First published here
When Dinesh Karthik made Colombo seem like Chennai
First published here
Feminazis Protest RAshwin's Attempted Dismissal of Thiriwhatshisname on Mistaken Etymological Grounds
"Its not that we hate stupid, fat, unsporting Sri Lankans" began Mr Warne rather bizarrely. "We welcome their privilege to play the game the way they want to and then say at the press conference later that they don't play that way. Nothing wrong with that. Having said that, we don't have any issue with the manner in which RAshwin tried dismissing (insert long random annoying Sri Lankan name here)!" beamed a jubilant Mr Warne, knowing he had used the prized tactic of confounding everyone whilst drawing up sufficient attention to perfection.
There is always one idiot who feeds this frenzied attention whoring much-ado-about-nothing-but-hey-heres-a-mic-somebody-gotta-talk-let-me-at-least-I-can-do-it-for-a-cause (hey! that could be a Sri Lankan name if you remove the hyphens!), and some stupid Mr Manjrekar (name changed to protest privacy of the criminally stupid) then followed up with, "I don't get, what then is your issue, Mr Warne?" much to the undisguised delight of feminazi, Mr Warne.
"Well, here's my concern. If it was a woman's cricket match, we know they're not as soft as some people (snigger), but how would that dismissal have been reported? MAN-KADDED??? I mean, what a joke. Cricket has always been a game for the old men's club and the disgraceful terms they're using are another attempt to force subservience to women, making them utter "man" or "men" rather than something neutral like "thing" or "thang"... And before you ask, I'm not saying you should change it to womankadded, why can't we just use kadded? or thing-kadded?" [I know... thing cudded also inspires visions of bovine supremacy]
An astute observer Mr Bhogle (name changed just for kicks) wondered out loud "Now then. I _just_ wonder, how would Vinoo feel about all this! Surely he's not a thing, or a woman or a ma... well he is a man, but that can't be his fault now, can it?"
Note: This post is not offensive, because I endorse it. It is also not offensive because it mocks the litany of other blogs on this issue that revolve around equally stupid premises. You can take your stupid reasons for agreeing or disagreeing with the spirit or the law and shove it up your candy @$$3$! I have spoken. Because I have the right, like everybody else. And you have read that. Also, tomorrow I'll give my opinion on the impact of rising oil prices and Goldman Sach's role in this affair. THANQ
Angelo's Alright
How could you take Angelo Mathews seriously?The scorecard says he took three wickets in an over in the semifinal of the T20 World Cup. But you and I know it was the inside edges and thigh pads that did the job then. I thought he'd get a few more games here and there before finding himself on his way out.
Sri Lanka thought they'd struck gold though and stuck with him. He turned up on Sri Lanka's tour of India. I snickered. When the commentator on AIR repeatedly called him Angela. When he ran himself out on 99 at Brabourne, as if he were Sri Lanka's answer to Shane Watson, all-rounder and nervous nineties nincompoop. I snickered when he had to return home midway through the following ODI series with an injury.
But then I went to see an IPL match this year. One SL player, Vaas, looked like he would finish the match early, lowering the vasool on my paisa. When another SL player, Mathews, however, stepped in and fought back. From guessing what over KKR would be all out by, we were now thinking KKR had it in them to go all the way this year. Mathews played and he flayed increasing my RoI and SRK's, even hitting a six in the row right in front of me.
Cold logic had me make him the trump player in my fantasy team that day but he became a favorite from then onwards.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm an Bored Cricket Crazy Indian and I approve of Angelo Mathews.
Malinga speaks the unspeakable truth.
The rapist pitch
Centuries ago, people used to call the pitch at the Sharjah a bowlers nightmare. The pitch on which the current match is going on and countless such airstrips masquerading as pitches in the subcontinent seem to have gone a step further. Just 4 wickets gone in just two days. That means a dismissal every one and a half session. A wicket every 44.3 overs. Heck, I could have survived a few overs on this "pitch".
Admitted, the bowling on display was not great. However as seen in the last match, a little help transformed the Indian pea shooters to at least the "competent" level. Here help was in the form of the opposing captain saying "I Declare". The Lankan bowlers must have cringed on hearing those words.
Anjelo Matthews was warned officially for running on the pitch. I have a sneaking suspicion that he purposely danced on the pitch so that he could be banned and his sanity saved. If that is the case, I admire the fella.
This ain't a bowlers' graveyard. After toiling hard, if you get a century of runs made against you, you would prefer to be dead. Graveyard is where the dead rest undisturbed. Bowlers would wish to go spend the rest of their lives in the grave if they were told to bowl on pitches like these for the rest of their lives.
This thing is an undead bowler rapist.
One down
Can we take a leaf out of that “Maa Ki” tour and get the wall of a player in first?
Or will it be the wicketkeeper-captain-material rated very highly by Greg Chappell?
If we indeed get the wall of the player one down, where will the Fake One Down Player play ?
Oh, it could also be Harbhajan.. The position is also called one drop, he did get one to drop down… the cameraman in the airport. So will it be him?
Who the @#$% is One Down??
Will there be anybody batting One Down for India?
Will he be for Real?
Return tomorrow evening, post match, for a postmortem.
Wasn't Bored almost right or what?!
What would have South Africa done?
If it were South Africa playing New Zealand instead of Sri Lanka, then despite winning all its previous games and looking like the best team on paper, South Africa would have made sure they didn't qualify for the semi finals.
They did it in 2007.
Sri Lanka showed them how not to do it in 2009.
So then, how many teams (besides Australia) have reached the semis unbeaten and gone on to play the final?
What Kind of a Format Allows...
Pakistan to qualify for the semi finals after beating New Zealand, Netherlands, and Ireland...
Damith's moment of the Sri Lanka vs. Australia game
when calamity jehan made his way to the middle they showed isuru udanas profile video. though he won the game for sl, jehan was not calamityless even for a minute.
long live calamity jehan!
For more on calamity, you can go here.
by Damith
The T20 Carnival begins tomorrow!
So, the warm up matches are over, including the India-Pakistan warm up final! It is time for the T20 carnival to begin!
A quick look at the teams:
Ireland, Scotland, Netherlands, Bangladesh: The group of upsetters! It would be fun to watch, whose party they spoil!
Australia: Andrew Symonds has been sent back home! So reports Achettup! The Oz T20 teams now looks like those racist blokes really in need of some proteins, wait that could send all of them back, ala Warney!
South Africa: Any side that has benefited the most from the IPL, apart from India, in terms of match practice, it is these guys. Guess, CSA has a certain BRC management to thank!
New Zealand: Their reaching the semi finals is almost a given! After all it is an ICC tournament! Can't bet on it though! Want to bet on Saffers choking instead?
England and West Indies: Are very happy with winning against each other! May get out of the WC as soon as it begins! Of course, you know that!
Pakistan: They have lost both their warm up matches, so they are going a long way in this World Cup, on account of their inconsistency!
Sri Lanka: I hate their team outfits!
India: One loss, one win! Against somebody they have never won against, against somebody they have never lost any! Yeah, you can't comment much on their form! But they are the defending champions!
All that I would now add, Aane De!
Bored Trivia

More angst than an Ind-Pak
130 years of unbroken Cricket
Who says cricket in the Subcontinent is Boring?
by Damith
11 players / 6 Allrounders = 320/8
Achettup
Yusuf Pathan, Irfan Pathan and Ravindra Jadeja are in the side as genuine allrounders. Raina, Sehwag and Yuvraj can all bowl pretty decently. Rohit Sharma can bowl, but he didn't bowl too much. When was the last time you saw a side with 3 genuine allrounders still go ahead and use the 3 partnership breakers and one other guy who could roll his arm over? All in all 9 bowlers were used, they might as well have gone and used Gambhir and maybe even Dhoni could have given himself a bowl.
Its fun to have genuine allrounders at numbers 7,8 and 9. Its even more fun when they don't have to bat.