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Showing posts with label Pranav Bhandarkar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pranav Bhandarkar. Show all posts
The Number ‘One’ resigns its post.
Following the one-sided Edgbaston Test, the number ‘One’ has petitioned the world of Math’s to reorder the number system. Embarrassed by the erstwhile No.1 team’s performance, the Number ‘One’ was at a loss for words – “One cannot continue as the head of natural numbers, one wants to resign one’s position…”
If the request is accepted then apart from the obvious alterations in Arithmetic one expects changes in other texts too. "Famous Firsts" in History could be changed to "Scintillating Seconds" and water won’t be H20 anymore but H3O2. Neil Armstrong, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay will lose relevance while Buzz Aldrin and Jurg Marmet will be elevated to further celebrity status. Everest itself could lose prominence to K2. China will officially change its 1 child policy to 2 many.
Extra: While it has been accepted that the Number Zero was India's contribution to the world, it is now believed that the Indian was none other than Jatman, Sehwag.
Ishant Sharma has a plan.
It’s been learnt that Ishant Sharma could force the batsman to play the ball on the 5th day of the Edgbaston test. The plan until then is to muddle the batsman’s mind with a shrewd mix of wide outside-off and way outside leg bowling. In a nutshell, Ishant intends to play the waiting game.
The erstwhile conqueror of Ponting plans to bowl in the extended-corridor of uncertainty (keeping 3rd slip and gully honest) and only gradually move his probing line closer to the stumps.
“Look at my figures, I am the cheapest bowler today – 7 overs for just 16 runs, I want to make The Zaks proud…he once sang to me, you’re still young, it’s not your fault” explained Ishant as he gathered his goodies from the Riot! Sale.
In the absence of Zaheer Khan, Ishant could also attempt copying the injured bowler’s action, yet again. Last seen Ishant was looking for a hamstring injury.
Meanwhile Sachin Tendulkar, who is still enjoying the game, has postponed plans of scoring his 100th 100 until the 4th Test to put the team's interest ahead of personal milestones.
Character building of an Indian cricket fan.
I begin to write this piece on the eve of the 3rd Test (that may or may not happen thanks to the riots) of a series that may turn out to be either an ass-whipping of a lifetime or the story of an inspiring comeback a la Kolkata 2001. In this mood of ubiquitous gloom, let me put forth the singular reason why, I think, being a Team India fan is good for us. In fact, turning children into ardent Team India followers should be recommended to parents of today. The reason is very simple; it is what separates the boys from the big boys and Jatman from most humans - Character. In the list of character building activities, being a Team India supporter ranks very high. Although, be warned, it is a slow process.
Allow me to rejig your memory and take you back to a few incidents that have certainly built the character of a die-hard India fan. The frequency of such incidents has certainly dropped with this new hitherto all conquering side led by MS Dhoni, but nevertheless this English summer has restored my faith in the process. Even more so now that They are nearing retirement.
Take for example an Innings by Sanjay Manjrekar or Ravi Shastri in an ODI. The person who said "Patience is a virtue, seldom found in men" had never met Sanjay Manjrekar and Ravi Shastri. With a strike rate in the vicinity of their batting average, watching an innings played by either of these men is a lesson in patience for all - their team, the opposition, the umpires, the ground staff and the spectators. If you ever find yourself getting impatient and anxious about something, then watching an ODI innings by either of these gentlemen will help much more than any breathing or meditation exercise that your local spiritual dude may suggest. If they batted any slower, the scoreboard would start moving backwards. This is not to suggest that our past generations did not get adequate chance at building their character. Many turned from boys to men in the 60 overs that Sunil Gavaskar took to score 36*.
Then again, for a long time Team India players were called "Lions at home and Lambs abroad (not to be confused with Alan Lamb)". Fellow ardent, battle hardened fans would remember the 1996 Boxing day Test between India and South Africa at Kingsmead, Durban, when one opposition player alone ended up scoring more than 3/4th of Team India's score in the two innings put together. All 11 India players put up a 100 run stand between them in the first innings and in the second, India’s scorecard read like the final countdown from top to bottom. There is also the Barbados test of 1997 when Team India failed to chase 120 in the 4th innings. It isn’t just that Team India used to come a cropper on bowler friends. I am sure many remember the Coca Cola Cup final when it appeared that Sanath Jayasuriya and the Indian team had batted on different "wickuts" altogether. The margin of victory was so much that Sri Lanka did not have to bat for two more matches against India. Like they say, anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
A lot can be said of the mental toughness of team India fans when Team India allows debutants and out of form players to reach Rajnikanth like awesomeness. The average Indian fan has lost count of the number of times a debutant has started his career with a century or a 5 wicket haul or an exceptional series too. Brett Lee, Franklin Rose and Alistair Cook to name a few. For a long time it appeared that Team India was BCCI's answer to Channel [V] Launchpad.
So, do not despair Team India fans when you look back at the happenings of the last 2 tests. If anything you are all much wiser and mentally stronger men and women, able to see the bigger picture and appreciate the greater meaning of life.
Now if you want an advanced degree of character building, please support the Indian Hockey team as fiercely as the Indian cricket team.
Allow me to rejig your memory and take you back to a few incidents that have certainly built the character of a die-hard India fan. The frequency of such incidents has certainly dropped with this new hitherto all conquering side led by MS Dhoni, but nevertheless this English summer has restored my faith in the process. Even more so now that They are nearing retirement.
Take for example an Innings by Sanjay Manjrekar or Ravi Shastri in an ODI. The person who said "Patience is a virtue, seldom found in men" had never met Sanjay Manjrekar and Ravi Shastri. With a strike rate in the vicinity of their batting average, watching an innings played by either of these men is a lesson in patience for all - their team, the opposition, the umpires, the ground staff and the spectators. If you ever find yourself getting impatient and anxious about something, then watching an ODI innings by either of these gentlemen will help much more than any breathing or meditation exercise that your local spiritual dude may suggest. If they batted any slower, the scoreboard would start moving backwards. This is not to suggest that our past generations did not get adequate chance at building their character. Many turned from boys to men in the 60 overs that Sunil Gavaskar took to score 36*.
Then again, for a long time Team India players were called "Lions at home and Lambs abroad (not to be confused with Alan Lamb)". Fellow ardent, battle hardened fans would remember the 1996 Boxing day Test between India and South Africa at Kingsmead, Durban, when one opposition player alone ended up scoring more than 3/4th of Team India's score in the two innings put together. All 11 India players put up a 100 run stand between them in the first innings and in the second, India’s scorecard read like the final countdown from top to bottom. There is also the Barbados test of 1997 when Team India failed to chase 120 in the 4th innings. It isn’t just that Team India used to come a cropper on bowler friends. I am sure many remember the Coca Cola Cup final when it appeared that Sanath Jayasuriya and the Indian team had batted on different "wickuts" altogether. The margin of victory was so much that Sri Lanka did not have to bat for two more matches against India. Like they say, anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
A lot can be said of the mental toughness of team India fans when Team India allows debutants and out of form players to reach Rajnikanth like awesomeness. The average Indian fan has lost count of the number of times a debutant has started his career with a century or a 5 wicket haul or an exceptional series too. Brett Lee, Franklin Rose and Alistair Cook to name a few. For a long time it appeared that Team India was BCCI's answer to Channel [V] Launchpad.
So, do not despair Team India fans when you look back at the happenings of the last 2 tests. If anything you are all much wiser and mentally stronger men and women, able to see the bigger picture and appreciate the greater meaning of life.
Now if you want an advanced degree of character building, please support the Indian Hockey team as fiercely as the Indian cricket team.
Pranav thought he'd play for India. An honest self evaluation of his cricketing talents made him realize that he would do well if he made the playing 11 of his college team for 2 consecutive games.
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
28 year old man suddenly regresses to the age of 14.
The family of a man identified as Vijay Chauhan reported to be in his late 20s was in for a shock when he began to pack some notebooks in a bag before going off to sleep at an unusually early hour so he could wake up in time for school the next day. "After watching TV over dinner, he excused himself and was frantically looking for his school calendar so he could pack his bag according to the next days timetable", said the man's visibly distressed wife. "Vijay even mouthed some juvenile expletives when he realized he had two periods of SUPW the next day", she added.
The trauma for the family was over when he was reminded that he was 28 years old, the year was 2011 and school was 11-12 years ago. While initially unbelieving, the man was eventually reminded of his age when family members repeatedly showed him pictures of India's World Cup victory and also convinced him that the "hot didi" in the room was actually his wife.
Earlier in the evening, Vijay had been watching the 2nd Test between India and England on TV. Soon he began cursing Mohd. Azharuddin, supposedly the Indian captain, for India's shoddy performance. "Actually, I blame it on the team. England's tail batted longer than our whole team. This took me back to the 90s when I was a school kid and believed in the Indian team's moral right to victory. With this performance, the memories of Durban '96 and Barbados '97 came back to me. The resemblance to this test was so much that I started believing I was in the 90s all over again. Look we also allowed Broad to come back into form and talk about replacements turning out match winning performances. I am telling you, it was not difficult to be taken back to the 90s. " said Vijay speaking at a press conference after it was confirmed that he had regained his senses and come back to the present day. "By the way, anyone know whats up with Franklin Rose ?", he added.
Aashish Kapoor, a pillar on whose shoulders Team India rested in the 90s was quick to point out how Harbahajan Singh, just like him, was effectively playing the role of an extremely ineffective spinner. "The game plan for the boys should be to ball well, field well and bat well, you know and we will be back in this series", added India's longest serving captain of the 90s, Mohd. Azharuddin.
The trauma for the family was over when he was reminded that he was 28 years old, the year was 2011 and school was 11-12 years ago. While initially unbelieving, the man was eventually reminded of his age when family members repeatedly showed him pictures of India's World Cup victory and also convinced him that the "hot didi" in the room was actually his wife.
Earlier in the evening, Vijay had been watching the 2nd Test between India and England on TV. Soon he began cursing Mohd. Azharuddin, supposedly the Indian captain, for India's shoddy performance. "Actually, I blame it on the team. England's tail batted longer than our whole team. This took me back to the 90s when I was a school kid and believed in the Indian team's moral right to victory. With this performance, the memories of Durban '96 and Barbados '97 came back to me. The resemblance to this test was so much that I started believing I was in the 90s all over again. Look we also allowed Broad to come back into form and talk about replacements turning out match winning performances. I am telling you, it was not difficult to be taken back to the 90s. " said Vijay speaking at a press conference after it was confirmed that he had regained his senses and come back to the present day. "By the way, anyone know whats up with Franklin Rose ?", he added.
Aashish Kapoor, a pillar on whose shoulders Team India rested in the 90s was quick to point out how Harbahajan Singh, just like him, was effectively playing the role of an extremely ineffective spinner. "The game plan for the boys should be to ball well, field well and bat well, you know and we will be back in this series", added India's longest serving captain of the 90s, Mohd. Azharuddin.
Pranav
thought he'd play for India. An honest self evaluation of his
cricketing talents made him realize that he would do well if he made the
playing 11 of his college team for 2 consecutive games.
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Batting School (2)
For Batting School (1), go here
The Heisenberg School for Uncertain Batting - When students of this school go out to bat, their captain, coach, mates - absolutely no one knows what they are going to do. In fact, most times, even they don't know what they are going to do. Often it appears they are batting in the context of some other game altogether. Harbhajan Singh is the greatest product of this school. Shahid Afridi was expelled from this school when the management realized that his batting was getting way too predictable to maintain the high standards of uncertainty achieved by students of this school. This school has campuses only in the subcontinent.
The WW2 Veterans School for Batting - These batsmen bat not on their captains’ orders but on Winston Churchill's orders. They perform best under severe pressure, as if in combat and when their mates are being decimated. These batsmen typically instill spine in their team's tail-enders, inspiring them to bat longer. Steve Waugh and V.V.S. Laxman graduated from this school.
The Sir Donald Bradman School for Advanced Batting Studies – Ever since this institution was setup by Sir Don, there has been only one graduate from this school. There is a strong view in India that Sachin belongs to this school, while zealous followers even claim Sachin started the school, while still others feel that Sir Don belongs to the Sachin school.
To be Continued....
Pranav thought he'd play for India. An honest self evaluation of his cricketing talents made him realize that he would do well if he made the playing 11 of his college team for 2 consecutive games.
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Batting School!
No, not betting school but batting school. Ever wondered why different batsmen approach the game somewhat differently ? It's simply because there' a difference in the schooling of these batsmen. Bored brings you a list of the top Batting Schools around the world.
The M.K. Gandhi School of Batting - These batsmen do not bat. They offer Satyagraha - a form of nonviolent resistance. Batsmen graduating from this school believe their bat is a destructive weapon and therefore use it as little as possible. That is not to say they don’t spend many hours at the crease. On the contrary, a batting Satyagrahi spends, on an average, 3.24 more hours at the crease than any other batsman in the team. The career of these batsmen is not measured in terms of runs scored but in terms of number of balls left outside the off stump. When a fast bowler (to the satyagrahi, the oppressor) runs in hard every over only to see his deliveries left alone it causes him severe exhaustion and frustration. This tactic is the chief weapon of the satyagrahi. The fielders are rendered useless due to sheer brain inactivity. Famous alumni from this school include Sanjay Manjrekar, Sunil Gavaskar, Ravi Shastri & Marvan Atapattu.
The Adolf Hitler School of Batting Studies - Batsmen graduating from this school attack at the crease, attack on the field, attack at press conferences and attack at the bar. When captainng their sides, they could attack during the toss too. They come out to bat as if someone has questioned their manhood. When these batsmen are unleashed on a particularly batsman friendly pitch, folks at Amnesty International work overtime. Prominent alumni include Viv Richards, Adam Gilchrist, Tilekaratne Dilshan, Andrew Symonds and Shahid Afridi.
The KLPD School for Batsmen - "Flatter to Deceive" is the motto of this school. Batsmen from this school typically score a century or two quickly to "cement" their place in the side and then remain in the side for as long as 2-3 revolutions of the sun. Mohd. Ashraful is the brand ambassador of this school whereas Rohit Sharma, Virat Kohli are the Indian graduates. The terms "beautiful 30" and "failing to convert the 30s into 50s and the 70s into 100s" are commonly used for these batsmen.
To be Continued....
Pranav thought he'd play for India. An honest self evaluation of his cricketing talents made him realize that he would do well if he made the playing 11 of his college team for 2 consecutive games.
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Player Profile: Sourav Ganguly
Dada hated running between the wickets especially when his partner at the crease was Kaif or Yuvraj. That is why he liked batting alongside V.V.S. Laxman and secretly hoped that Inzamam was an Indian. This was good for India because Dada belted a lotta boundaries, especially on the off side.
Dada once went an entire English summer without shaving his chest and
when he thought the time was right he proudly displayed it on the Lord's
balcony. He introduced a number of new traditions to the job of the captain like continually arriving late for the toss.
He also led India to the World Cup finals for the first time in 20
years leading by example with the bat and successfully hiding himself
when on the field.
Dada has tremendous support in his home state of West Bengal which
used to light up like a torch any time any one suggested dropping him
from the team. On lazy afternoons in Kolkata, Dada fans are known to
walk with thumbed up noses in the general direction of Bangalore and
sometimes even Australia.
Pranav thought he'd play for India. An honest self evaluation of his cricketing talents made him realize that he would do well if he made the playing 11 of his college team for 2 consecutive games.
Pranav also blogs at www.clearaswater.blogspot.com
Pranav also blogs at www.clearaswater.blogspot.com
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