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Showing posts with label KP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label KP. Show all posts
How do you want KP to bat in The Asses
There was a time, KP muttered, “at the end of the day” like MSD mutters his "of course". That was when he was captain. Now he’s blindfolded, and in this cool but pointless video. There’s a series of videos coming up – KP on one leg, KP on his head, KP in a tub, KP in drag, KPLD, KP in SAFA gear, KP breaking his ribs.
Deal with KP is, he can pull it off. May be not in SAFA gear, but pretty much everything else. So if you’re English, or South African with an English mommy, send in your mails to KP@theasses.com how do you want KP to bat? 158. Damn right you are.
(video from Bored Member Som's blog, Doosra)
Now ECB blames BCCI over twittergate
It boils down to BCCI conspiring to make KP available for the Champions League (CLT20). And the only way KP could've been available for the League was if he was free of international commitments.
A seething ECB after the exposé have not only blasted the BCCI, but have also lodged a formal complaint with the ICC for the suspension of the CLT20.
According to our sources, the ICC will seriously consider making an example out of this incident.
An internal inquiry into the matter suggests that there has been an upsurge in such 'accidental' f*ck tweets, in the hope the cricket boards drop the players from the national squads paving the way for more lucrative leagues like the CLT20 and IPL where they can earn more for far lesser efforts.
Listen to KP speak.
There’s clarity, swift thought, quick talk. None of that “at the end of the day” repetition he gets to when the chips are down. When KP lost game after game in India, he ended many days, one-day after the other.
Listen to KP now. He sounds good enough to start scoring 158 again. KP on song is good for English cricket, the IPL, Mallaya’s investment, test cricket, yeah, most of all test cricket – he will come down the wicket, break his ribs, break the bowler, break it down again.
If he gets going in tests, the average paranoid Nasser Hussein will first look at him going beyond fifty. The Aussies, they will, never mind. I’ve always considered KP to be a bit of a Jatman – he has the madness to use the bat like a luth (stick) – in him, I also see a bit of Yuvi.
There is the desire to dominate, to whip the enemy into shape – kill the air with his fists, howl that mad war cry, these are the Beowulfs – they are already part of legend, no matter what they do or don't do from here.
English cricket craves KP, just as Indian cricket continues to crave Yuvraj. It’s a grand obsession, a pagallpan.
England's not too bad, eh?
You could be entertaining all evening, barely watch a ball, and then 70 overs later, both Strauss and Cook are back in the hut. Thank you. And suddenly it’s the KP and Owais show, time to be entertained. That’s perception. Doesn’t matter that both Strauss & Cook wangled a 6 each, Strauss scored a big 100, and Cook a big nigh hundred.
Bored Joke: What do you say when Darren Powell gets to play in spite of himself: Powell Play.
England wastes a day's play.
When you reconnect with cricket at 3.20 am, what do you want? You want England on its knees, not for a knighthood, but a Night Shyamalan spooky. You can overlook a wasted day’s play, you can even overlook missing the Live telecast that was a dead telecast.
That’s what highlights are for, to watch the lowlifes go down. And that’s where KP comes in. He can’t save England, he can’t save the Royal Challengers, but he will somehow save himself.
Somewhere Australia will feel smug about the Ashes, and they may even forget about that Sunday ODI. Surely not another day of rest for the Aussies.
At the end of the day, at the end of the day is gone
2.10 AM IST: KP tries to hoist another flag at midwicket, where else, and he’s gone. Caught Keeper, yet again in front of the wicket, but no offence, none taken. Before that 4,4, 6. Now it’ll read as 4,4,6, W. And you’ll be forgiven to think, is KP a tailender. At the end of the day, as KP would himself have said, cheers mate. 97 Red Balloons go high.
Is this funny (from cricinfo): "That shot was KP's take on a recent film - dumbslog millionaire," chortles Steve.
KP’s swan cum eagle song
You play well against yourself
You play well against your Pa
You play well against South Africa
You play well against Britannia
You play well against Mama Mia!
You’re from Africa
But they don’t want you
Who the hell are you?
An Englishman or a Jew?
Get out, or we’ll sue! Sue, sue, sue
You get out, out, out!
You get a break
For heaven’s sake
You become big, you rake
You become captain
You become a pain
You gain, you feign
You lose your mind, become insane
Want more, you want more
Want Moores out, want Moores out
You have your way, have your shout
Get ready for one last rout
Drink your ale, drink your stout
Must’ve been drunk
You’ll soon be shrunk
From Big Pom Pietersen
To li’l kid Kevin
Nearly dead, closer to heaven
That’s what they’re saying
That’s what they’re praying
To hell with them
To hell with them
There ain’t no rhyme
There ain’t no reason
You’re a lad
For every commercial season.
no moores 'at the end of day'...
as they say
every exit is an entrance for someone else....
so here comes strauss and there goes KP and with him 'at the end of day'...
when oxford announced 'at the end of day' as the most irritating phrase...KP's days at the helm were numbered anyway... 1) we all know how blindly poms follow oxford... 2) coz of his fondness for this phrase which is well document here @ BCC!...
why KP & Moores quit...
kp: yaar england main mere siva 'coach' achcha nahi hai...so i quit...
moores: jo aadmi hamesha 'PK' ulta rehta hai...vo captaani kya karega...isska 'coach' nahi ho sakta...so i quit...
before that...ecb in their last-ditch effort to save embarrassment...made KP drink gallons of pepsi...but still failed to make him say 'yeh dil maange moores'...
according to BCC! sources...that's when the fate of the duo was sealed...
Return of At the end of the day
KP’s back. His bowling changes were MSDesque. His field placements for MSD were KPesque. To look MSD in the eye was the idea -short cover, short mid off, not short of ideas, KP. England warmed the cricket engine before tea, and then unleashed it on the Marina.
Zimbabwean influence on English cricket
by Naked Cricket
KP won the toss but didn’t find his lost mojo. England did what they often do: score runs upfront and then lose so many plots they burst the real estate bubble again - 4 for 65 off 33 overs. That’s empathy for you: they rather play like Zim than play them. Divide your screen into two: play the Zim horror chases vs. Lanka on the right, and you’d be left with England chasing its tail.
But before that they swept. If you didn’t know it, now you do - Andy Flower is their assistant coach. In spirit and in sweep. The reason they hired Flower was his 50+ test average. Poms, even the best of them respect a 40+ average, with 50+ they go flat out on the floor and levitate.
You have to grant Flower this much. He maybe Zim but he got that 50+ avg without playing Zim.
England watched hundreds of Flower videos, but in doing so, (largely because of poor video edits) they also inculcated into their batting, the attributes of lesser Zim batsmen.
KP, for one, took a shine to Henry Olonga’s batting. Convenient as Olonga now lives in England.
At the end of the day ton
KP scored a century. Good for him. Good for the English, they tend to miss centuries more than Chetan Chauhan. Ever heard Nasser Hussein go on about the importance of tons - ever seen his manic gesture at that Natwest after he got one. There was Tresco, he used to get them. Then there’s KP, he started by getting them. The English don’t get it – it’s not about centuries. Otherwise Jumbo would have scored more. At the end of the day, KP, ODI centuries are clichés. Almost like your day ending spree. They can win you games, but can also lose you the plot. Terrible being too internalised, more so in cricket. And imagine watching the same batsman for nearly fifty overs. Murder for someone with your attention span, right Kevin?
At the end of the day does this make KP the most irritating phrase?
KP’s ‘at the end of the day’ has been well documented here at BCC! And now, Oxford University has gone to town with it. According to them ‘At the end of the day’ is the most irritating phrase. Thank you Silly M(a)idon
T22 – end of day wrap-up
KP ended two days in the post match interview in Bangalore. It is now confirmed he doesn’t read this blog. Why else would he 'at the end of the day' us twice in two consecutive sentences. Had it been a longer interview, who knows, he might have ended the world.
What else? Sehwag spoke as only he can, humble, while Bumble spoke about India intent on 7-0. It’s a rare talent Sehwag and Bumble have: bringing cheer n charm even in a one-day series. KP meanwhile, did say cheers.
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