Should Sanjay Manjrekar be given a farewell match as commentator?

Once Sanjay Manjrekar was omitted from the BCCI’s panel of commentators, there was no cricket left to commentate on. While Manjrekar took his omission far more gracefully than Ravindra Jadeja took his criticism as a “bits and pieces cricketer”, there’s no saying how this will end.

Manjrekar has been outspoken in his comment; often something that hasn’t gone down too well with watchers of the game – be it his take on Jadeja or Cheteshwar Pujara, he has minced no words.

But when it comes to his relentless praise of Rohit Sharma through the years, he’s spared no garnish.

Now the preoccupation with Rohit’s talent and unfulfilled promise has not been Manjrekar’s alone – commentators, many of them former cricketers, have spent so much time Rohiting away, it’s surprising Star Sports failed to start a channel for this sole purpose. What would they call it – Star Talent of course.

This could have led to Talent scouts, Talent hunts and a remake of the Hollywood film, The Talented Mr Ripley (rechristened as The Talented Mr Rohit).

Once upon a time, I was a huge fan of Sanjay Manjrekar’s – there I said it. Yes, I even said so on air. On NDTV, on a show titled The evolution of cricket commentary – from close to six years back but yes, I said it. After 30 minutes into the show when asked about our favourite commentator, I mention how commentators work in pairs and how Manjrekar-Chappell were one such pair, with an almost father-son rapport.

You can listen to me on Manjrekar here (after 30 minutes).

Today, when cricket and all sport appeared to have been given a farewell, we must ask ourselves, doesn’t Sanjay deserve a farewell match? Hell, even Ashish Nehra got one. Sachin got two.

Or would the BCCI rather have him go into exile and spawn another ICL and draw Ambati Rayudu back into it again? 

There’s much time for thought. I suggest a white ball game where Rohit Sharma will captain, open the batting and speak to Sanjay after the match. It is all he would have dreamed of.

Another thing, Ian Chappell should be invited as well. And if it’s TRPs that Star is after, maybe they seat Sourav, Sachin and Greg Chappell together as well.

After all, they pulled off Bhajji and Hayden, didn’t they? And there will be so much lost time to make up for – who knows, maybe they cage Manjrekar through his stints, promoting the match as Sanjay WildKar. Pujara can make an ODI comeback, what more could Manjrekar ask for? An elephant in the room perhaps.

Next: Should I be given a welcome match on Manjrekar's farewell match?

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When did we learn to laugh with Ashish Nehra and not at him?

Ashish Nehra is a peep into our lives, what we were two decades back, what we became - as he faltered, as he rose again, as he fell, as he rose again, as he laughed, how we mocked, how we refused to forgive, how we forgot about him, how we laughed when he returned, how we were amazed when he bowled well.

We are all complicit. We all Tweeted. Even before Twitter.

Ashish Nehra, much like a younger Anil Kumble, is the reason we rag in colleges. Why we react to a person’s physical attributes. Call him names, much, much before an old, cool friend of his adds a “Ji” to his name. And the networks pick it up and parrot it. And we, we for a few days, nay, a few hours, forget about those memories, and forgive ourselves conveniently, and show him some respect.

But Ashish Nehra is a funny guy. He refuses to forgive himself. Or at least it would seem so. He hasn’t become someone else. He has remained Nehra. He is still that AHSH-EEESH. That gawky, funny guy, who refused to fit in.

He’s way cooler than us. He’s way funnier than us. He refuses to be part of any club that will have him. He is, in a warped, funny way, a legend, without really being a cricket legend. He is a life legend. A survival kit. A guy you can almost expect to sing the parody, “Like a surgeon” to mock his 12 surgeries. Our own guy from the early Tim Burton films when they were funny, original, disrespectful and weird.

Nobody does weird better in Indian cricket than Ashish Nehra. Possibly because nobody who does weird survives – look what happened to Kambli and Sreesanth. Life mocked them, we mocked them, hell, they even mocked themselves. One was snubbed by life, the other slapped.

As for Ashish Nehra, he doesn’t whine, so while his 12 surgeries and Jimmy Amarnath-like comebacks are part of folklore, they didn’t define him. Unlike his more famous buddy, Sehwag, who was unable to choose his farewell from cricket, Nehra did.

He announced one fine day, that the Delhi T20 against New Zealand will be his last cricket match. No, not just international, but last match. No IPL for him, unlike so many greats before him. Did Nehra just kick a few million bucks in the ass? Who does that?

Ashish Nehra does. Nehra does what you cannot even fathom. Ask for the ball. Ask for the ball to bowl the last over in a chase that has sneaked up so close, Pakistan can taste the korma, and are dancing in aisles of Sharjah. Never mind that there may not have been any such chase in Sharjah, the Nehra story is nothing without embellishment.

We embellish it. He embellishes it. With sauces, words, hyperbole. And when it is cooked, hot to be served, we collectively draw our knives and carve both Nehra and his story out.

We start to laugh at his teeth.  Oh, how we love to laugh at his teeth. And how he lost us that last match by screwing up the last over and went into hiding after that. We make cartoons of him, mocking him. I made a cartoon too. When I would draw. Draw knives at Nehra. Not remember him as the coolest thing that happened to India cricket, even if it was just for one night.

“hehe...you got the wrong guy...I'm not this
Nehra guy you keep calling me”

My favourite Nehra memory for a long time was him ripping into a leg of chicken in the dressing room – the prying cameras caught him in the act. You will never see Sachin or Dravid eat, maybe sip water or walk on it, but never rip into a bone. Nehra, a long, long time back, was privileged to be caught in the act of food porn on television.

But either side of that leg of chicken, I was forever amazed that an Indian bowler could bowl that beautiful length – that perfect short-of-a-length length. That length that pitched where a ball must pitch, and pull the batsman up like a puppet, ball after ball.

And it was like a stick-figure was bowling it. There, I couldn’t help myself, even in praise, I had to make a cartoonish comparison.

I haven’t seen Ashish Nehra for a long time. I’m told he’s been training where I train, in Siri Fort. But have I even seen it? With Nehra you never know. Your memories are either much more or much less than they really are. Your Nehra stories will soon become your own extractions. Whether he won or lost that match is entirely up to you.

On 1^st November, 2017, Ashish Nehra was a match winner, with both the ball and his mouth. While with ball, it was short of length, with the mouth, it was anything but that.

When wished a happy retirement by the much ridiculed Manjrekar, Nehra snapped, “I’m always happy”.

For once, there were no Nehra-teeth jokes. The goalpost had long shifted to Sanjay Manjrekar.

First published here

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Character building of an Indian cricket fan.

I begin to write this piece on the eve of the 3rd Test (that may or may not happen thanks to the riots) of a series that may turn out to be either an ass-whipping of a lifetime or the story of an inspiring comeback a la Kolkata 2001. In this mood of ubiquitous gloom, let me put forth the singular reason why, I think, being a Team India fan is good for us. In fact, turning children into ardent Team India followers should be recommended to parents of today. The reason is very simple; it is what separates the boys from the big boys and Jatman from most humans - Character. In the list of character building activities, being a Team India supporter ranks very high. Although, be warned, it is a slow process.

Allow me to rejig your memory and take you back to a few incidents that have certainly built the character of a die-hard India fan. The frequency of such incidents has certainly dropped with this new hitherto all conquering side led by MS Dhoni, but nevertheless this English summer has restored my faith in the process. Even more so now that They are nearing retirement.

Take for example an Innings by Sanjay Manjrekar or Ravi Shastri in an ODI. The person who said "Patience is a virtue, seldom found in men" had never met Sanjay Manjrekar and Ravi Shastri. With a strike rate in the vicinity of their batting average, watching an innings played by either of these men is a lesson in patience for all - their team, the opposition, the umpires, the ground staff and the spectators. If you ever find yourself getting impatient and anxious about something, then watching an ODI innings by either of these gentlemen will help much more than any breathing or meditation exercise that your local spiritual dude may suggest. If they batted any slower, the scoreboard would start moving backwards. This is not to suggest that our past generations did not get adequate chance at building their character. Many turned from boys to men in the 60 overs that Sunil Gavaskar took to score 36*.

Then again, for a long time Team India players were called "Lions at home and Lambs abroad (not to be confused with Alan Lamb)". Fellow ardent, battle hardened fans would remember the 1996 Boxing day Test between India and South Africa at Kingsmead, Durban, when one opposition player alone ended up scoring more than 3/4th of Team India's score in the two innings put together. All 11 India players put up a 100 run stand between them in the first innings and in the second, India’s scorecard read like the final countdown from top to bottom. There is also the Barbados test of 1997 when Team India failed to chase 120 in the 4th innings. It isn’t just that Team India used to come a cropper on bowler friends. I am sure many remember the Coca Cola Cup final when it appeared that Sanath Jayasuriya and the Indian team had batted on different "wickuts" altogether. The margin of victory was so much that Sri Lanka did not have to bat for two more matches against India. Like they say, anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

A lot can be said of the mental toughness of team India fans when Team India allows debutants and out of form players to reach Rajnikanth like awesomeness. The average Indian fan has lost count of the number of times a debutant has started his career with a century or a 5 wicket haul or an exceptional series too. Brett Lee, Franklin Rose and Alistair Cook to name a few. For a long time it appeared that Team India was BCCI's answer to Channel [V] Launchpad.

So, do not despair Team India fans when you look back at the happenings of the last 2 tests. If anything you are all much wiser and mentally stronger men and women, able to see the bigger picture and appreciate the greater meaning of life.

Now if you want an advanced degree of character building, please support the Indian Hockey team as fiercely as the Indian cricket team.

by Pranav Bhandarkar

Pranav thought he'd play for India. An honest self evaluation of his cricketing talents made him realize that he would do well if he made the playing 11 of his college team for 2 consecutive games.
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/

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Unfortunately it was not ICC World T20 for Blinds

Inside the circle, Yuvraj circled under a ball that had cleared the ropes long ago.

Bowden could not see the ball actually hit Rohit’s forearm.

Bhogle said Yuvraj had taken the catch when it was actually Rohit.

Manjrekar said Dhoni was the batsman when it was Yusuf Pathan.

Vijay blinked, Gambhir winked, Raina lost sight and Dhoni lacked vision.

These after Gayle came up with that blinder, looking like he can bat even blindfolded.

Unfortunately, for India, it was not ICC World Twenty20 for Blinds.

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" A gift for India"

That was Sanjay Manjrekar describing the Ricky Ponting run out. This was followed by " It was a good thing it was a direct hit, else the throw would have been awkward for the bowler".

This when Gautam Gambhir covered good distance in the outfield, fielded the ball with his wrong hand and then made a dead eye throw from 50 metres ( or more) to throw down the wickets at the non strikers end. Against one of the best judges of the run in the modern game, and one of its swiftest movers.

Any other team and Manjrekar would have jumped off his seat praising the accuracy and the speed of the throw along with the agility and the mobility of the fielder. Case in point  - when Hussey and Ponting were playing the short singles, Manjrekar was " the sharp single.. This is what Australia bring to the game".

And this has been the leitmotif of almost all cricketing discussion in India.

When India wins, we will find every possible reason to qualify our win. When we lose, we exaggerate every real or perceived fault.

We are the best ODI team in the world. So when we lose, it is the trigger for national mourning. However, the fact that we are the best team in the  world is qualified with Australia not being the force it was, England being ordinary, New Zealand not playing enough cricket. And look, India cannot sustain the number 1 ranking, so they dont deserve the ranking.

Just like India cannot play short pitched bowling. Never mind the fact that in the 2000s, we have the second best record ( after Australia) in winning overseas. And never mind the fact too that in this day and age, hardly anyone can play when the conditions are even so slightly off the norm. And never mind too that T20 is not ODI which is not Test Cricket, an argument that gets thrown up often every time an Indian, especially a youngster, performs.

Like, when a kid scores in the IPL, the first argument heard is that it is all fine and dandy to play the slam bang version of the game, but none of these kids can hold their own in Tests. However, when the same kids have problems scoring off the short ball in T20, the argument is that there is atechnical problem and how the future is bleak.. Conveniently forgetting that the T20 is the slam bang version of the game, unlike Tests, where the batsman can keep ducking under the ball till the cows come home!

And so on and so forth.

And this is from people who get paid to watch the game!

And then we berate "Match Ka Mujrim". I wonder why?

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