speaking second).

So who will moderate? Homer. Obviously. Not because of some absurd big-brother-in-the-subcontinent-notion, but because his name is Homer and the origins of modern debate and other boring things lie in ancient Greece, see?

1. Q, will need to fire in his defence pretty soon. Are you ready Q?
2. Homer will summarise both arguments and prepare the ground for Damith's repartee
3. Damith's repartee. If we could afford it, we would have made Ravi Shastri say "This is Big!" three times before Damith starts.
4. Q's counter-arguments
5. Homer's final summary of the debate
6. Match begins.
7. Cricket decides the winner of this debate. and our two fat ladies would have started singing.

Tell me if this format works - Q, Damith and Homer. Not that I particularly care. So bored.

(Bored Member Damith is from Sri Lanka where as Bored Member Q is from Pakistan; this is the start of the Damith vs. Q BBC* Debate at BCC! for the Sri Lanka v Pakistan Super 8 game on 12th June 2009. Rip into each other gentlemen)
*BBC - Bored Boys Chat

Click here for the complete Pak-Lanka Debate, start reading from down under.

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Bored Game: Two Fat Ladies!

Welcome Dear Bored Friend to our ingenious new Bored Game – two fat ladies. The Super 8s of the T20 World Cup are upon us, but to tell you the truth, we’re still hung up on the IPL.

And as most national teams have players from the same nation, (barring England...) they never can elicit the same response the melting pot league does. Aren’t you sick of watching a team of eleven Indians, eleven Pakistanis, eleven Australians – compare that to a team of 1 South African, 1 Australian, 1 Kiwi, 1 Sri Lankan, 7 Indians, and some liberal sprinklings of Englishmen on the bench and a coach from Saturn.

You loved it, didn’t you? Why didn’t they play another IPL in England, instead of this sham of a scam of an ICC World Twenty20?

There you have it – you can now play the IPL in the World Cup. As we’re down to 8 teams, India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, England, West Indies, New Zealand, South Africa, Ireland – why not connect each team with one of the IPL teams – now, unlike national sides, we don’t even have to tell you the names here - KKR or Knight Riders or Kolkata Knight Riders, every spot boy in Bollywood will tell you. That’s the deal with teams in the spotlight, boy!

For people from another planet, the IPL teams – 1) Deccan Chargers 2) Bangalore Royal Challengers 3) Delhi Daredevils 4) Chennai Superkings 5) Kings XI Punjab 6) Rajasthan Royals 7) Mumbai Indians 8) Kolkata Knight Riders

Also, while you’re busy matching teams do give us a reason - You can post in comments/Yawns or even mail us bcciwrites@gmail.com

The exceptional comments will attain immortality as posts on Bored! The best post will also be 1) Announced at Bored 2) Linked up 3) Carried forward in a song and 4) cartoon dedication 5) As always a surprise!

Let’s get cracking!

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Ricky can't stop talking about Splendid Mendis

Ricky on Mendis

“We’ve all had an opportunity to see plenty of video footage of him, but when you’re in a Twenty20 game and you’ve got to go out there and play a certain way, you’ve got to take, rick the challenge up to the bowlers,” Ponting, who was one of Mendis’ victims, said. “Today he got the better of us. “

Translation - Mendis was too good for me and the rest our shit eaters. We jizzed in our pants.

“He certainly had a big impact on the game. That was probably the difference in the game that their spinner did dictate to us a little bit through the middle of our batting innings.”

Translation- Mendis dominated us. We are shit. So we Jizzed in our pants. I just cant stop saying it but we really did jizz in our pants this time. Hopefully it will wash off easy, cuz I hate it when those flakes get stuck on my hairy arms.

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Early Bored Call - West Indies vs. Sri Lanka

Gayle will fail, about time he did. He's already won two games, and one of them wasn't even a warm-up. Once Gayle fails, so will his boy Fletcher. Be down to hard times for Sarwan and Co vs. the Lankan slowpokes. The game could even see Mendis-Murali- Sanath-Dilshan bowl as many as 12 overs between them. Looking at the Lankan quicks, Malinga aside, from a purely aesthetic pov, they should not bother with more than 2-4 overs between them. Let them open if Malinga doesn't want to. So, slowpokes 12 (if not more) overs, 4 Malinga, and play the rest by ear.

Be watchable if Dilshan comes off again, and if Sanath does too that's a Diwali Bonus. But honestly, the Lankan batting is working class, and not even Hero. In spite of that, they should win this match of no consequence.

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WC Twenty20 - The Fake IPL

Image by teemus via Flickr

Q. What would you call a Twenty20 tournament (ICC World Twenty20) where the cheerleaders are fully clothed?

Ans. A Fake IPL

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Why is this match so quiet?

Hardly any noise from the crowd.

The commentators sound so un-interested.

No music being played.

On top the South Africans are not even scoring!

What's wrong here?

Decibels have dropped since Pakistan and the Dutch left Lord's.

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